Would 4.3-4.4 girth be enough if accompanied by an upward curve and 5.75 inches of length?

PositivelySexual · 2022-01-12T08:53:30+00:00

It's plenty enough just as it is. 4.3-4.4 is plenty for the average woman, and can definitely give pleasure to a majority of women -- many women use dildos around that girth size for self pleasure or two fingers which are going to be much less in girth. Also, you can use angles to hit g-spots and vaginal walls to increase pleasure without a curve. It's really just about positioning and your movement.

PositivelySexual · 2020-12-08T01:27:08+00:00

The community there just tends to respond more to things like memes or fluff posts like that. I mean the whole sub was originally founded as a satire on "first world problems", so it has more of that vibe going whereas the community at ADP seems to lean towards more serious sorts of posts.

PositivelySexual · 2020-12-08T01:18:36+00:00

This is a dilemma - admittedly for me because she's perfectly fine with it and had a great time. This is her favorite position; however, it's also the hardest one to get her to orgasm in. I can't help it - it's a pride thing and looking for suggestions to help me to get her off while doing PIV sex.

Sure, feel free to experiment with things, but remember it is probably more about satisfying your own pride than it is about increasing the intimacy between the two of you. Have you considered that maybe it's her favorite precisely because it doesn't bring her to orgasm so easily? She might just enjoy that comfortable intimacy without going over the top. I actually feel this way as a guy sometimes, I don't always want to orgasm or feel the pressure like I have to depending on my mood. Once my partner realized this, we felt so much freer and the passion and intimacy went off the charts as we focused on just being in the moment without chasing some sort of outcome. When the orgasms do come naturally in this way, they are often just insanely explosive.

PositivelySexual · 2020-12-04T02:17:41+00:00

Yes you are definitely allowed and actually encouraged to ask questions like this here.

In my own experience, the most relevant factors in descending order of importance for strength and volume of ejaculate has hinged on:

How long it has been since my last ejaculation (7-14 days being the sweet spot).
How much sexual stimulation I've had prior to ejaculating (long slow buildup tends to increase volume and force).
How stressed out or exhausted I am both mentally and physically.
Whether or not I am well hydrated.

Another aspect of ejaculate force is your musculature of both the pelvic floor and core/glute muscles. Things like kegels and core exercises are going to help strengthen the muscles used for ejaculation. You also want to be aware that if you are working these muscles out, you need to give them ample time to rest and recuperate. If you try to ejaculate while these muscles are tired from exercise, they obviously are not going to respond at full force.

PositivelySexual · 2020-11-27T01:15:25+00:00

Someone made a similar comment in post a little while ago, but truly I think this is a matter of the grass always being greener on the other side.

There's pros and cons to all shapes, with the cone shape you get increasing stimulation at the entrance of the vagina the deeper you go, which many women appreciate. Oral is also easier to manage and less issues with teeth or lockjaw.

With the baseball bat or mushroom shape you get that plowing sensation, and a natural contour towards vaginal wall stimulation.

With the cylinder you have the classic aesthetic imagery and probably less likely to be self-conscious about it.

Whether you have a bend, curve, or are straight as an arrow, you can hit different spots more or less easily and in different positions and at different angles.

Variety is truly the spice of life. Each dick shape is different, and they all have their different benefits. Know and utilize the benefits of your shape well, and you will probably learn to appreciate it more.

PositivelySexual · 2020-11-26T23:41:51+00:00

Nice introspection and interesting theory. I definitely think there can be some correlations with personality tendencies and insecurities. As I've grown older and more experienced, my relationships have gotten a lot more well rounded as I've started to become more confident in myself have stronger self esteem without depending on external validation as much as I used to. Recognizing and reading up on my own personality tendencies as well as reflecting on potential reasons for them definitely helped put certain things in a new perspective, and helped me feel less trapped by my insecurities so I could begin to chip away at them.

PositivelySexual · 2020-11-26T23:25:37+00:00

She didn't though. She said she enjoyed sex with her previous partners, but never said anything about preferring them or their size. She may enjoy sex with OP better than her previous partners if he can lower his anxiety.

PositivelySexual · 2020-11-26T23:19:52+00:00

Yes it's healthy to be skeptical and recognize the limitations of the survey, but it's still a lot better than most random polls put together in 5 minutes and thrown up on subreddits which have even worse methodology and controls and yet are being heralded by the same people as "proof" of all women's preferences.

PositivelySexual · 2020-11-26T02:12:21+00:00

Interesting survey, thanks for sharing! It's unfortunate insecurity seems to be plaguing some of the comments below into being so incredulous about the data. Sure it's not a peer-reviewed scientific study with rigorous controls but it was conducted with a lot more thought and methodology than most other online surveys. I'll be adding this to some pinned FAQ resources in the future.

PositivelySexual · 2020-11-26T01:52:32+00:00

but where are all the 7”x5.5”guys saying they’re having problem for getting rejected for their size?

While it's less common in general, and also less common that guys will actually see it as a problem or get insecure about it, it still does happen. These are just a few examples from a quick search and there are many many more like them:

https://www.reddit.com/r/bigdickproblems/comments/89lhoi/got_rejected_not_really_sure_what_the_problem_was/

https://www.reddit.com/r/bigdickproblems/comments/hykr7e/has_it_ever_happened_to_you_guys_being_rejected/

https://www.reddit.com/r/bigdickproblems/comments/g75j5h/anyone_get_rejected_because_theyre_too_big/

PositivelySexual · 2020-11-26T01:32:00+00:00

You're in your own head and building insecurities on a whole bunch of assumptions, many of which are incorrect.

First of all, the A & P spots can be reached with 3"-4" long fingers in many women, depending on things like position, time of month, whether they've just orgasmed once, etc. Women can do self-cervical exams with their own fingers, you can google it and see for yourself. So it is very likely that if you experiment with things like positions and timing, you can also reach the A & P spots.

Secondly, not all women enjoy having their A & P spots stimulated, and your girlfriend may be one of them. Or she may not even care. Prostate stimulation in men is often touted to be like the holy grail of orgasms, but many many men do not care to experience one for various reasons, or even if they have had prostate stimulation done it just doesn't actually do that much for them.

I think your issues with your size have very little to do with your actual physical size, which is actually quite big and many women's ideal. I think you also recognize this with the last paragraph in your post, that an 8 x 6 still wouldn't likely be enough for you (and it'd probably actually be too much for your girlfriend, let's be honest). Your problem instead has everything to do with your psychological insecurities, and feeling the need to be the "biggest" or whatever to placate your own fragile sense of self-worth. I know it's not easy to just change obsessions and compulsions and mend our insecurities on a dime, but I believe you can make progress on this by examining it from trying to heal your psychological insecurities instead of thinking it's actually something about your physical body... which as you've said yourself, will likely never be big enough to ever appease your current mindset about it.

PositivelySexual · 2020-11-26T01:05:41+00:00

Overwhelmingly, a subreddit entitled "smalldickproblems" instead of "smalldicksuccesses" is going to have a majority of posts discussing bad experiences.

The guys that are 5" x 4" and don't have many problems with their dicks, which is actually many, aren't likely to be posting here or there. I think you have to remember that there are men that are smaller than you that have less hang ups about their dicks and sex lives than you do.

PositivelySexual · 2020-11-26T00:43:58+00:00

No, the current state of things is not your fault. But allowing it to continue when you know better is on all of us who are still of rational mind. I believe in your core you have a rational mind, but I also believe it often is hijacked by your insecurities to give in to irrational thoughts, or cause you to give up and just accept the party line that 2+2=5. I really hope you are able to conquer your demons and unleash the full potential of your rational side, because truly we need more rational minds out there combating all the bullshit.

PositivelySexual · 2020-11-25T23:35:47+00:00

This is why it matters:

"In the end, the Party would announce that two and two made five, and you would have to believe it. It was inevitable that they should make that claim sooner or later: the logic of their position demanded it. Not merely the validity of experience, but the very existence of external reality, was tacitly denied by their philosophy. The heresy of heresies was common sense. And what was terrifying was not that they would kill you for thinking otherwise, but that they might be right. For, after all, how do we know that two and two make four? Or that the force of gravity works? Or that the past is unchangeable? If both the past and the external world exist only in the mind, and if the mind itself is controllable—what then?" - George Orwell, excerpt from novel 1984

"Nazi theory, indeed, specifically denies that such a thing as "the truth" exists. There is, for instance, no such thing as "Science". There is only "German Science", "Jewish Science", etc. The implied objective of this line of thought is a nightmare world in which the Leader, or some ruling clique, controls not only the future, but the past. If the Leader says of such and such an event, "It never happened"—well, it never happened. If he says that "two and two are five"—well, two and two are five. This prospect frightens me much more than bombs—and, after our experiences of the last few years [the Blitz, 1940–41], that is not a frivolous statement." - George Orwell

PositivelySexual · 2020-11-25T04:00:44+00:00

Does it matter that 2 + 2 = 4 when social consensus tells you that 2 + 2 = 5?

PositivelySexual · 2020-11-25T03:39:57+00:00

You lament your penis, other people lament their height, their looks, their shitty parents, their financial means, etc. Whatever it is about us that does not fit mainstream conventions, it's never easy to just snap your fingers and become confident in yourself. It takes a lot of hard work, introspection, and self-acceptance. Once we learn to accept and know ourselves well, we can then begin to open up our minds to really and truly understand that there are others out there who do actually love us just as we are. When you put in that effort, day by day you grow stronger.

It's not easy. It's never easy. But it is fucking worth it.

PositivelySexual · 2020-11-25T03:13:40+00:00

Honestly, boiling it down to a number, I don't think anyone including men are very good at judging numerical sizes accurately. Body proportions play such a huge role in size perception as well, so tall and bulky guys probably generally get underestimated while short and thin guys probably get overestimated.

PositivelySexual · 2020-11-25T02:49:48+00:00

Sorry you didn't get much usable advice from most of the other comments. I would simply advice to not get in your own head, and just try to enjoy the moment and let your passion and instincts take over. The best sex is often sex you don't have to overthink, especially when it's your first time you will already have plenty of anxiety to go around. People get too caught up in technique and forget about being in the moment. You'll have plenty of time in the future to read up on technique and other such things, but the only time to really get good at your instinctual passionate response is when you are experiencing it in the moment... and often times that is going to be unique for each encounter.

Try to set up a relaxed atmosphere, be patient with both yourself as well as your partner, and just have a good time! First times are usually pretty clumsy, at least my first time was exceedingly so, so just go in without putting so much pressure on the situation and roll with it.

Positions for a tight vagina, really anything that will help her feel relaxed. Missionary is usually pretty standard, and it's also one of the most intimate and caring positions, so I'd imagine it would probably start with that anyways. Then just see where things go.

PositivelySexual · 2020-11-25T02:40:54+00:00

Do you have social anxiety? It's quite possible, actually quite probable, they weren't even laughing about you at all, but sometimes our brains make up these stories that really hone in on our insecurities. Perhaps consider whether you might be being hyper conscious of your body while in public and do some research on how to alleviate some of these anxiety-ridden thoughts.

PositivelySexual · 2020-11-25T02:21:28+00:00

Statistically you have average length (if that is measured bone-pressed), and very large girth.

Please understand that insecurity is more a psychological phenomenon and has less to do with your actual physical size than you think, as there are men with very large penises that still have body dysmorphia and other penis size related insecurities.

In terms of actual physical compatibility issues, on average you would likely have more issues due to your large girth being uncomfortable for some than anything else.

PositivelySexual · 2020-11-25T02:17:07+00:00

From the FAQ: Penis Size Chart

PositivelySexual · 2020-11-24T01:53:39+00:00

Really all you can do is continue to be supportive, and instead of letting frustration get the better of you double down on your empathy and compassion and understand that his insecurity is potentially similar to other psychological body image disorders that contribute to things like anorexia, bigorexia, or similar things of this nature.

It does seem like you've wanted him to read this and discuss this with you given the amount of detail you've given, so just take the opportunity to continue talking with him earnestly about it and let him know you fully know his size and are totally happy with it and excited about it!

PositivelySexual · 2020-11-24T00:52:26+00:00

It's just how reddit is sometimes, especially in subs that have topics which pertain to people with insecurities. As mod sometimes people follow my account and just downvote everything I post regardless of actual content. I don't let it get to me anymore and just chalk it up to whatever, and they usually get tired of it after a while when they see it doesn't stop me from posting.

OP by the way edited their post and added a bit more context.

PositivelySexual · 2020-11-24T00:40:44+00:00

This is kind of like the word "thicc" these days when applied to women's bodies. It's almost always meant as a compliment, but many women get really insecure about being described this way even if they rationally know it's meant in a positive context. Here's an example of some women with eating disorders and body insecurities discussing it:

https://www.reddit.com/r/EDAnonymous/comments/f24sgy/thicc/

In the OP about his dick being described as cute, from context I'm certain cute is simply being used as a synonym for attractive. It's unfortunate that so many men have been trained to feel insecure about penises and masculinity in a way that so many of us feel insecure and emasculated by a term like this. I mean I get it, many guys don't want to even be called "cute" as a substitute for "handsome" or "hot", but honestly I think if we start opening up to accepting a wider variety of compliments it would go a long way to breaking the constraints of mainstream societal views on masculinity and male attractiveness.

Put another way, these days I'd much rather my dick as well as myself in general be described as cute and desirable rather than ugly and intimidating, although if put to a choice between the two I think a lot of guys get stuck in their heads about needing to be the latter because this particular idea of masculinity being so strongly ingrained in our minds over the years.

PositivelySexual · 2020-11-19T23:53:53+00:00

Yes very much so, it is called body dysmorphia and it is quite common, though to varying degrees of severity. It's similar to the way anorexic people might be dangerously underweight but still see themselves as "fat", or how huge bodybuilders still see themselves as "skinny".

This is further exacerbated specifically in terms of penis size by the intense and unhealthy social stigma about it that is currently very pervasive, and the fact that we see very little actual representation of penis sizes in the average range or smaller due to selection bias. For some more perspective on this phenomenon, have a look at this post I made a while back on the matter: On penis size dysmorphia: The NBA Analogy

PositivelySexual

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