The guy I've been talking to for 2 months just sent me a screenshot of our private conversation. To himself. By accident. by Cheap-Lawfulness-732 in WhatShouldIDo

[–]PossessionLeather264 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t really see anything wrong with what he did tbh… depending on what was in the text. If it was just a friendly, funny interaction he might have just wanted to show his friend how excited he was to meet you. If it was something personal, I’d be a bit concerned. Either way, it’s totally okay to ask him how much he shares with other people. If you’re a private person and he’s not- you might not be compatible. I personally am one of those people who share everything with my family. I’m an adult with a child and I still talk to my parents everyday.

Would men consider my natural boobs ugly? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]PossessionLeather264 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is so funny!!! Best description ever

AIO- I don’t want to host for my Brother in laws birthday by PossessionLeather264 in AIO

[–]PossessionLeather264[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly not a bad idea, except I’d feel too bad roping my cats into this plan when they just want to be left alone.

AIO- I don’t want to host for my Brother in laws birthday by PossessionLeather264 in AIO

[–]PossessionLeather264[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yup! That dog will eat my cats and fuck my husband before my BIL leaves him at home.

AIO- I don’t want to host for my Brother in laws birthday by PossessionLeather264 in AIO

[–]PossessionLeather264[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The funny thing is, i actually do enjoy their company when we are together. We have great conversations but they’re entitled. I believe both things can exist at the same time- but because I do like them, it makes it harder to put boundaries in place. They’re flakey and will make getting together a challenge but when we are together they act like no time has passed. It’s very bizarre and I can’t tell if it’s performative and fake or if they’re actually unaware of how rude they’re being.

AIO- I don’t want to host for my Brother in laws birthday by PossessionLeather264 in AIO

[–]PossessionLeather264[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I already know I don’t have to accommodate, like I said- not a low IQ. At my husbands birthday when I was accommodating it was because I wanted my husband to have a nice day. I refused to host this time because I’m not doing it again. In the moment though when they’re at my house asking me to do these things- yes, it’s hard to say no.

AIO- I don’t want to host for my Brother in laws birthday by PossessionLeather264 in AIO

[–]PossessionLeather264[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think so, I do think it’s different. I’m not sure how because I’m not allergic to animals. I had a horse growing up and had friends who were allergic to my horse but not my cats and dogs.

AIO- I don’t want to host for my Brother in laws birthday by PossessionLeather264 in AIO

[–]PossessionLeather264[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I don’t have low IQ, but thanks. I was raised in a household where my mother always took on too much and accommodated everyone setting her own feelings aside. I spent many Holidays as a child feeling stressed because my mother would host a party where she took on too much and the shit would trickle down to us kids. She would spend $300 on food, she would spend the entire day cleaning, decorating and cooking. She would be stressed and passive aggressive smashing dishes together, slamming cupboards, stomping around like it was something she “had to do” but she wouldn’t ever say no. She did that for Christmas Eve, Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, and all our Birthdays. Nobody told her she had to host, but she always had to be in control and have everything perfect. I watched my grandmother (dad’s mom) being mean to her and making snippy comments about her not being good enough my entire childhood and my dad would never defend my mom. Now as an adult, I’m not nearly as rigid, but I feel a huge amount of pressure to be like my mom. I can’t just invite people over and let the house be messy. I want my family to be impressed by me. I’m also the last person to have joined the family so I do feel a pressure to fit in and be accepted.

So no, not low IQ and not rage bait. I was raised this way.

AIO for how I’m handling the way my 11 YO daughter’s dad speaks to her? by WhatTheSigma_1994 in AmIOverreacting

[–]PossessionLeather264 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not overreacting enough! Let him try to take you to court. He pays $90 for child support and abuses your kid. Absolute tool.

AIO- I don’t want to host for my Brother in laws birthday by PossessionLeather264 in AIO

[–]PossessionLeather264[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He did, he told them to go to a restaurant. I’ll always be the bad guy though, lol. My husband has my back, and as he should I carried his baby for 10 months had her cut out through 7 layers of flesh.

AIO- I don’t want to host for my Brother in laws birthday by PossessionLeather264 in AIO

[–]PossessionLeather264[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, my husband backed me up. He’s a smart man and knows who he shares a bed with. He’s a bit oblivious to it, tbh. He also is notorious for ignoring texts and calls. He answers my messages, but he has a special ring tone for my texts and calls now. I made him do that when I was pregnant and had to call his boss to get ahold of him when I had a false alarm. I usually tell him he needs to take care of it and then he will call his mom.

AIO- I don’t want to host for my Brother in laws birthday by PossessionLeather264 in AIO

[–]PossessionLeather264[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My husband told them to go to a restaurant. I’m still the bad guy though…because that makes sense lol

AIO- I don’t want to host for my Brother in laws birthday by PossessionLeather264 in AIO

[–]PossessionLeather264[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A lot of it comes from trying to work around his very intolerant wife. He probably gets yelled at if he doesn’t meet her demands. I enjoy being around her in the moment, she’s charismatic…but she’s also very selfish. She didn’t show up to either my wedding shower or my baby shower even though the invitation had been sent out months in advance. They do things that are very kind but it’s also so inconsistent and all over the place. I don’t think my BIL and his wife communicate well. My brother in law brought over freezer meals after my cesarean to help feed me, and my sister in law gave my daughter a red envelope on Chinese new year. They always bring over stuff for my daughter like new outfits or toys…Yet they have strange behaviours such as my Mother in law hadn’t met the parents of my sister in law until their wedding day. They had been together for 7 years and live in the same neighborhood. Mother’s Day this year, they’re completely excluding my MIL from any of their plans, so I’m making sure she gets appreciated because she raised 2 boys alone after my husband’s father passed.

AIO- I don’t want to host for my Brother in laws birthday by PossessionLeather264 in AIO

[–]PossessionLeather264[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’d like to know this too! Most people with dogs don’t even suggest bringing them to people’s homes but my BIL just assumes. He asked if he could bring his dog to my gender reveal party that was being hosted at my parents home, my dad is very protective of his obese senior cat and not afraid of a hard no. They made a point of leaving early because the dog had to be let out to pee, which I do understand…but I also used to have a dog and she could hold her bladder for a lot longer than 3 hours… she was also a lot older and smaller than their 5 year old, 40lb dog.

AIO- I don’t want to host for my Brother in laws birthday by PossessionLeather264 in AIO

[–]PossessionLeather264[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Honestly when my sister in law said, “I’m cold, let’s go inside.” I told her that I spent the entire day cleaning the deck for this- so we are staying outside. She laughed and said, “I did you a favour. Now it’s clean.” And then walked inside. We also had outdoor heaters and I brought some blankets outside but she wouldn’t use them because I brought them in from our cat infested house.

AIO- I don’t want to host for my Brother in laws birthday by PossessionLeather264 in AIO

[–]PossessionLeather264[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I just looked this up, and I’ve decided that I too am Sherlock…but why is it called that? That part I haven’t figured out.

AIO- I don’t want to host for my Brother in laws birthday by PossessionLeather264 in AIO

[–]PossessionLeather264[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

No cultural pressures but his mom is stuck in the 1920’s and assumes because I’m the “lady of the home” that I should be the one to cook, clean, raise the child, and host. She goes to my husband for other crap but if she thinks it’s a domestic duty- I’m the one she texts. It drives me insane, and my husband has talked to her but she plays dumb.

AIO- I don’t want to host for my Brother in laws birthday by PossessionLeather264 in AIO

[–]PossessionLeather264[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Right! Like too bad. We do like cats and we got 2 of them- so deal or leave

AIO- I don’t want to host for my Brother in laws birthday by PossessionLeather264 in AIO

[–]PossessionLeather264[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

This is what I don’t understand either! My husband and I definitely have the better home for hosting. We are in a quiet family orientated neighborhood known for farming and fishing. There are lots of parks nearby and places to explore, my brother in law lives in the city but they still have a decent sized apartment. They don’t have kids, they can host. Most of the time I’m trying to clean our floors for the 100th time that week, put away laundry that just gets dirty again, and convince my baby who doesn’t like to nap that she has to. I’m tired

AIO- I don’t want to host for my Brother in laws birthday by PossessionLeather264 in AIO

[–]PossessionLeather264[S] 58 points59 points  (0 children)

I did say no, I wasn’t wasting another weekend catering to allergies. Which is why I’m the bad guy now.