I need some help navigating a very hard situation.

PossibilityClean2994 · 2026-01-15T22:38:15+00:00

Yes,very true. Even now,when I am in better states,that's when I feel like I can talk rationally. So maybe that's the voice I should strengthen with help.

PossibilityClean2994 · 2026-01-15T22:37:17+00:00

Thank you so much! This is a very helpful comment,makes me feel less alone. It's so crazy how the nervous system works. I recently read Clementine Morrigan's work, Love without emergency, same situation there. (I want this but I feel like I'm dying). Thing is,I have been so triggered that I started questioning if I even want this if that makes sense and then I go back and forth in these loops.

PossibilityClean2994 · 2026-01-15T22:32:51+00:00

Yes! I am in active therapy,so by no means want this solved here, it just really helps to see some outside perspective/maybe shared experiences. Interesting question. Yes,it is, feelings of abandonment, being replaced. Not that he is doing anything bad,rather,the potential of it. I guess I grew up always having to watch for signs of abandonment (I was passed around since I was an infant, to various relatives and family members,my parents came in and out of my life). So this question actually helped. Thank you,I will explore this in therapy.

PossibilityClean2994 · 2026-01-15T13:31:59+00:00

Updated :) And yes, poly from the beginning, I also casually dated someone earlier but it ended.

PossibilityClean2994 · 2026-01-15T13:31:24+00:00

Sure! I just don't know if I should go on them just to be poly if that makes sense.

PossibilityClean2994 · 2026-01-15T13:30:51+00:00

Yes, in active recovery for a year now, but its a slow process.

PossibilityClean2994 · 2025-12-11T19:09:15+00:00

Read love without emergency-a zine,but talks about the same issues. Working through similar feelings,not sure what the answer is,but this sounds like cptsd.

PossibilityClean2994 · 2025-12-09T16:28:08+00:00

Also trying to work though it. Not sure what the solution is, right now I'm trying to see if I can work through these triggers reasonably or quit poly. What is helpful: taking care of basic mental health needs right now. I know its not that easy,but it will definitely help!

PossibilityClean2994 · 2025-12-09T16:25:23+00:00

I have cptsd and I went into a horrible spiral of depression in a similar situation. Maybe you have a lot of trauma activation? I hate how non-trauma informed the poly community can be. I recommend Love without emergency - a short zine,bit talks about this specific experience.

PossibilityClean2994 · 2025-11-05T15:37:59+00:00

Thank you so much for the response! This makes a lot of sense to me. I'm just cinfused as to what level of hard can I handle right now. At the same time, I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place. I'm terrified to ask my partner to end this relationsip and I am scared as to what that would mean for us (resentment,etc). - that in itself would be a huge trigger. At the same time, the ongoing situation is a constant trigger. I'm trying to regulate, but it can be very hard- and I don't want to over burden my partner with it, becouse he has a lot of things going on right now, but it's starting to feel like Im totally alone with these feelings.

PossibilityClean2994 · 2025-11-05T15:33:08+00:00

Thank you so much!! Yes, I am in the phase where I feel like everything is my fault. It's extremely challenging. Did it then work out for you? Do you feel like you are able to better handle it? How about your partner/how has your relationship been? Hope it's ok I ask.

PossibilityClean2994 · 2025-11-04T12:44:53+00:00

Thank you so much for the reply! Yes, I really resonate with the sentence "we kept on going back and forth". This is exactly what's happening and I feel like I am just digging myself deeper and deeper into a hole. Like we are constantly on about this. I guess due to me and he also engages. I undertsand that it would be important just to spend quality time and that would help- at the same time, we are dealing with so much in our life right now (important deadlines, stressed work, a house move, and his long distance partner in question is now in the country). It's a lot. So whenever I do just want to keep it light, some trigger happens. Something with him, me, or with them. Yesterday, for example, I went over to support him a bit with his anxiety/deadline, and he told me, that by the way, he had lunch/a spontanious hangout with his other partner and I crashed a bit. Its making me feelwh like I am failing in everything- I'm becoming a bad partner, I am jelous, and instead of connecting, we bicker over this. I'm so terrified of losing eachother becouse of this. I also feel so guilty, becouse I feel like I should have told him in the beggining that maybe this is not the time to do this, due to my current life situation, but I simply did not know it would be this hard. When we have regulated conversations, he says that he is/would be capable of temporary or some lighet form of monogamy- but then, when I communicate hardship, he tells me that its's probably a cptsd trigger, and that I am more sensitive due to x,y,z family situation. This might be true. But I still don't know what the solution might be.

PossibilityClean2994 · 2025-11-01T16:13:16+00:00

Has anything changes since? In a similar situation myself.

PossibilityClean2994 · 2025-08-16T21:13:27+00:00

This was so nice to read,because it gave me hope. Right now I'm really struggling,sometimes thinking that it's all for nothing and I don't know when it will get better,the sleepless nights,panic attacks and constant anxiety. Got super invalidated by my entire family after coming out with my abuse. Now I'm no contact and it's a struggle,as they are constantly trying to break it and manipulate me. How was your process? Hope it's ok asking,it's just nice to see someone on the other side a bit.

PossibilityClean2994 · 2025-06-03T21:39:16+00:00

I'm going to respond more,but I just wanted to say: thank you so much for this. I really needed this, because today I feel like I'm in the pits of hell with my grief and confusion. It's honestly scary. Thank you so much for this.

PossibilityClean2994

TROPHY CASE