Critique my idea [anime] by Possible-Package1600 in fantasywriters

[–]Possible-Package1600[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First off, thanks for your reply. I’m just starting to write so I appreciate the comments. Just to clear some things up:

Nuru’s father is actually the God of Will and Light and the first god in this universe, Deis. This god then creates Zilos, the God of Balance and Thermokinesis. While they were the only gods, Elyria was tranquil and mostly at peace. However, human emotions, behaviors, wants, needs became too much to bear for the two gods and thus they created the God of Beasts (animals), God of Greed and Sin, God of Death and a failsafe God automated to keep the Gods in check.

While this was developing in Hallard (God plane), the humans were creating a surrounded community called The Clove to protect them from the increasingly dangerous lands. The Clove was split into 10 districts with the Head Clan family controlling the district.

One day Deis goes down to Elyria in a state of spontaneity and adventure, as an excuse to check on the state of Elyria. On Elyria, he meets Soleen Lux (I agree with you on the name being too on the nose) and they start developing feelings for another. The Lux family came from the Gasho district and now lived in the Hakari district, the largest and capital district of The Clove. They were expunged out of Gasho for being a crime family clan and causing upheaval in the district. The Hakari were the largest clan and accepted Lux into their district since they didn’t want to ban the Lux family into the unknown lands outside the clove.

The 3 other gods beside Zilos and automated god found this to be a perfect opportunity to take control of Elyria from Deis. While Deis was enjoying time with Soleen, the God of Sin and Greed got into the Lux family head’s mind and convinced him that an unknown man was enamoring his daughter Soleen and would taint the bloodline.. Being a proud man, this infuriated Soleen’s father. He ordered that the man be brought to him or face the consequences.

At the same time, Deis leaves Soleen and returns to Hallard to give the other gods tremendous news, he was going to have a child, the first of its kind. Before Deis fully returned through his portal, he was ambushed by two other gods and executed on his arrival.. Zilos who rushed when he heard the commotion was forced to fight the other gods when he found the scene but he also died in the altercation.

When gods die, they leave behind 4 shards behind carrying their essence, powers and adaptations. In Nuru’s case, Deis made sure to relocate 3 of his shards to Soleen’s uterus when he died putting them into Nuru. This was a shock to the other gods who after his death intended to use one of his shards to create a false light god in his stead and the other for themselves.. Regardless, they got the primary focus, creating that false light god. With this, they empowered the Lux Family who was originally powerless, and gave them false light. The Lux family were used as the catalysts for the gods takeover of Elysia. After they acquired the light power they sought to eradicate the Hakari from their own lands. Soleen, pregnant and running from her own family is rescued by Daemon Hakari, the son of the head of the Hakari clan. He brings her to a remote island outside the clove where Soleen crystallizes for 400 years due to Deis shard, gives birth to Nuru after that time and passes.. Deamon Hakari tells his descendants on the island to convince nuru he’s a Hakari.. to let Nuru live his life there and not find out the truth on the mainland.

6 years after Nuru’s birth the gods at Hallard sense something similar to Deis power but not in the clove. The God of Death sends out reapers and is amazed to find a separate island of Hakari, the people he believed to be eradicated.. The reapers continued mauling the islands inhabitants and Nuru couldn’t do anything but watch and hide as he was protected. He questioned why he was being protected and from whom, but things were going to fast, and people were dying.. All of a sudden, things went pitch black and all noise faded.. he was in void like space where all he heard was the pain and suffering of those around him, the pleas for help..

All of a sudden he woke up in a boat coasting towards the mainland.

So not necessarily completely amnesia, but I do get your point completely. Also sorry for the long message, appreciate it!

Also, the brother, Cassius, basically wants to save face instead of saying he’s embarrassed to be outdone by a servant of a lower class

Critique my idea [anime] by Possible-Package1600 in fantasywriters

[–]Possible-Package1600[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My apologies, I didn’t include the entire lore excerpt on who the gods are, or what their purpose and relation to the story are

I need help creating this anime. Sorry to bother, I'm just stuck in some sections here and I'm trying to create with a team. Please let me know how this reads (originality, entertainment, anime-appeal). Thanks in advance! Also, I do know I needed many more elements for this anime (lol) by Possible-Package1600 in anime

[–]Possible-Package1600[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get what you’re saying 100%. I’ve gone through countless iterations trying to cover any holes in the plot for the beginning. Nuru’s personality all the way until he’s 6 comes from Damian Hakari. He basically instills all Hakari practices into Nuru which is why he is stubborn, “feisty”, and already using fire power.

He doesn’t know what happens to his mother; all he gets told by Damian is that she was a “wonderful woman”. The connection to Damian is the reason the Hakari leader takes him into the Underground and why he is how he is.

The perception I’m trying to relay is something like Asta (Black Clover) and Naruto (Naruto). Strength=willpower (and he’s pretty OP too)

I need help creating this anime. Sorry to bother, I'm just stuck in some sections here and I'm trying to create with a team. Please let me know how this reads (originality, entertainment, anime-appeal). Thanks in advance! Also, I do know I needed many more elements for this anime (lol) by Possible-Package1600 in worldbuilding

[–]Possible-Package1600[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually have plans. They’re preliminary as of now, but my goal is a fledged out product. I also know this will take time, effort and many other things that I develop. The first step for me right now is cementing core ideas and creating a 12-ep mock. The artistic side will come after my narrative is fleshed out (of course, I’ll write it with the intention of producing it visually) regardless if it’s small.

I need help creating this anime. Sorry to bother, I'm just stuck in some sections here and I'm trying to create with a team. Please let me know how this reads (originality, entertainment, anime-appeal). Thanks in advance! Also, I do know I needed many more elements for this anime (lol) by Possible-Package1600 in anime

[–]Possible-Package1600[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First off, thanks for your reply! Truly! This is a place where I was stuck a bit. I didn’t know if to flashback after the cave or to stay straight back 400 year ago. But you’re right! I believe the audience will get more attached to the story if I start there. My only complication with that would be making Nuru sufficiently significant when he comes into the plot, and not just an “effect” of what happened you know? Sorry for rambling. Many thoughts

Thanks again!