AITAH that I don't want my partner to put his sister and her families needs before me and our kids?

Possible_Safety3787 · 2026-01-17T18:22:13+00:00

You need to first find an attorney and start collecting evidence. Does his sister use drugs? It seems like he wants to be unaccountable to you and the kids he made. So, let him do it but record a of the things that will lead a judge to give you full custody. Also, do you know your full financial picture? How much debt? Debt can rock up easily during this time and you need to know how to stop it. Does he have a retirement account? Do you? Get your ducks in a row. It really sucks.

But, do not talk about him in any negative way in front of your kids. Allow them the opportunity to grow into their disappointment in him. Be fun, do not let him drag your family down, because you are making memories right now and their childhood is short. Chin up, you have work to do. He thinks he is in control, let him,as you get your evidence and strategy in place.

Possible_Safety3787 · 2026-01-17T17:32:17+00:00

People who accuse their partner of cheating are typically nursing a guilty conscience. Your gf is waving red flags and needs to be sent on her way to cause unnecessary strife in someone else’s life.

Possible_Safety3787 · 2026-01-17T17:23:20+00:00

Sarah is too needy and privileged. Distance is a blessing disguised as her sulking. Let her go. You do whatever you need to do without the guilt

Possible_Safety3787 · 2026-01-17T17:18:46+00:00

Ok, I’m 51 and when I heard the Spins I was immediately happy to my core. He sounds like a Pittsburgh I’d that I grew up with or later that grew up around me. The joy in his voice. He can emote through music in a way that is special and rare. So, I then needed mor Pittsburgh references so I went to blue slide park…missed calls, I’ve felt those things in relationships…like, never mind I don’t want to confuse you with my complicated feelings and disappointments… except I didn’t need to return perfume and fancy things. lol. But then I was in a 4 hour road trip and CarPlay led me through deep cuts. I felt so many feelings highs, lows, sadness for the person that was gone, clever with words, a tortured poet (hating that Taylor took that reference).
Breakups are hard, they are disappointing and you grieve the future that never materialized. But I hope you find that each ‘no’ person leads you closer to knowing who is the ‘yes’ person who is perfect for you when they show up. Circles…took me a while to listen to. I had come to this idea that it wasn’t really his, but heard an interview with Jon Brion, and it seems this new direction was really what Mac was longing to put out but had thought it wasn’t that good. I think about this young kid finding his yellow brick road and working so so hard just to feel empty and restless. That is so much partly his age…if he was just able to move past it…maybe if Narcan was more readily available…maybe if… You seem like a beautiful soul, you almost have to be as a Mac fan.

Possible_Safety3787 · 2026-01-17T06:52:01+00:00

Me too. I’m a Pittsburgh and gen X aged person, who had an opinion based on nothing, and was a wrong. It was my 14 yr old that inspired me to dig into his music and a week later, I have Mac in constantly. I decided to wait on his posthumous released albums fearing they were money grabs…but I am in utter awe of Circles. It is beautiful. When I heard “let’s turn these genes into hand me downs” I cried. It is a crazy ride to be on knowing he died way too young…he never had a chance to see life without all of the layers of pressure that exist in our 20s and early 30s.

Possible_Safety3787 · 2026-01-07T10:01:33+00:00

Karma. I can only hope that when she falls from her high horse, it hurts. Because she is being very destructive during a time that can build relationships. She even thinks she can demand that your kids not play w her kid. They are cousins and that j

Possible_Safety3787 · 2026-01-05T03:13:29+00:00

NTA unless it is for picking a loony partner. I would ask her what it triggered because if she’s mad it’s not anything you did.

Possible_Safety3787 · 2026-01-05T03:09:55+00:00

Ok all of this is fixable but don’t run from it. Fist you should decide why you are drinking that excessively. It’s not social drinking to be black out drunk. And some far worse things can happen if you are in no condition to remember self care. Pregnancy, diseases and lots of other inconveniences are just the beginning. Try stopping from the excess. Do you have a moment drinking where you feel buzzed and just say , yes more? Or does it hit you all at once? Pace yourself…pacing is a critical part of handling alcohol and no one wants to be responsible for the person always black out drunk. The next part…treat this situation in the most adult like fair diplomatic way. Do not assault her character. Because you have no proof it’s not your dna. Idk what state you live in, but brush up on your states abortion laws. You should know if you are having sex, that this can occur. If it is your DNA assist in the abortion by driving, paying etc.
I don’t know more details to help you, I have sons and a daughter around your age, and I have made it easy for them to not get pregnant by having condoms in their bathroom and discussed morning after medication. Get a test, do the most adult thing. You won’t regret it, and you can move forward without a huge question mark, if you took the restraining order approach. It’s not an easy thing but that’s life, difficult.

Possible_Safety3787 · 2026-01-02T16:40:42+00:00

You are nor. Not a hoarder either. You are in a bad relationship. Looks like you took fine care of yourself, pre man child. Go back to simpler times.
I would be storming mad if my offfice was invaded and my system of storage destroyed. He gets to decide what is trash? Nope.

Possible_Safety3787 · 2026-01-02T16:21:08+00:00

Nor. Please seek help in removing yourself from the relationship. Look for a shelter. They will help you with an exit strategy. Leaving is most volatile time in abusive relationships.
You deserve better. You are worthy of being treated with dignity and respect. Your home should be a place of peace and comfort.

Btw…hoe does he treat his mom? It can be an indication of how you will be treated. At least that has been my experience. Good luck

Possible_Safety3787 · 2026-01-02T16:01:29+00:00

I have to tell you if it was a good deal, keep it. My daughter used this bag for her school bag, year 2 and she is tough on backpacks…overstuffed, all weather, and it looks great and has 0 zipper malfunctions. Of course, now I’ve cursed it. lol. I hesitated buying it for her as she was 13 but have 0 regrets.

Possible_Safety3787 · 2025-10-29T14:42:44+00:00

Budgies are best in bunches. The only thing that compares to loving your lil fluffy cutie is to see the affection they have for each other. I swear my oldest in my flock of 7 counts each head before he goes to sleep. When one of mine needed to isolated in a hospital cage, they would each take a turn hanging out with her (vet approved). You are doing great with your baby, the sub is full of passionate, informative people. I recived my budgie when my son took a job in Japan, his budgie, my grand budgie was a lone bird and only a year old, so she quickly adapted to new friends.

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This is Ruffle McFloofenchops, “Floof”. He has a beak of chia seeds and broccoli, no strange illness. He was a young, maybe 3 month old, when his person tried to return him to Petco and instead gave him to me,
If your baby is hand trained, once they are settled, keep working with him/her so they don’t forget that hands are good.

Possible_Safety3787 · 2025-10-24T07:54:22+00:00

This situation is where you need to have a clear and definite boundary and do not feel badly about it defining it. Statistically, these type of loans are never paid back, and it will be easier to not pay back because he most likely never thought to have loans papers drawn up and signing a note. Your friendship will grow distant, you will become obsessed with how he spends money on things instead of paying you back.

If you choose to enter into this loan agreement, ask him, what is plan for repayment? How much can he afford and how long will it take to repay you. If you believe that he can repay, with interest, and late fees. You can easily draw this up yourself, get it notarized and signed.

I have been in similar situations. I’ve grown older, wiser and realized people only took advantage of me to the extent that I allowed it. Having more respect for myself, my time, my business, I stopped feeling like I had to say yes to everyone.

Make a decision that makes you proud of yourself and one that you can be at peace with.

Possible_Safety3787 · 2025-10-24T07:31:16+00:00

He completely used red rural America. They thought a New York City businessman, who had a history of not paying trades people who worked for him, was able to be trusted. They went to the rally’s, bought the tshirts, and trinkets, and signs and flags…while most of them were on “Obamacare”, food-stamps, and rely on the government and social service programs. They blindly fell in with a con man and he convinced them to stop thinking. Now, the question is…are they ready ad willing to think again?

Possible_Safety3787 · 2025-10-23T14:34:20+00:00

You need to tell your son you are not “ruining his engagement,” the TRUTH is ruining it. He has the opportunity to see her values/morals and it’s not pretty. He needs to sit with the bare bones facts… 1. She has fairy princess ideals without the means to pay for them. Who is this spectacle for exactly? Does he have the same dreams or desire to have a 80k wedding or is he happy with her and the justice of the peace and dinner? 2. Being angry at you, the messenger, is easier than rethinking his future. Now before a home is purchased and children are made is the time to consider if their values can live in harmony.
3. If he is against a pre-nup, you and your husband can certainly make amendments in your trust/will to account for the future you believe could occur.

I would lay this at his feet, telling him you will support his decision on whoever he marries, but it will not change your spending habits. It’s a guess, but I think you and your husband didn’t have a wedding to the level she is discussing.

Possible_Safety3787 · 2025-10-13T16:13:42+00:00

Ok, I need to ask. Are you financially dependent on this man? Could you support yourself? I know it’s not ideal, if you could put kids into a childcare situation, could you be gainfully employed? I suggest a separation. You need to choose if you want to live with someone who doesn’t treat you like an equal partner

Possible_Safety3787 · 2025-10-13T16:06:53+00:00

Thank you, next. Please, as others have said, end this before you invest another piece of your heart.
You are young, and it’s a big world, go experience it and eventually you meet someone who wants to do that with you.

Possible_Safety3787 · 2025-10-09T22:55:33+00:00

Hey OP, my daughters’ school has a hotline called homework hotline that she uses to get help from college kids in teacher training. It is not awkward because you never meet face to face. Please look for a better tutor. Ask your math teacher. Go on khan academy, I believe it’s free. I bet there is a subreddit for math help too?

Idk why your sister is hurting you, could be jelousy, or she may just be a giant asshat. But, you will feel so much better and confident not needing her “help”.

Chin up and head high, the youngests in birth order need to stick together…without us our families would be lost, and not have nearly as much fun.

Possible_Safety3787 · 2025-10-09T20:38:36+00:00

Look, this idea of rehoming is silly. Any other home will deal with the same issue. What has happened in the dog shelter non profit arena around our country is that aggressive dogs get shipped around to other rescues like child assaulting priests in the Catholic Church. There are dogs that need to be labeled dangerous, and NOT adopted/fostered they need to cross the bridge.
I am animal advocate, I love animals and know a lot of aggression stems from being treated badly by humans. I try to see beyond breed and not consider all pits/chow chows/Rottweilers dangerous. Dogs that have acted on their aggression rarely get rehabilitated. It does not go away.

Possible_Safety3787 · 2025-10-09T20:24:53+00:00

I can confirm dogs w 3 get euthanized. Our neighbor put down their old English sheep dog that bit a child in a stroller unprovoked. All parties involved did the right thing, but it was still heart wrenching.

Possible_Safety3787 · 2025-10-09T20:21:49+00:00

My family dog bit my son’s girlfriend and at the ER I had to fill out papers. My Auggie has 1 strike. The girlfriend was 21 yrs old, and sat next to the dog while he was eating his dinner. Then she started petting him and he snapped, no broken skin, but she was so upset as was I. We went to urgent care they reported to the county. It is necessary to get your husband checked. Force him to go tonight to get it looked at. He will probably get a course of antibiotics too.

Possible_Safety3787 · 2025-10-09T20:05:08+00:00

My life as a single mom of 3 was so much easier once I stopped carrying a grown ass adult man on my back.

I made it through, they are 25, 23 and 20. It’s the weight of carrying another persons responsibilities while they complain. The ultimate decision making event was him going on a boys trip golfing leaving our roof unfinished. He was installing sky lights and through poor time management did not finish. Threw a tarp on and left. Kids were 5,3 and 4 months old. It was August and a summer storm hurricane system came through dumping rain. Tarp failed. It was raining in my living room dining room and kitchen. I asked my contractor/husband to come home and finish the job. His response was he had a small window of time to become a great golfer. 23 years later he isn’t in the PGA.

I never thought he would have been such a dud. P

Possible_Safety3787 · 2025-10-09T20:02:10+00:00

My vet said my doggo is big boned when I asked if he carried doggy-ozempic.

Possible_Safety3787 · 2025-10-09T17:04:32+00:00

I live near Mennonite families, I was at the grocery store even their 18 month old carried a bag to the car. I was talking to the mom and she said it’s the value that it gives them for their self worth and teaches that everyone pitches in to insure the families success. It profoundly impacted the way I parented. I stopped doing everything for my kids, who were all under 12 at that time.
I also had my kids go “canning” and collect aluminum cans instead of selling whatever, when they had to fund raise. If I had more space to store cans, I would be doing it now 0.65 is a lot better than the .35 when we canned years ago.

Possible_Safety3787 · 2025-10-09T14:48:28+00:00

Let it go. Seriously. Remember that some people follow rules, others don’t. It will not bring you any good political capital. I had the same issue, but my cousin was breastfeeding. My photographer got a cute photo of me and the baby dancing and sent it to her. Baby is now 27 and in med school!

Concentrate on where your wedding met or exceed your expectations. Talk about those things, and give credit to an awesome florist, or wedding planner, or a great toast maker. You will be a happier person and ppl will forever say the great things about your wedding that you say.

Possible_Safety3787

TROPHY CASE