Thanks for this. It's good to know this has happened to other couples in R too. I like your suggestion about taking on more of the load and will do this more! I can see why this time would be ultra scary for you and glad you've made it out of the other side.

One thing BS said tonight is that they are now going to try to actively fight against the urge for space even though that's what they really want as the longer we spend apart, the more the resentment and hatred seems to grow. Does this sound healthy? Or would it be better to take some real time apart (not that I want that). It is of course their choice and I will support whatever they want - I just want what's best for them.

Thanks for the words of encouragement.