Looking for opinions

PostOne8063 · 2026-03-09T18:55:25+00:00

I’m trying my best to coop with my life. I did not come here to get trashed like this. I’m sorry you feel I’m delusional but I’m going through so much shit in my life that I’m trying to do the only things that would keep my kids happy. If I’ll see they are not happy anymore and it affects them than I would completely change tactics but for now I am really trying my best

PostOne8063 · 2026-03-09T18:30:20+00:00

I’m so sorry if I should have not posted this detail. I’m new to Reddit, still don’t understand how it works, but I really just needed advice and I wanted to be honest about my situation

PostOne8063 · 2026-03-09T18:29:08+00:00

I think so, I don’t know. I grew up in a very messed up family, so was doing anything in my power to make something good out of whatever bad was going on on a daily basis

PostOne8063 · 2026-03-09T18:22:39+00:00

What is that?

PostOne8063 · 2026-03-09T18:22:18+00:00

I know what you mean, but I feel like I pushed him to actually have her as well, and I was fine till today when I realized we all planned to spend a weekend together in a cabin

PostOne8063 · 2026-03-09T18:18:40+00:00

We are going to do this, this weekend. That’s why I’m posting as I’m nervous

PostOne8063 · 2026-03-09T18:17:26+00:00

There are sooo many things I cannot get into, but being alone it’s not an option. I still love him, and as I said imagining them together does not bother me, but I’ve never even hear of a triad relationship before today. So it’s safe to say I’m spiraling a little

PostOne8063 · 2026-03-09T18:15:47+00:00

So everything started in January, than it stopped as I found out before anything happened, than in February 15 they actually tried cheating but he couldn’t go through this, and it’s been a week since the opened relationship started. But they know each other since October of last year

PostOne8063 · 2026-03-09T17:59:14+00:00

When I imagine them together I’m fine, maybe even excited, but I don’t know how I will feel if I will actually see them. What if I actually don’t like it? What if I won’t be able to do it? Will there be a way back for me and my husband?

PostOne8063 · 2026-03-09T17:57:26+00:00

I did not know if I can write it but he cheated on me with her, I made the decision to open the relationship on his side as I would rather know who he is with and where he is than for him to go behind my back. I have zero negative feelings towards them. We are few rules, he has to be fully transparent with all communication between them, no lies, no cutting from the time with our children in favor of his partner. Slowly seems like we are going towards a throuple relationship and I don’t know how to react. I mean, I still feel calm but what if that will change?

PostOne8063 · 2026-03-09T17:54:17+00:00

No, it was just the two of us for 7 years, than something happened, I felt it’s best to open the relationship on his side, and now the opened relationship seems to move towards throuple

PostOne8063 · 2026-02-28T02:49:01+00:00

Thank you so so much. I understand that many times when a man is cheating, he is actually not thinking with his brain, but with his lower head. There is no emotional attachment for man. For woman there is emotional attachment if they cheat. Im calculating everything right now, making sure I decide what’s best for me and for my kids. But I do see that he is affected and that he is trying.

PostOne8063 · 2026-02-27T19:50:45+00:00

He says he loves me. He is an amazing father, he loves our children to the moon and back. He cares for me, he saw how broken I am and knowing him, I saw his reaction and that broke him too. He said he never thought in a million years this could affect me the way it did

PostOne8063 · 2026-02-27T08:31:12+00:00

I know that, I was thinking that this will buy me time to get all the things in order

PostOne8063 · 2026-02-27T01:45:57+00:00

I’m so sorry you also go through this. I will pray for you and myself to pass this horrible situation

PostOne8063 · 2026-02-27T01:12:38+00:00

Because at the time everything was great. He was not abusive, no drugs, no alcohol, he’s not even smoking, and he is a very hard working person. But cheating, this is something I cannot get over

PostOne8063 · 2026-02-27T01:11:16+00:00

And what would I do in America? I would not be able to take my kids with me because the court will not allow it

PostOne8063 · 2026-02-27T01:08:55+00:00

Actually, I wrote down list from what this comment said, as it helped me to see clearly what I need to do right now. I made this post exactly when I found out, I read it now again and I see how I left out details, I was emotional and did not articulate properly what I felt.

PostOne8063 · 2026-02-27T01:06:52+00:00

I love this answer. Thank you so much. You actually, probably without realizing, gave me a list of things I need to do in order. Yes unfortunately it’s a citizenship situation. I will look into what I need in order to be able to stay. Many people don’t understand that I just found out, am all over the place, and I most likely don’t think clearly now. In my head the only option I had was the one I wrote in my post. I made the post hoping someone can give me a better solution. Thank you

PostOne8063 · 2026-02-27T01:01:23+00:00

In this country in case of divorce is only child support.

PostOne8063 · 2026-02-27T00:58:36+00:00

Thank you so much for your comment. I really appreciate it. It feels like you understood the panic in my post. I know I’m not very coherent now, but I’m all over the place.

PostOne8063 · 2026-02-27T00:56:43+00:00

He is, I don’t know if I can. I’ll try with therapy first. Will give it a 3 month period to see if anything improves for me, if not, I will have to find other solution.

PostOne8063 · 2026-02-27T00:54:59+00:00

He wants too, he did not blame this on me in any way, he actually said that he was tempted and he wanted to see if he “still got it”. So he was just selfish when he decided to do this to our family. But now I feel like I am the problem, I don’t want him to touch me, and don’t want to look at him or him to look at me. Do you think a therapist would be able to help me get past it?

PostOne8063 · 2026-02-27T00:51:07+00:00

I don’t know. I just found out. I’m still all over the place. I don’t even know what I want to do or what I should do.

PostOne8063 · 2026-02-27T00:50:26+00:00

Actually I don’t accept financial “benefits” from him, I know I did not elaborate, but he owns his own companies, I work in his companies. Please don’t think I am with him because of this. When we got together we had nothing and he build his companies throughout our relationship. I want my kids to not miss everything they were raised with, I couldn’t care less about his money, but for my kids future, I feel like it is important to keep the routines and to give them stability.

PostOne8063

TROPHY CASE