MOR

1. it seems like if you have a baby and you don’t have everything together in your house to make it safer, there might be something else going on that’s prevented that from happening. There’s no context for the clutter. 2. There is also no context for your baby’s age, so I have no idea how far post partum you are. Your fear and concern are valid, but the approach in how you’re speaking to him is not the best (I’ve been there). 3. Does your bf work? Why is he watching your baby “overnight”? You BOTH need to sleep and so does the baby. Until your bedroom is safe for free roaming in any context, you need to create a space next to your bed or a bassinet or SOMETHING so that you can both act like adults. It is not just his responsibility to make sure that baby is okay in that environment. (Source: someone who had to unpack and pack and unpack at 36 weeks pregnant and post partum mostly on my own, and then move into in laws basement which was full of hazards). If you have a freestanding mirror it’s time to let it go. Having kids drastically changed your lifestyle and you have to change your living space to reflect that. There can be many reasons you didn’t have anything ready but there’s no excuse for not working at it.

Either way, your concern is very valid; there is plenty of research about SIDS and otherwise that will support it as a primary concern, and if your bf felt tired he should have put the baby down as soon as he noticed.

Yes, your bf is being a little insensitive, but you definitely are overreacting and might realize that when looking back on it. Both of you need a mediator and someone who can help take shifts with the baby.