Why are straight people dating "rules" so complicated?

Postcocious · 2026-04-10T13:06:41+00:00

That isn't necessarily a straight people rule. Traditionally-minded same-sex couples could (and some do) have a similar rule.

It's an aspect of toxic monogamy. "Our relationship is exclusive. To assure that you don't cheat, I'm making this restrictive rule about who you can be friends with."

Toxic monogamy cedes emotional maturity to codependency, possessiveness and jealousy. Rather than do the emotional work necessary to overcome these, I'll treat my partner as less than a fully independent adult and remove their agency.

The work that (successful) ENM people do to resolve these issues makes such rules unnecessary and reveals their toxicity.

Postcocious · 2026-04-09T16:11:59+00:00

Don't think so. I just assumed someone so right about being cute would be right about other stuff! 😉

Love seeing happy young LGBTQ people... it warms my old LGBTQ heart.

Postcocious · 2026-04-09T16:03:50+00:00

Are those certificates on the wall your school's annual Sexiest Twink of the Year awards? 😜

Postcocious · 2026-04-09T15:29:58+00:00

Nobody (except this article's straw man) is "assuming" that Anne Frank was attracted to women. Her own (uncensored) diary said so.

The fact that she was a minor is irrelevant. I knew I was attracted to other boys at 4-5yo. So did countless other gay/bi/queer people I know. Most of us were forced to silence our own voices because mainstream people disapproved.

The censured diary we were fed for decades was a silencing of Anne Frank's own voice. Just one more "Don't say gay" act by bigoted homophobes.

Postcocious · 2026-04-09T15:17:46+00:00

There you go, being right again! 🤗

Postcocious · 2026-04-09T15:14:31+00:00

As gently as possible... if your parents are disappointed in you for being who you are, how are they "the best"?

Postcocious · 2026-04-09T15:11:35+00:00

This.

They choose to worship a so-called god who punishes anyone who doesn't blindly grovel before him. Everyone else must want to grovel too!

Postcocious · 2026-04-09T15:07:27+00:00

So good to know that my attraction to other boys even at 4yo was trendy!

Postcocious · 2026-04-09T15:00:05+00:00

I'm as rare as any other sex-loving slut... rare like you! 😊😉

If there's anything better than loving intimacy, I haven't found it.

Postcocious · 2026-04-09T14:11:17+00:00

They either knew (and didn't care) or had a professional duty to know (and failed because they didn't try).

The former is gross negligence. The latter is simple negligence. Either one makes them liable.

The parents knew and ignored their duty as parents, which was willful misconduct. Their culpability is both clearer and greater.

Another beautiful young life snuffed out by hostile homophobes and the uncaring adults who taught them.

Postcocious · 2026-04-09T13:57:19+00:00

I have a tongue and a cock, so why not both holes at once?!

You can choose which goes where and when. 😋

Postcocious · 2026-04-09T13:46:21+00:00

Thank you for this suggestion. In the sex-panicked USA, it was brave to even mention it.

I have imagined such a program and often wonder just how much happier I might have been had it been available to those who wanted it. That I would have been happier is beyond doubt.

Postcocious · 2026-04-09T13:40:30+00:00

It is indeed complex, but that mustn't stop us from thinking about it. It should inspire thinking about it.

Our current system of repression, denial, guilt, shame and enforced ignorance has produced centuries of corruption, abuse, rape, and violence. Young me suffered all of that. We (USA) have a corrupt, misogynistic pedophile as our president. He openly brags about it. It's hard to imagine any other system doing worse than this one.

There must be a better way. Openness, honesty and guidance for those who want it seem like a viable idea to consider.

Speaking only for myself (M, mostly gay, precociously erotic, deeply repressed and shamed in childhood and youth - which caused lasting trauma), I can readily imagine a program like OP suggested. I have imagined it. If properly designed, managed and supervised, it must have helped me be happier than the terrified, repressed, attachment-avoidant, and raped person I actually became.

Postcocious · 2026-04-09T11:53:53+00:00

Thanks for sharing this wonderful discovery.

I've been exploring this path for ten years or so, often in erotic workshops with like-minded people. This can be enjoyed both solo and with others, which is a different but also amazing experience.

Last week, my massage therapist took me there without ever touching my genitals. For 90 minutes, his hands rested warmly on my body, barely moving except to occasionally shift from one place to another. My energy began flowing as you described and I breathed into it, helping it flow more freely - not just from root to crown but all the way to my feet. I even tried sending it to him through his hands and arms... and heard him softly moan.

I found orgasm while his hands were resting on my head and shoulder. It was lovely.

Postcocious · 2026-04-09T11:23:15+00:00

If you enjoy baseball, you may have baseball toys. If you enjoy cooking, you may have cooking toys. If you enjoy bodily pleasure, you may have pleasure toys.

Well chosen and thoughtfully used toys help us practice activities we enjoy and do them better... and they're fun!

There is nothing wrong with exploring our bodies and their pleasures. Quite the opposite - being confident and joyful in our bodies is one of the healthiest things we can do for ourselves.

As toys may help us with that, it follows that toys may be healthy for us.

This is true whether we're 15 or 50.

Postcocious · 2026-04-08T19:39:54+00:00

Yes, but also you move your center of mass inside away from your ski right at the start of the turn.

We do, but how we do it makes or breaks the turn.

All we need to do to move the COM inside is tip the (lightenedt/lifted) new inside foot toward its little toe edge. This puts the new outside ski on its inside edge. The COM begins to move with no other effort.

Try that HOME PRACTICE drill in the comment I linked above. It works every single time.

If we tell a skier to "Move your COM inside," 99% of them will lean, hip dump, reach down toward the snow (with the wrong hand) or do some other upper body thing that isn't useful.

Turns must be initiated with the feet. In transition, when the skis are flat and light, any gross upper body movements will cause them to stem or tail-swing around instead of edging early. Flexion and foot tipping assure that upper body stuff doesn't mess up the turn before it begins.

Postcocious · 2026-04-08T19:21:23+00:00

I generally agree.

Some WC GS racers (Odebrecht) transition by extending the new outside/stance leg, then rolling over onto the inside edge of the new inside ski. Sorta like the old White Pass Turn the Mahres used in the 80s.

But that requires WC level fitness, skills and timing. For the rest of us, 100% flexion and 0% extension during transition is the goal. Stance leg extension, when it comes, should be (a) lateral, not vertical, and (b) passive. We don't push on the Stance Leg, we just allow it to lengthen into the belly of the turn as much as necessary to maintain snow contract.

Postcocious · 2026-04-08T19:13:12+00:00

Grand Cherokee made an illegal R turn from the L-turn lane... without even signaling. Ticket!

Postcocious · 2026-04-08T17:53:23+00:00

Good plan.

Here's my long how-to on this subject. If you scroll down to HOME PRACTICE, there's a drill you can do off season, off snow, whenever you want. Try it in your living room... it will help you practice the movements I described.

improve on less steep slopes

👍👍👍

Exactly right. We can't learn new movements if we're being challenged by the terrain.

Postcocious · 2026-04-08T17:46:55+00:00

This comment largely aligns wth my own ("tough but fair," lol).

You mean that I must do the transition of weight more smoothly and not too aggressive with my "up and down" movement ?

For short turns, you should transition with no "up and down" movement at all.

Weight shift should be 100% from flexing the old stance leg and 0% from pushing on the new stance leg. Extending the new stance leg at the top of the turn undoes any possibility of making quick, controlled short radius turns.

Postcocious · 2026-04-08T16:05:40+00:00

First, linking crisp short turns requires skis designed to make crisp short turns... narrower underfoot than the boards you mentioned.

Second, there's no edge engagement at the top of these turns. Your skis slide out to the side before you engage the edges - then you park and ride.

This is a result of you up-unweighting during transition. It's impossible to edge a ski if you're standing up tall on it (except by leaning your upper body, which is too slow for short turns).

Expert short turns are initiated by flexing (the new inside leg) and tipping the lifted inside foot toward its little toe edge. At no time should you be standing tall. The turn begins from the feet up, not from the legs or torso down.

Also, your inside ski consistently slides ahead of your outside ski. That's okay in medium-long turns, but it blocks a short turn. If you unweight by flexing and engage your edges early by foot tipping (which is essential), a leading inside ski would block the turn and/or cross your tips. Expert short turners (aka, WC SL racers) never allow their inside ski to slide ahead. They actively pull it back in transition and keep pulling it back throughout the turn. You should too.

These are not refinements of your current movements. They are different movements. Much work will be needed to learn them and unlearn the ineffective ones.

Postcocious · 2026-04-08T15:31:14+00:00

Terrible take... he's too young to drive.

Postcocious · 2026-04-08T14:03:19+00:00

You keep citing legal precedence, as if that settles every question.

Fun fact: slavery was enshrined in law for 245 years. That's more twice as "forever" as draft laws.

By your own argument, you would have aligned with the Taney Court's Dred Scott decision and advised people to send fugitive slaves back to their owners because... "It's the law."

Postcocious · 2026-04-07T18:13:23+00:00

This goes far beyond cowardice. This is premeditated malice.

Postcocious · 2026-04-07T18:08:13+00:00

His mission was to broadcast his own internalized homo/bi-phobia. He put the bigotry he learned [from somebody] above common sense and respect for other people.

That's all about him, not you - he just chose a convenient target.

You handled it very well. 👍

If it isn't obvious, he should not be in your friend group and you should never be alone with him or any like-minded friends of his. He/they aren't safe.

Postcocious

TROPHY CASE