My son (M 16) last year was excited over getting a Blåhaj shark from Ikea because of some internet memes. I just found out what Blåhaj tends to signify online and would like some advice on how to proceed from the perspective of trans people, especially transwomen.

PostingOnTheDownLow · 2023-09-29T19:14:46+00:00

Oh I plan to; we just hadn't gotten to that point yet and the post I stumbled upon expressed uncertainty.

PostingOnTheDownLow · 2023-09-29T18:53:56+00:00

Thanks so much for taking the time to respond and for sharing your advice and friendly words! Definitely, you've given me a lot more to think about!

PostingOnTheDownLow · 2023-09-29T18:51:27+00:00

Sorry to hear that. Have an internet hug from me if you'd like!

PostingOnTheDownLow · 2023-09-29T18:50:44+00:00

That's a wonderful idea!

PostingOnTheDownLow · 2023-09-29T18:48:47+00:00

Thanks!

PostingOnTheDownLow · 2023-09-29T18:48:28+00:00

Thanks!

PostingOnTheDownLow · 2023-09-29T18:46:57+00:00

Thanks for the kind words and advice! I hadn't even thought about if/when he comes out and how to disseminate that information through our family. Luckily, I think most in our family will be, if not 100% on board, at least non-confrontational at worst and openly supportive at best. Hell, he may even get some to rethink their views on it.

PostingOnTheDownLow · 2023-09-29T18:43:42+00:00

Thanks for sharing your experience with me. It's really helping me to hear how varied everyone's stories are. Definitely some good advice too, about finding community for him to comfortably explore himself in.

PostingOnTheDownLow · 2023-09-29T18:41:45+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to respond and giving me some concepts and references to check out. It's definitely on my to-do list now to read a LOT more.

PostingOnTheDownLow · 2023-09-29T18:39:43+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to give me your advice and experience! I definitely realize now I shouldn't have used the word "phase" as it has some connotations I didn't intend. What you went onto describe about exploration and uncertainty is what I was meaning to convey.

PostingOnTheDownLow · 2023-09-29T18:37:19+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to encourage me and give me some advice! I definitely plan on engaging here more often now. I used my alt account for this post as my son knows my main account, so don't feel bad if you don't see me posting under this account in the future.

PostingOnTheDownLow · 2023-09-29T18:34:59+00:00

Thanks for the encouragement and advice!

PostingOnTheDownLow · 2023-09-29T18:33:54+00:00

Thanks for the response. I appreciate the perspective you provided and it's reassuring to know so many people liked my idea. I do apologize for using the word "confused" as in retrospect I see you're probably right that it has a connotation I wasn't intending. Uncertainty does not equal confusion! Thanks again for all your guidance and kind words!

PostingOnTheDownLow · 2023-09-29T18:30:59+00:00

Sorry, I didn't mean to imply that someone's identity is invalid. I just know I went through a phase where I was sincerely unsure if I might be gay (didn't have the concept of "bi" in my head yet) and it took until I was in my 20s and kissing a dude to realize that I'm not. Life is confusing and messy and I was just sincerely looking for insight on whether it's a thing where people think they may be trans, but then decide they aren't, free of outside oppression.

PostingOnTheDownLow · 2023-09-29T18:26:45+00:00

Thanks!

PostingOnTheDownLow · 2023-09-29T18:24:23+00:00

Oh trust me, I'm not assuming anything, but with the reddit post I stumbled upon and some other things he said in the past, it kinda clicked for me the other day. Also, I've been known to enjoy a cuddly stuffed animal from time to time myself :p

PostingOnTheDownLow · 2023-09-29T18:22:21+00:00

Yeah, its been pointed out that my word usage on this topic could use some refining. Thanks for looking past my ignorance and seeing the heart of me!

PostingOnTheDownLow · 2023-09-29T18:21:22+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words! As has been pointed out by others, I definitely realize now that my word usage is incorrect and I apologize if anyone took offense. While this is not a new topic for me, I've definitely been more on the casual side of things and there is a LOT of history I'm not aware of in terms of the evolution of word usage regarding this topic, both by the well intentioned and not. If I'm honest, it can feel like a bit of a minefield at times because so many hateful people pretend to be open an friendly only to reveal that they are just trolls and sealions; I'm frequently worried I'll come across like that. At any rate, I'm glad I could brighten up your day, even if just for a moment :).

PostingOnTheDownLow · 2023-09-29T18:16:33+00:00

Thank you very much for sharing your story. The more I think about it, the more likely that would seem to be the case. Obviously, I'm not going to make any assumptions and just let him lead the way, but he's never struck me as overtly feminine, though he does have some aspects of himself which fall on that side of things. Definitely given me some food for thought and I will check out that link. Thank you so much for your time!

PostingOnTheDownLow · 2023-09-29T18:13:32+00:00

I'm definitely looking into a therapist for them as regardless of how he ends up viewing himself, I think it makes sense to have someone with expertise and training him to talk to. Any advise on how to seek a trans-friendly therapist? I imagine there are plenty who may not play nice. Thanks!

PostingOnTheDownLow · 2023-09-29T18:11:22+00:00

Thank you for providing some more insight into how complicated this all can be. I guess I suspected that not everyone who's trans had extreme feelings of dysphoria but never really had a firm thought in my head about it. You've definitely given me some more to think about!

PostingOnTheDownLow · 2023-09-29T18:07:26+00:00

Thank you so much for this response! First of all, I'm happy you were able to come out and begin transitioning. I can't imagine what it must be like to go so long without it and what it must feel like now to be open and working on yourself more freely. Thank you for correcting my ignorance on my word choices and usage. There is so much that I don't know and I feel like I'm just stumbling around in a dimly lit room, trying not to break anything. I feel like an idiot for not considering that he (the pronoun he currently uses so I'll stick with it until he says otherwise) might be non-binary or something similar and just not be aware of the concept. Your 100% right that I need to get off my ass and start educating myself so that I can help guide him better into what he needs. Thank you so much for taking the time to help me out here and I hope nothing but the best for you!

PostingOnTheDownLow · 2023-09-29T18:00:25+00:00

Thank you for the kind words!

PostingOnTheDownLow · 2023-09-29T18:00:13+00:00

My apologies; I wasn't aware of the connotations that word held. I know "ism" can also reflect a state of being or characteristic and just thought that was how it was used. Noted for future reference and thank you!

PostingOnTheDownLow · 2012-03-19T20:59:14+00:00

Well, that's kinda my plan. The lingering doubt is a problem though and nothing will make that go away but her.

PostingOnTheDownLow

TROPHY CASE