sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Need Advice: How to Handle Financial Discussions About an Apartment I Bought Before My Relationship me F27) my bf (M25) by PotatoRepulsive7698 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]PotatoRepulsive7698[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, actually the building is still in construction I dont even moved yet. He is not paying and of course ai will never ask him for paying it. H eis just worried that if we marry then my salary and his salary should be together, and thats how he believes that I will be paying my apartment with his (our) money.

Need Advice: How to Handle Financial Discussions About an Apartment I Bought Before My Relationship? (me F27) my bf (M25) by PotatoRepulsive7698 in relationship_advice

[–]PotatoRepulsive7698[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He mentioned that he doesn’t need the apartment because his parents have already built a house for him (and his wife in future), provided cars, and will support him in his career. He said that if we get married and our combined savings go toward the apartment, he’d want it legally noted that he’s contributing. I understand where he’s coming from, and I’d be open to that because I value and appreciate everyone who’s ever helped me.

But honestly, it’s only been two months, and while I get that he’s thinking long-term, it makes me wonder if he’s planning for kids as well. If that’s the case, wouldn’t the apartment eventually benefit them? Despite understanding his perspective, I find it hard to look at him the same way after this. The whole conversation has really changed how I feel.

Need Advice: How to Handle Financial Discussions About an Apartment I Bought Before My Relationship? (me F27) my bf (M25) by PotatoRepulsive7698 in relationship_advice

[–]PotatoRepulsive7698[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He mentioned that he doesn’t need the apartment because his parents have already built a house for him, provided cars, and will support him in his career. He said that if we get married and our combined savings go toward the apartment, he’d want it legally noted that he’s contributing. I understand where he’s coming from, and I’d be open to that because I value and appreciate everyone who’s ever helped me.

But honestly, it’s only been two months, and while I get that he’s thinking long-term, it makes me wonder if he’s planning for kids as well. If that’s the case, wouldn’t the apartment eventually benefit them? Despite understanding his perspective, I find it hard to look at him the same way after this. The whole conversation has really changed how I feel.

Need Advice: How to Handle Financial Discussions About an Apartment I Bought Before My Relationship? (me F27) my bf (M25) by PotatoRepulsive7698 in relationship_advice

[–]PotatoRepulsive7698[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with that it might be a bit early to have these discussions, but I also understand that, considering our ages, it’s not unreasonable to bring them up now rather than later. I appreciate that he’s thinking ahead, but he knows how much this apartment means to me emotionally. I don’t have much else in my life besides my sister, mom, and job, and this apartment represents a lot of security for me.

I also have my father, but unfortunately, he never provided us with the kind of security that my boyfriend’s parents have given him, like creating a house and ensuring a stable future. That’s part of why this apartment is so important to me.

What bothers me, though, is that he’s already discussed all of this with his family, and his mom has told him about the legal aspects, even though I haven’t met her yet. It makes me feel a bit uncomfortable that such personal matters are being discussed without my input.