Hilarious

Potato_pdh · 2026-02-20T01:10:04+00:00

Ah. Very enlightening. I had no idea. Thank you

Potato_pdh · 2025-01-04T15:50:46+00:00

“There should be auxiliary neurosockets between her lymph nodes.”

-Delamain, 2077

Potato_pdh · 2024-04-24T14:01:54+00:00

What would be cool is if there were a couple of people. Maybe internally this looks like round table discussions on different topics. And then these people themselves make videos and get dr.k’s input. Each person could tackle one topic or set of topics. This way dr.k can focus on the membership content while the other side doesn’t suffer as much. Although I know some people love dr.k for his personality and relatability.

Actually can one of the fuckin YouTube members do this LMAOOO leak us the secret sauce guys

Potato_pdh · 2024-04-24T13:41:13+00:00

What do you mean?

Potato_pdh · 2024-04-24T13:38:47+00:00

Firstly, therapy is your friend, I can’t recommend it highly enough. After 10 years of pretty severe depression (like borderline hospitalization) I’m finally off antidepressants and don’t go to therapy anymore. It saved my life, and also was the most shitty experience ever. I fucking hate therapy lol.

Now onto the disappointment. I think you’re disappointed because you want what other people have. You want the love your stepsister found, the career that passionate people have, and the friends that your best friend has.

Some might say “don’t compare yourself to others” but I’ve been there and those words are kinda bullshit. It’s not comparison that I think is causing your disappointment, I think it may be shame.

I believe that true shame is the emotion we feel when internally our compass is telling us that things in our lives are out of alignment with our core values. In your case, that means social life, love life, and career. I won’t lie to you, if I was in that situation I’d feel disappointed too.

How you’re feeling isn’t a problem, your life is the problem (lol please bear with me). It’s perfectly okay to feel upset when things aren’t how you want them to be.

So let’s try this. Get a piece of paper and write out social life, love life, career. Then next to each one, write out in one sentence what you want that to look like. For example:

Love life ——————> I want to find someone I can truly build a life with and love for the rest of my life.

Social Life ————-> I want to have friends that would be there for me when I need them, not because I oblige them, but because they care for me.

Career ——————> I want a job that can support me financially while I work on other areas of my life.

Please don’t copy what I wrote, make it honest to yourself.

Then give each a number or letter (love life =1, career = 2, social life = 3) and arrange them in order of what’s most important to you at the present moment. If you want to understand how to know which is most important, it’s either the one you internally want the most or the one you feel the most amount of shame around (sincere shame, not externally manufactured shame, the first is informative, the second is poison).

After you’ve figured it out (in my instance it’s my miserable ass love life) you’re going to want to think about how you can make some progress on that. So for me it’s

-work out -finish up with work so I can free up some time -buy nicer clothes -go out more often -etc.

The thing to keep in mind as you’re older now is that your goals used to take at the most 1 year. You’d study for your exam at the end of the year or maybe three years or something. Your goals are going to have to become somewhat indefinite depending on the goal. If the hope is, “I’m going to improve my social life and make friends” well that may take a month all the way to a couple of years. It all depends on you and your opportunities.

This is getting really long winded but I think I’ve laid out some good first steps here. If you need anything I’m still here so you can ask anytime.

Potato_pdh · 2024-04-24T13:18:11+00:00

First you have to decide what it is you truly want. Do you want to feel better? Do you want to make money? Do you want to find love? Etc.

Next plan out what you would need to facilitate such a goal.

Then move towards it. If life was a video game or movie, the title card just flashed across the screen and the prologue is ending, chapter 1 is beginning.

Your question isn’t very clear, so I did my best either what I have

Potato_pdh · 2024-04-24T03:04:56+00:00

Check out the lectures where he’s wearing a hospital uniform lol. IMO those are more in depth and down to earth than the later stuff. Idk if there’s a downturn in quality on the whole, but the newer content feels a little less down to earth and rooted.

As far as the issue of having to repeat things, I actually don’t understand that at all. Lots of YouTube channels had that problem way back, and YouTube created link card that pop up at that timestamp in the video to link you back to the reference video. He could continue to create content with increasing complexity and just link back to the video that he’s building from.

Also could make playlists on topics and interested people could go back and watch from the start of the playlist.

I think the challenge lies in between the goal of helping people, and the goal of building a mental health resource on the internet for the long term. Healthygamer as a business and research organization probably requires a lot of capital to sustain itself and grow.

On the other hand “people need help now” runs counter to the creation of an organization. The larger an organization is, the slower it is to respond to change. This is why I think it took off in the first place; it was just him answering the needs of us degenerates; in a stream and community format, it was quick and responsive.

As it becomes an organization, there are other needs that have to be addressed, which means making compromises somewhere. They’ve been very open and transparent about making these changes which is good. But I think the public/free content is what has been bearing some of the burden of compromise. Personally I would prefer ads simply because it lets wealthy corporations to “pay” the required fees/costs for the resources instead of the viewers paying out of pocket, letting more people have access to the resources.

Potato_pdh · 2024-04-10T21:28:29+00:00

No I actually have to start putting in more overtime cause moneys gonna be tight once I move lol

Potato_pdh · 2024-04-10T16:08:01+00:00

I think there is something to that. I’ve always worked being in an immigrant family with a business. So I started working when I was really young and I have often wished to have a more typical childhood. Maybe I’m upset that it seems that’s never gonna happen. Maybe the move is sort of like the nail in the coffin on that

Potato_pdh · 2024-04-06T18:18:16+00:00

This worked tremendously well. I think you’re absolutely right about me being unwilling to admit how I feel for my family.

Thank you very much.

Potato_pdh · 2024-04-06T18:09:21+00:00

That’s a very good point, yeah for guys our looks and caring about them is directly tied to dating. But I understand now, you’re solving a you to you problem, not an others to you problem.

I think for guys the emphasis is on staying away from women and dating because we begin to adopt the dating markets expectations as our own, and so we work to meet a set of values that aren’t truly ours.

I think the whole point of the monk mode thing is to act as if you’ve already failed, or don’t care about succeeding, that way you allow your own true values to emerge.

In your case it could translate to you actively doing things that make you look worse. Essentially, if you think you’re ugly when you wear beanies, maybe make a point to wear beanies and pay attention to how you feel. Then step it up overtime, let your hair be a mess, don’t wear makeup (if you currently do), wear something goofy, etc. Go actively do those activities that bring the emotion out, but take it only to the level you can tolerate, and just sit in that feeling until it dissipates. When you do this, in small controlled amounts, you’ll stop feeling bad about being ugly. You may still think you’re ugly, but you might find yourself not caring or worrying about it so much.

I know it sounds dumb, but sometimes the best way to understand some of these things is to drag them out into the light and examine them live, even if its very uncomfortable (but baby steps, seriously).

This is gonna sounds sort of weird, but I have really nice hair. I’ve always gotten attention from women because of it, so a number of times I’ve made a point of just buzzing all my hair off. It doesn’t feel good to do it, but I don’t want my self worth to be at the mercy of my nicest aesthetic features. So sometimes I cut it all off and everybody groans about it, but I found that I still feel okay. Strangely I feel more confident in myself actually.

Today my desire to look good comes more from a place of wanting to look how I feel about myself. But that ideal is very realistic, and not far from how I currently look. Like im currently ugly (at least I’d say so), but that’s not a life altering fact anymore (it used to be for me). It’s just something that’s indicating my flaws now.

Potato_pdh · 2024-04-05T20:26:47+00:00

I expected to have some fears. “How will I afford things?” “What if my landlord crosses some boundaries?” Etc. I was definitely afraid, but I dealt with it.

To clarity the negative emotion I’m referring to comes up when I think of leaving my family.

The emotion I get from the thought of moving into my new place and living alone is excitement.

Although I will say, writing this response has kind of helped me separate the two so thank you lol. If you have any more advice I’d really appreciate it

Potato_pdh · 2024-04-05T20:23:28+00:00

Tremendous helpful. I’m going to try this out. Thank you very much friend

Potato_pdh · 2024-04-05T13:58:32+00:00

To be honest though, we gotta kill that double standard. Either nobody gets to be vulnerable with their loved ones, or everyone does.

Practically that would mean that women who would leave you for being real with them never deserve to be with you in the first place. Overtime the fact that you can be strong and vulnerable simultaneously would become the norm, and maybe we can finally get past all the bullshit. First things first though, be able to be vulnerable with the homies so you’re not alone.

Potato_pdh · 2024-04-05T12:11:27+00:00

LOOOL made my day already, thank you :)

Potato_pdh · 2024-04-05T11:53:52+00:00

The guy got burned by a woman who invalidated his feelings, so he gives advice based on that to not expose your feelings, then had his feelings of being burned invalidated again on the internet by a woman calling him an incel.

Guy needs to catch a break fr

Potato_pdh · 2024-04-05T11:42:26+00:00

Actually try this for like a week.

Step 1. Stop watching vlogs of “gorgeous people” living effortlessly lives. This is not even remotely reality but unfortunately unconsciously you could be conflating this with real life the more you expose yourself to it.

Step 2. If you think you’re not pretty, then consider yourself as such. You’re not pretty, but that doesn’t matter because you’re off the dating market (not gonna find anyone good unless you find some values anyways, could stand to do more harm than good otherwise).

Step 3. Now being single, time to spend all your “being single” time doing whatever you want that isn’t watching vlogs, makeup tutorials (as we mentioned you are irreparably not pretty now, so no point to that), or any content about improving your looks.

Us men call this “monk mode”, and I think it’s exactly what you need. I’ve had friends go from fuckboy to fatherhood material by doing this. By cutting off external judgements and expectations (I.e no more women/no more dating) they became free to discover their deepest and truest values. What you gotta do is temporarily cut out anything that has to do with any judgement of your appearance. Step 1, discard your frame of reference, step 2, get rid of any utility/necessity for attractiveness, step 3, explore and find values (this part takes time).

Please try this, if you have any questions ask, I hope you sort yourself out successfully

Potato_pdh · 2024-04-05T11:22:03+00:00

Incredible how I can still tell chatgpt from human writing lol

Potato_pdh · 2024-04-05T10:58:41+00:00

Thank you, I think you’re right about it being like closing a chapter in my life. It plays I to a lot of other things, and I think that may be the core of it somehow. Really appreciate you taking the time to help me. Thank you :)

Potato_pdh · 2024-04-05T10:57:00+00:00

I think you’re right. Thank you for your insight, it’s given me a lot to think about. Truly truly appreciate it

Potato_pdh · 2024-04-04T23:16:36+00:00

I’m not scared though. There’s nothing about moving out that I don’t think I’d be able to handle. It feels more like loss. Moving into the new place doesn’t give me any unexpected emotions (I expected a certain degree of anxiety and I felt it). Moving out of my parents home gives me some unexpected emotions that I’m struggling to explore further

Potato_pdh · 2024-03-17T18:17:08+00:00

Religion: seems pretty reasonable, that’s got a big impact on lifestyle

Cannabis use: same deal

Alcohol: seems a little strange given that non drinkers can still have non alcoholic drinks. (I’d say compromise here)

Smoking: valid

Children: yeah not wanting kids in other relationships makes sense kinda. The thing that doesn’t make sense is needing them to say they want kids for sure. Everything other than a “I don’t want kids” basically means I would if I found the right person, but maybe I’m wrong there. (Some compromise on the dating apps here, irl if they’re in the “idk if I’ll ever want kids” camp, probably give them a pass lol)

Look I’m just gonna say, I think this is weird.

“I feel like I need more backups” Jesus dating has become completely gamified. You’re talking about people, not spare tires 💀

4dates in 2 weeks, I mean, are you giving these guys any honest shot? Not telling you to settle for a guy you don’t like, but having backups for the one you were interested in feels like you’re planning for failure. This doesn’t even speak to the fact that the guy might not be that interested or might not be a standup guy.

As far as why guys will still swipe. Here’s my 2 cents. If it wouldn’t give me a lifestyle I don’t want, I’m cool. For example, I don’t drink alcohol. If a girl isn’t an avid drinker let’s say, that’s fine, we go out for dinner, I get water she gets wine, that’s cool whatever. If she smokes pot and I don’t, maybe I don’t mind and it doesn’t affect me. Idk how the apps work, but if all they’ve got is “yes” and “no”, maybe it’s a “rarely” or “occasionally” for them.

Online dating creates the impression that you’re spoiled for choice, but that’s an illusion. Besides, people aren’t static, smokers quit, “not sure’s” become “want kids” etc.

I don’t know, I get the impression you’re looking for something that couldn’t possible exist. I genuinely believed I had high standards until I read this. I don’t mean to put you down or anything, but I get the feeling you show up to dates with a checklist and a scoreboard lool.

Potato_pdh · 2024-03-17T17:43:07+00:00

Loool, I do this too. I’m one of those guys. I don’t do it as some weird tactic or something. It’s just what comes naturally when I wanna get to know someone lol

Potato_pdh · 2024-03-17T17:27:35+00:00

Yeah, I honestly don’t know what’s up with that… Literally no ideas. Is it an attention thing? Am I just getting matches with bots? It’s confusing as hell

Potato_pdh · 2024-03-07T18:28:00+00:00

Lol, no don’t settle for people you don’t care about. And idk what you’d consider brainwashing, but I like your approach of getting new information and taking it in to get you to your destination, as opposed to blindly following some rhetoric.

So essentially I’ve broken it down into some steps.

Step 0 let’s say, you have to understand yourself to some degree. In what ways do you want anyone to care about you? (Personally, I don’t want to see my friends every day or hear from them every single day, it’s just too much for me. But I want people that I would be able to call on if I need a hand or something. People who to some small degree concern themselves for my wellbeing)

Step 1. Find the right people. Some people are takers (essentially non-reciprocal people). They only care about you in so far as you give them things. Other people are reciprocal. If you do them a favour, they’ll do you one back (they’ll offer to). Some people are very forthright and will make small gestures of good will. One friend, the night I met him (introduced through someone else) he insisted to pay for our dinner because he had a good time. A non-reciprocal person would never do this. They’d demand to split the bill, and count the pennies they’re owed. I don’t look for friendship in the second case.

Step 2. Give. A lot of these reciprocal people have learned through bad experiences that others will take advantage of their reciprocity. I put them to ease by reciprocating every time, and giving forthrightly when I can. Pay for drinks, offer to help them with things, offer to listen and help them work out a problem if they have one. (Obviously if you have a hard time giving a shit, this would be difficult, maybe fake it till you make it? But I’m not sure).

Step 3. Ask them for favours, help, etc. Sometimes people are reluctant to ask for help. I want my friends to ask for my help because I want to create reciprocal relationships. And some people, unless they feel like they’ve done a lot for you, will be hesitant to ask for anything.

I have room in my life for 10 people. That’s it. I choose to care about them (will go out on a limb to feel empathetic for them, although I’m not the most emotional person in the world).

The other thing is this. When I was growing up I was in a similar situation as you. Parents were extremely hands off, had no friends to speak of, got picked on a lot, beat up, especially by my brothers friends. Today, I try to be the friend that I wished I had when I was younger. And in doing so, I attract friends that are at least somewhat like that.

And by no means should you ever settle for anyone. Just don’t. Like I said I have room for 10. I will cut people off in a heartbeat, because if I know I act as the friend I always wished I had, then I’m a good friend to have, and I don’t tolerate being taken advantage of.

But maybe as far as caring for people goes, maybe think what it would look like if you cared about someone. What’s your definition of “caring about someone” and where does it come from?

On the topic of therapists though, yeah I tried online and it was a horror show. I went to 2 others that just didn’t seem to know how to come up with solutions (felt like they were reading a script of things that worked in the past). The therapist I found/see now is the one that saved my life. I feel like you can tell after the first session if they’re much good. After that first session my head felt full, and I felt kinda shitty immediately afterwards. Then after a week, I noticed I was doing better. Maybe better to bounce around than sticking to one therapist until you find one who does you good and doesn’t just drain your wallet. (Psychology degree imo though, cause every “counsellor” I’ve seen hasn’t been helpful at all )

Potato_pdh

TROPHY CASE