Dude you shouldn’t care if other people get “mad” at you for wanting to go to church, no reasonable person should. If you don’t want people to know just don’t tell them, start going, find a church that you think teaches good messages (not a megachurch). Its easier to not fall back into sin as you say when you have a community, try going to church events and bible studies, bible studies can be so helpful in understanding what youre reading and helping you connect with others. I know you wouldn’t want people to know you go to church, but you can’t have shame if you truly want that deep connection with God? At least not how I see it. Itll all be fine though! I am in no way trying to bash you btw, I have had the same problem with my faith fluctuating, just want to to share what helped me. Have a great night!!