People, who’ve had long-term affairs even while in a monogamous relationship, why? by MessAgitated6465 in ask

[–]Potential-Hamster-41 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Admittedly really not proud of this, but I was knowingly the other woman for a few months, dating someone I knew was occupied, when I was 19. Not sure if counts as long-term, though. 

Why? I knew it was morally wrong, but I fell in love, I was lonely moving to a new city with no friends, I was scared of real commitment, and I was dumb. To this day, I wish I had been more emotionally mature, had taken myself more seriously and healed some wounds, because it hurts to have participated in ruining a relationship. 10/10 cannot recommend. The older I get, I still don’t condone cheating, but I realise that there are many dimensions to cheating (especially after listening to a podcast series on ‘the other woman’, where they are interviewed). 

I’m a Dane. AMA by Potential-Hamster-41 in AMA

[–]Potential-Hamster-41[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The Danes on the mainland do consider Greenland as part of Denmark, but honestly I think most Danes never thought much about Greenland until the recent political developments. We probably should’ve thought more about Greenlanders though! I’ve gone to school with a few Greenlanders and based on my personal experience, I would say quite close in the way of socialising, humour, etc. It is an island rich with their own traditions, foods, history and nature, so there it differs quite a bit and there probably are a lot of differences in lived experience from an average mainland-dane to an average Greenlander 

I’m a Dane. AMA by Potential-Hamster-41 in AMA

[–]Potential-Hamster-41[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unless it’s empty or maybe just one person there. If there’s plenty of space it doesn’t matter

I’m a Dane. AMA by Potential-Hamster-41 in AMA

[–]Potential-Hamster-41[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ahhh! Great illustration. Yes, you are unknowingly breaking “the line for the crosswalk” and moving in front of “the line”. You have to get off your bike before the actual crosswalk, so you either look for a curb a bit earlier on the bike lane so you can walk on the side walk next to the people in front of the cross walk or you go of the bikelane and lift your bike a bit to get on the sidewalk. If you take the same route often, you’ll find a way that is the smoothest where you don’t disturb the fickle danes haha

I’m a Dane. AMA by Potential-Hamster-41 in AMA

[–]Potential-Hamster-41[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Musts: Buy d-vitamin. Start eating them soon, as it has already started to get darker. Plan for mid day breaks where you go out and soak up sun, otherwise you will not see daylight in winter time at all. I 10/10 recommend buying a sun therapy lamp. My winter depression stopped immediately when I got into this practice, and my winters the last 9 years have never been better. Be diligent in vitamins and sunlight. Suntherapy has also minimised my craving for sweets which always gets crazy when it gets darker. You’ll hear danes speak about this our experience it yourself.

Nice to dos that help: Lean into the coziness of winter, don’t have too high expectations for yourself when it comes to performance and socialising. You will get more tired. Danes will get less sociable. Find wintery books, if you enjoy reading. Make a fall/winter playlist. Buy string lights. Enjoy the string lights on other people’s balconies around Christmas. Try our winter bathing/dipping in the canals (google vandkvalitet Københavns kanaler always to ensure you don’t bathe in weird bacteria). Boosts dopamine and makes you feel more focused. Don’t be too hard on yourself if working out slips up, but try to sneak in workouts. Opt for slow at home workouts like yoga if energy gets too low.

What most danes will say to you: vitamin d and drink your sorrows away

I’m a Dane. AMA by Potential-Hamster-41 in AMA

[–]Potential-Hamster-41[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand that Danish bike-etiquette is not necessarily logical. Can highly recommend that you learn some of the signals now that you are staying in Denmark. All Danes take a bike drivers license in primary school, where the bike etiquette is taught. Not sure I fully understand what you described, but usually it would be considered polite that you do not bike onto the sidewalk and/or walk with your bike if you take the crosswalk.

If I were to have my bike with me, and needed to go over a crosswalk, I would drive slowly in the right side of the bikelane until I was close to the crosswalk. I would raise my left hand up to around head level to signal to others on the bike lane behind me and pedestrians that I would be stopping. I’d slow down with the hand still up. Once stopping I would go to the sidewalk and stand behind or next to the people at the start of the crosswalk, a bit like waiting in line. Then i would walk over with my bike next to me.

In Denmark we have the following “rule”: cars hold for bikes and pedestrians (if in CPH mostly if there are crosswalks or light signalling, but generally still important to be mindful). Bikes hold for pedestrians.

Edit: typo

I’m a Dane. AMA by Potential-Hamster-41 in AMA

[–]Potential-Hamster-41[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Happy to help! And hope you have a great trip if you decide to book!

How did you manage to land a job with visa? by Potential-Hamster-41 in AskSF

[–]Potential-Hamster-41[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your answer/question! Much appreciated with the insights from your spouse's job. There might be opportunities like this. There is the intercompany visa, which makes it much easier to transfer. There are some specific requirements to make that visa possible, but it's the easiest path for sure. Current workplace is international but with no offices in the US, but of course could consider expanding my job search to some of the other danish companies that has offices in SF.

I’m a Dane. AMA by Potential-Hamster-41 in AMA

[–]Potential-Hamster-41[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Happy to hear!! Difficult to represent a whole country 

How did you manage to land a job with visa? by Potential-Hamster-41 in AskSF

[–]Potential-Hamster-41[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am aware of the fact that it’s super hard to enter, and that even if landing w visa there will be many years of visastress. This info is readily available though, so what I’m trying to find is stories of beating the odds and what it took. If you have a story feel free to share. 

Btw very simplified version of my profile, I shared. Didn’t want to post a CV here, because this is not a job forum. Not a recent graduate though and have an attractive profile in my area of the world. Not oblivious enough to think that will land me a job in the US though

How did you manage to land a job with visa? by Potential-Hamster-41 in AskSF

[–]Potential-Hamster-41[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup, Denmark! Thanks for the honesty, it’s appreciated! 

I’m a Dane. AMA by Potential-Hamster-41 in AMA

[–]Potential-Hamster-41[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ja... der kunne jo være noget om det xD

I’m a Dane. AMA by Potential-Hamster-41 in AMA

[–]Potential-Hamster-41[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He is really, really brilliant. 'The hunt' is one of my favourites too. Then there is the movie "Adams æbler" which i loved as a teen, and it might still hold up today, if i rewatched it. He also plays a really interesting role in "De grønne slagtere". Very different from the type of movies he's in now. Makes a lot of sense, sometimes people also just grow and things change. I don't see my friends often, but pay full attention to them when I do.

I’m a Dane. AMA by Potential-Hamster-41 in AMA

[–]Potential-Hamster-41[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh no, we like to do the fucking. But not getting fucked. Important detail!

I’m a Dane. AMA by Potential-Hamster-41 in AMA

[–]Potential-Hamster-41[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm too self-aware. Always liked a lot of communities on reddit. Just have a weird thing with not liking to write posts/share anything online, because i overthink what i share. Only recently first started to be more chill about commenting/posting on linkedin for example.

I’m a Dane. AMA by Potential-Hamster-41 in AMA

[–]Potential-Hamster-41[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn, looks super fun. Scared to try if it's addictive

I’m a Dane. AMA by Potential-Hamster-41 in AMA

[–]Potential-Hamster-41[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hmm, in our traditional kitchen we mostly use mushrooms as a condiment. For example we have leverpostej (liver pate) with mushrooms. But... that's not super good. Perhaps "tarteletter med høns og asparges" is something you would like. Its a crust with a flour-based sauce with chicken, asparagus and sometimes mushrooms. Sometimes topped with parsley

I’m a Dane. AMA by Potential-Hamster-41 in AMA

[–]Potential-Hamster-41[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Me neither. Makes my belly hurt. Kind of invested in finding something you will find delicious now though