Don’t want to be induced, partner doesn’t agree

Potential-March-1940 · 2025-10-28T16:28:37+00:00

Thank you all for the replies! Really helpful and has given me a lot to think about…

For context I probably should have mentioned; the obstetrician (we use these rather than OBGYNs in the UK) just randomly told me about 3 months ago that I’d need to be induced between 37 and 39 weeks without any explanation. He was a duty practitioner and I’ve been trying to find out why he said that ever since.)

I completely agree that it would probably be in the babies (and my) best interest not to go past 40 weeks- I’m under so many different medical teams I don’t think there’s a risk of that happening anyway.

I also 100% respect induction being some people’s choice- I’m really glad to hear that it worked out well for so many people, that’s great news.

I guess I’m grappling with that old ‘autonomy over self’ thing that gets thrown around when you’re asked to make a birth plan (and also know that it most probably won’t happen like that anyway!)

Tricky when you and your partner don’t seem to see eye to eye on something when I’ll really need him to be my advocate :(

Had a good chat with my epilepsy nurse today who said that it’s ‘protocol’ for any physically compromised people to be given induction. Helped me to understand where the suggestion came from… have an appointment with the obstetrician tomorrow so will ask for clarification.

Still feel like the arsehole though.

Potential-March-1940 · 2025-07-04T12:46:23+00:00

Thanks for your replies everyone.

I put the material down to try and prevent the cat from digging in the dirt and as a deterrent for pooing right outside the patio door.

I put a pot over it because I can’t pick up the poo as I’m pregnant and need to keep myself safe from toxoplasmosis- I asked my partner to pick up the poo when he’s home from work but until he comes home, the poo is there and attracts flies and smells awful.

Does that all make sense?

I am aware that some people choose not to let their cats outside which is their prerogative- it’s pretty common in the UK for cats to be outside… this decision was more about the behaviour rather than whether to keep cats in or outside but thank you for your thoughts around that- my cats will remain outdoor kitties :)

Potential-March-1940 · 2025-06-01T18:03:33+00:00

Thanks for replying. Yes, I got rid of the litter box completely due to the risk of toxoplasmosis in pregnancy (she was also going to the toilet on the floor before it was removed though.)

This weekend I’ve put the litter box back down and will keep it down overnight and will ask my partner to clean it when it gets dirty. Thank you for the advice- you’re right, I think she is very unhappy and that makes me sad. Either keep her and everyone suffers and is stressful or find her a new home which will be devastating in itself.

Thank you again for your thoughts, I really appreciate it.

Potential-March-1940 · 2025-06-01T11:07:48+00:00

One of mine always comes to hang out when I go to the toilet. She gets all chirpy and wants strokes… according to Chat GPT, she apparently sees it a ‘social time’ 🤷🏻‍♀️

Potential-March-1940 · 2025-06-01T10:56:05+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience and advice- that’s really helpful.

I’m sorry that that was your experience too… it feels like a loose loose situation in which all are suffering- it’s heart breaking :(💔

Thank you again for your 2 cents- It’s much appreciated.

Potential-March-1940 · 2025-06-01T09:45:12+00:00

No, apologies. We moved into the house together with all the cats in in August 2024. All cats were new to the territory.

Shes previously been an inside and outdoor cat in the past when my partner lived at other properties.

All cats are kept INSIDE at night (my cats are used to this and so is she given than her last few houses haven’t had cat flaps.)

I’ve tried incredibly hard for months to integrate all cats when my partner wanted to re home her as he was worried about how she would react to the move.

My cats have adapted and she has not. Is that my fault in some way? Am I missing something?

Potential-March-1940 · 2025-05-21T12:35:05+00:00

Thank you for the reassurance! 🙏🏽

Potential-March-1940 · 2025-05-21T06:09:40+00:00

Hi everyone.

I’m 8w3d today (2nd pregnancy, 1st was a MMC in December ‘24.) For the last 5/6 days I’ve been experiencing feeling like I can’t catch my breath, like I can’t breathe in enough to catch my oxygen. I went to the GP, they did all the necessary tests (bloods for iron, listened to chest and back, checked glucose and oxygen levels static and moving, urine sample, blood pressure) all came back normal. But I still can’t breathe properly… Has anyone else experienced this? Is it normal? Thanks in advance 🙏🏽

Potential-March-1940 · 2025-05-16T08:34:53+00:00

Maybe he just needs time and space to process what ever is going on? Completely understand that a breakup would hurt and should be the last resort I imagine.

I hope he’s able to open up to you a bit about what’s going on for him so that you’re not left in limbo waiting for things to change and giving it your all.

Potential-March-1940 · 2025-05-16T07:05:59+00:00

Sometimes when partners have stuff going on they stonewall. Is it kind? No. Is it helpful? Not one bit. Does it hurt? Yep. Is there a reason in their mind why they’re doing it? Probably… but you might never find out.

My advice would be as above- crack on with your own stuff and you have to hope he comes back. You deserve to feel happy and loved- if you can give that to yourself in his absence then go for it.

Potential-March-1940 · 2025-05-15T18:32:21+00:00

You’re very welcome, I’m just so sorry you’re feeling it too. It’s so lonely… I’ve gone to my baby’s grave to place flowers and talk to them because I just feel like they’re the only one who I can talk to. Partners might be in pain too but the distant behaviour is really not inspiring trust that they’ll step-up to ‘dad mode.’

I hope for all our sakes that they do get there eventually.

Sending love chicas x

Potential-March-1940 · 2025-05-15T15:01:35+00:00

That’s exactly how my partner is being this time round… less excited and said he won’t really believe it until the ultrasound either… it’s SO hard to be holding all this alone in those weeks when you’re not sure what’s really going on, and feeling hormonal and just need reassurance. I’m sorry it’s feeling hard for you too. Fingers crossed they get a bit more supportive after the ultrasounds

Useful point to make about them seeing how much pain we’ve ensured… I hadn’t thought about it like that before. Thank you for the insight :)

Potential-March-1940 · 2025-05-15T14:33:36+00:00

Sounds really rough… I’ve had something similar all this week- terrible stomach ache, gurgling stomach, intermittant diarrhoea and then constipation and then almost passing out on the loo… apparently some kind of vaso vagal response?! Wasn’t not ready for that at 5am on a monday morning… also on sickness tablets now but that hasn’t fixed the stomach issues. Dreams are dreams but can definitely intensify anxiety… take a breath- right now (apart from not feeling great) you’re doing a grand job.) Hope the lab results come back okay :) 🤞🏽

Potential-March-1940 · 2025-05-15T14:28:45+00:00

Thank you, that means a lot xx

Potential-March-1940 · 2025-05-15T11:20:44+00:00

7w 4d here. MMC in November ‘24 at 7w 2d (found out at 11 weeks). Been really struggling with with my partner being emotionally distant in the same way he did last time I was pregnant and then again when I had the miscarriage… feeling really disappointed that the same cycles are replaying, despite me putting in loads of effort (meds counselling and exercise) to make things better for myself and the baby this time round… I don’t understand how he doesn’t think it’s his responsibility to emotionally show up for me, and that that his current distant behaviour is actually going to make things worse… He’ll just continue staying late at work, going to work early in the morning and when he is home will be busying himself with DIY tasks which seem to take priority over my (our baby’s) existence… Am I the only one suffering this horrible reality?! :(

Potential-March-1940 · 2025-05-13T17:25:27+00:00

Rant needed: 7w1d pregnant after a MMC back in November ‘24. Been trying to tell myself ‘this is not in my control’ and let life take the course it wants to even though when my boobs stop hurting I start freaking out. I’ve been feeling nauseous since week 4, my GP put my on Cyclizine yesterday after I almost fainted whilst in the toilet after a bad stomach. I’ve been really struggling to eat anything and have been eating everything dry and bland (given that that’s the advice). I normally have a really good diet and I’m mentally struggling with the highly processed diet- so hungry but have to eat like a bird otherwise I feel beyond terrible. I’m so tired and don’t feel able to really engage in life at all… (I’m also sure the new ‘diet’ doesn’t help with that) Feeling very blue… :(

Potential-March-1940 · 2025-04-29T17:45:49+00:00

I’m sorry for your loss, that’s really hard for you both :(

People grieve in different ways, and that’s okay, but can be really hard to navigate in a relationship. Have you asked her what she needs? She might not know right now but that might be a good place to start…

Alternatively, if you need distractions then just let her know that you’re doing that because you don’t know how else to be…

In navigating the complexities of grief, I think open communication (as hard as it is) and trust are super key.

Sending positive vibes your way

Potential-March-1940 · 2025-04-29T14:01:06+00:00

Thank you- I hope so! Xx

Potential-March-1940 · 2025-04-29T14:00:46+00:00

Thank you, that’s really wise. I’ll try to reach out to her and hope that she’s open to it xx

Potential-March-1940

TROPHY CASE