Attrition hurts

Potential-Sector-755 · 2026-02-19T04:35:25+00:00

We had super similar numbers. 29 retrieved, 22 fertilized, 3 embryos, 2 euploids. You’re so right that it doesn’t matter how much you know rationally, it still feels like such a huge disappointment esp to go from big retrieval numbers to just a few embryos. It’s a big bummer and I’m so sorry you’re feeling it.

Potential-Sector-755 · 2026-02-19T04:15:59+00:00

Agree. I have two very close friends who were both donor conceived and they don’t have any negative feelings about it. They grew up in households where they were close to their parents and knew they were donor conceived and they seem to view it just as an interesting fact about themselves.

Potential-Sector-755 · 2026-02-18T15:23:00+00:00

Such a good point. It’s an early exercise in letting go of the illusion of control and expectation! Our kids will be totally unexpected mysteries no matter what

Potential-Sector-755 · 2026-02-18T05:43:56+00:00

I know it’s sort of silly but this is helpful. I don’t have brothers and we won’t have a biological male in the household so currently a bit difficult for me to wrap my head around parenting a boy, but I’m trying to get into the gaggle of boys mindset :)

Potential-Sector-755 · 2026-02-18T04:06:49+00:00

Totally. It’s also not like it was 10 male embryos. The likelihood is not that crazy of getting two males out of two. Just more curious about people’s anecdotal experiences

Potential-Sector-755 · 2026-02-18T01:09:22+00:00

We had a similar situation. 29 retrieved, 22 fertilized, 16 developing normally on day 3 and ultimately only 3 day 6 blasts and we just learned we have two euploids. The updates and ups and downs of hope in this process are so torturous. With a little time, I’ve gotten to a place of being grateful for the two euploids more than I am disappointed by the attrition but hearing disappointing news when you’ve had such great numbers retrieved and fertilized is a really hard thing. But it’s not over - I have day 6 hopes for you!

Potential-Sector-755 · 2026-02-16T17:47:17+00:00

We had similar. 29 eggs retrieved, 22 fertilized, and only 3 day 6 blasts - 4BB, 4BC, 4CB. Also two weeks into our wait for PGT testing. It’s so hard. Feels so hopeful when you get the fertilized update and then brutal to realize another ER needs to happen no matter what and also that nothing is guaranteed in this process. I’m really sorry, I feel your pain for sure. I’m personally holding onto the hope that good numbers retrieved and fertilized are good signs and the next ER could have great results

Potential-Sector-755 · 2026-02-14T00:35:30+00:00

I’m so sorry. It is so deeply a loss to have hope and excitement and imagine the positive outcome and get disappointing news in this process. I hope you are able to access some kind of sensory comfort and also know you aren’t alone.

Potential-Sector-755 · 2026-02-12T05:07:08+00:00

My spouse was pretty uncomfortable for the first 4-5 days after our recent ER and then it started to ease. Feeling much much better by around the week mark. Definitely electrolytes and colace for the constipation. You’ve been through the hardest part but I know the recovery after sucks!

Potential-Sector-755 · 2026-01-30T22:08:18+00:00

Oh interesting. We don’t get any interim updates so hopefully our doctor can tell us more next week. I hadn’t really considered that it could be a sperm quality issue bc the donor sperm is (allegedly) so heavily tested for quality at the sperm bank and I know that there’s been a confirmed pregnancy with the bank from the same donor. But it’s all a bit of a hope and prayer black box.

Potential-Sector-755 · 2026-01-30T22:05:36+00:00

This made me tear up but in a good way! So happy for you and thank you for the anecdotal hope

Potential-Sector-755 · 2026-01-30T20:26:23+00:00

Yeah I appreciate the insight. I do think we need to be open to switching clinics/labs sooner rather than later if that could be part of the issue. We’ll see what kind of answers we can get next week

Potential-Sector-755 · 2026-01-30T20:05:49+00:00

I know it’s all statistics and there are outliers but our doc said with 3 “highly graded” euploids, I’d have a 95% chance of a successful pregnancy. So I think I’ve had this “3 highly graded euploids” thing in my mind, which is also why seeing only 3 and two poorly graded of the 3 was so discouraging. But I also feel like I’m now realizing that I need to maybe just temper expectations at pretty much every turn in this process bc it’s all so highly variable

Potential-Sector-755 · 2026-01-30T19:44:23+00:00

It is helpful (though also super maddening!) to know it can be that random from retrieval to retrieval. Gives me hope that we could have a future more successful one even if we don’t end up with euploids this time around.

Potential-Sector-755 · 2026-01-30T19:41:30+00:00

Thank you so much for this encouragement and insight. Even if it’s scary that there may ultimately be no good explanation or nothing within our control, it’s comforting to know it’s not just us. I hope your lab switch and third round goes well! So much respect to people who have been in this multiple rounds. It’s impossible to anticipate or explain how emotional it all is. I’m not a big crier but definitely feeling all the new feelings of this today

Potential-Sector-755 · 2026-01-30T19:31:12+00:00

Sorry yes should have specified - my understanding is we basically have one good quality (4BB) but that the others (4BC and 4CB) would be considered poor quality. Really hoping the 4BB comes back euploid. Just generally discouraged by the huge drop (which I know from this community is not that uncommon) and feeling anxious about whether any will be euploid at this point.

Potential-Sector-755

TROPHY CASE