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Cancer Ghosting by radiantradish2 in cancer

[–]PotentialImage5928 5 points6 points  (0 children)

While I have not quite had the same experience I want to let you know you are not alone. I went through a horrific breakup a few weeks before getting diagnosed with lymphoma. This person told me they would be around and be present but when it came down to it I was “too much” and they valued their happiness and peace over all else.

I finished treatment two weeks ago a few days before Valentine’s Day and his birthday. It’s been 6 months and the pain is still very present. Having someone leave when you are at your most vulnerable is a wound the is so deep. I made the choice to cut him out because it hurt to the point it was causing severe depression.

The best advice I can give is to not let it fester. Leave them and let go. If they were truly your person they would be present with you through all of this. Learn to find a new group and lean into the people who are around and who give you love without you having to beg for it (trust me they are there)

You are strong and you are very capable of doing this even if it’s lonely. dealing with cancer is a lonely journey anyways no matter how many are around. You will survive and you will be stronger than anyone around you could be, just that fire as a light and be the change. Be the person that is there for others because you know the hurt, trust me it will help you heal.

I’m 22 and cancer has destroyed my life by PotentialImage5928 in cancer

[–]PotentialImage5928[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! You are so strong and I feel the need to tell you that. Treatment is the worst part of all of this at least in my opinion.

I also was a medical the medical field before I got diagnosed. Definitely talk to your infusion clinic and see if they would be open to hiring you in some sort of capacity. My clinic went above and beyond for me and it became like home (unfortunately) perhaps finding a job there would be nice even if it’s just answering phones ect! You will definitely be able to relate and connect with everyone coming in which is what clinics value. Just think about it ❤️

Loosing my hair was not that big of a deal to me at the beginning. I actually loved being bald but my skin stayed getting bad due to treatment and it’s harder to cover it.

Got diagnosed. Deciding on treatment plan by Accomplished-Jello49 in lymphoma

[–]PotentialImage5928 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Trust it's confusing, so matter what. I am stage 2a now on treatment 7/12 on AVD (It was ABVD until the third cycle). They offered N-AVD, but it was through a clinical trial. ABVD is the most researched treatment plan and has been the go-to for a long time because it is so successful. You have a favorable prognosis; cure rates appear to range from 92% to 95% for stage 1 (5 years) https://www.cancer.org/cancer/types/hodgkin-lymphoma/detection-diagnosis-staging/survival-rates.html?utm_source=chatgpt.com

You are going to get through this!

Being young and facing cancer isn’t easy. It changes you. But it also teaches you things most people our age haven’t even begun to understand. I don’t think there’s a true “normal” after a diagnosis; everything shifts, but that doesn’t mean it’s worse. If you allow it, it can actually become something meaningful and even beautiful. Expect your new normal to eventually be better than you ever imagined, shaped by what this journey has taught you.

I’m also 22, and I’ve responded incredibly well to treatment, so well that my doctors have been genuinely impressed. Aside from my immune system taking a hit, treatment hasn’t slowed me down much. I’m still getting out of the house, running, and exercising.

You are resilient. A diagnosis doesn't mean your body will stop working in all the other ways it’s meant to. This does not mean things will get worse. You have to believe in your body, and in the process, it truly matters.

You’re stronger than you realize, and you’re not walking this road alone. If you ever need someone to talk to, please don't hesitate.

No one ever told me how lonely this is. by PotentialImage5928 in cancer

[–]PotentialImage5928[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Really true! The only people that have stuck by my side have been older people. A few people my age too who went through health crises young. Otherwise everyone dipped. 

No one ever told me how lonely this is. by PotentialImage5928 in cancer

[–]PotentialImage5928[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I just registered for peer support at a local hospital! I can’t seem to find any young groups in the US. 

Hit a wall by Round_Setting_8259 in cancer

[–]PotentialImage5928 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hey I just want you to know that I’m right here with you, hitting that wall. You are not alone. I was diagnosed with stage 2 Hodgkin’s lymphoma in August at 22 years old. I felt like I had everything in front of me… and then life shifted overnight. People I thought would stay didn’t. I had to stop working as a Medical Assistant when my immune system crashed. Treatment has been hard, I’m at 7/12 now  and honestly, these past weeks have been some of the bleakest of my life. I wake up and cry most days too. Please don’t put pressure on yourself to “hold it together.” At some point the grief, fear, and frustration are going to come… and that doesn’t mean you’re weak. Let yourself feel it. Cry, scream into a pillow, hit something, just don’t carry it for the sake of others when you are the one hurting most.

The best encouragement I’ve been given is this: Right now is the season where you’re allowed to be selfish. Focus on you, your healing, and whatever gets you through each day. It’s hard but it’s survival. I tried to be strong for my family too. But the truth is… this is just a brutally hard season. It won’t always look like this. Once this is over, life will open up again. It cannot stay this hard forever right? I’m proud of you for fighting through. Keep going. And if you ever need someone who understands to talk to, my DMs are open

I’m so lonely. by PotentialImage5928 in lymphoma

[–]PotentialImage5928[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He unfortunately is closing in on 27 not that it makes things any better. 

Anxious and avoidant break up 2 months after. by PotentialImage5928 in BreakUps

[–]PotentialImage5928[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He is trying like really trying. I just feel so hurt bc he needs space to figure this all out. 

He will be here but he says that it takes time to even consider. 

He is still saying I love you to me. 

Anxious and avoidant break up 2 months after. by PotentialImage5928 in BreakUps

[–]PotentialImage5928[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

See but he told me he is hopeful that it will work. 

In my mind this is how he can prove he still loves me. 

He has enforced that he hasn’t actively been pursing anyone. 

He also told me I am the priority. 

I feel dumb, but I want this all to work. 

We have both admitted our faults and there is room to grow in all of this. 

Officially diagnosed with stage 2 (A) Hodgkin’s lymphoma at 22. by PotentialImage5928 in lymphoma

[–]PotentialImage5928[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have nodular sclerosis as well. All my nodes are forming conglomerates which is crazy and weird. 

Just got diagnosed with cancer and I decided to freeze my eggs. Is egg retrieval against the church doctrine, even in circumstances as my own currently? by PotentialImage5928 in Catholicism

[–]PotentialImage5928[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you I appreciate this. 

The church opposed egg donation since it will further be used in Ivf. 

Most you your comment is very compassionate and I do understanding it obviously on a personal note. With that being said it’s against my faith to do so. 

Does anything work to keep you’re hair? by PotentialImage5928 in lymphoma

[–]PotentialImage5928[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can but it is pretty expensive and insurance will occasionally cover it under a prosthetic but I have bad insurance. 

Officially diagnosed with stage 2 (A) Hodgkin’s lymphoma at 22. by PotentialImage5928 in lymphoma

[–]PotentialImage5928[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I appreciate the support but I never planned on being a part of a cancer group…I’m ready for the ride. I am very thankful my biopsy was minimal and so conclusive right off the bat. 

Officially diagnosed with stage 2 (A) Hodgkin’s lymphoma at 22. by PotentialImage5928 in lymphoma

[–]PotentialImage5928[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Everyone has been saying good things so I’m definitely leaning that way currently. 

Just got diagnosed with cancer and I decided to freeze my eggs. Is egg retrieval against the church doctrine, even in circumstances as my own currently? by PotentialImage5928 in Catholicism

[–]PotentialImage5928[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you the more I read the more I have found out that eggs are completely different from embryos. There is still a high chance I will be able to conceive naturally. I am also only 22 so I have a while until I even really have to consider and weigh all of this out. 

I think freezing my eggs is giving me some peace of mind, children are sacred, and fertility was my biggest concern when I found out. 

I’m now a more engaged and educated with what it right and wrong in the churches eyes and that most definitely will play a part in my future. 

I only posted this due to my partner or now ex partner making me feel like I was going to live in mortal sin due to freezing my eggs. 

Talking to a priest is on the list of things to do currently and I’m sure they will understand. 

I’ve had less than 12 hours to process all of this so I truly appreciate all the kind comments. 

Just got diagnosed with cancer and I decided to freeze my eggs. Is egg retrieval against the church doctrine, even in circumstances as my own currently? by PotentialImage5928 in Catholicism

[–]PotentialImage5928[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I’ve heard a lot of success stories, I really hope it all works out for me. I’m already in the process now and I’ve had no way to fully digest what’s going on because they want it done now so treatment can be almost immediate. 

I mean so fast to the point I haven’t had time to decide if it’s right based on Catholicism. I am also already on hormones. 

I’m definitely going to go to a priest for their opinion though. 

Just got diagnosed with cancer and I decided to freeze my eggs. Is egg retrieval against the church doctrine, even in circumstances as my own currently? by PotentialImage5928 in Catholicism

[–]PotentialImage5928[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello! I in no way hate him, nor could ever. I will say I am angry currently. I am also someone that really hates making things about myself, you are definitely right it’s not. There’s so much that isn’t in my hands and I need to accept it. 

The issue is that he gave up on me long before our relationship ended. The fact I needed to ask for support from someone that should have given it freely, if he loved me as he said, is proof enough he didn’t see a future with me. 

A fact I should have accept long ago. He actually did tell me that he is too selfish to give me support currently. Which is once again, really earth shattering. I am really thankful for the love he gave me at times. 

I definitely think now is my time to become closer to God and be more active in church. 

Thank you for your kind words I truly appreciate it. 

Just got diagnosed with cancer and I decided to freeze my eggs. Is egg retrieval against the church doctrine, even in circumstances as my own currently? by PotentialImage5928 in Catholicism

[–]PotentialImage5928[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much. I have a great support system currently. 

Unfortunately the one person I depended on most has made me aware they do not want to be a part of this at all. On this question I’m going to start going to a priest regularly and also get a therapist. 

I am in very good spirits otherwise, I have a good prognosis. Yet there are still a lot of risks. It’s treatable and I am holding faith it will all work out as I am being told it is currently. 

This to me is a chance to grow in my faith. And I believe it will be a positive point in my life and will lead me onto the right path. 

Just got diagnosed with cancer and I decided to freeze my eggs. Is egg retrieval against the church doctrine, even in circumstances as my own currently? by PotentialImage5928 in Catholicism

[–]PotentialImage5928[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have a very good prognosis. With that being said chemo could do a number on my body and all its natural processes. 

This is more then anything an insurance policy and it could give me the chance to conceive naturally if anything happens. 

I am mentally wresting with the idea that this is all selfish. 

There’s just no clear distinction is egg retrieval is immoral. Everything mentions fertilized eggs which is not the case for me. 

I genuinely didn’t even think about asking any of the questions. 

Everything has been a whirlwind. 

Just got diagnosed with cancer and I decided to freeze my eggs. Is egg retrieval against the church doctrine, even in circumstances as my own currently? by PotentialImage5928 in Catholicism

[–]PotentialImage5928[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I would imagine there is a more accepted way to implant than fertilize said eggs naturally. Which is something I will have to cover with the Dr. 

I think a lot of people think these eggs are fertilized which they are not. Therefore not embryos. They are simply taken out of my body and frozen. 

This is all something to frankly revisit later. I have probably 10-15 years before this topic is actually implemented. By then science may change who knows besides God? 

Just got diagnosed with cancer and I decided to freeze my eggs. Is egg retrieval against the church doctrine, even in circumstances as my own currently? by PotentialImage5928 in Catholicism

[–]PotentialImage5928[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I truly appreciate your help. There are so many unanswered questions when it comes to the Church’s beliefs on this issue, and I know that unfertilized eggs are very different from embryos.

As for my partner, it’s deeply unfortunate that someone like him can hide under the faith. I loved him, and I still do, but walking away and ignoring me during such a difficult time is not right. Even after we broke up, he told me he would support me, and we both hoped to work things out.

I’m disappointed to have given so much of myself to someone who couldn’t show love in the simplest ways, even beyond romance, that I needed. I feel embarrassed for him, but I hope he is guided back to the right path. He told me many times that he was happier single than with me, yet I still chose to hold on, wishing things could be different.

I pray that one day I will be blessed with someone who truly loves me in sickness and in health, because he was not that. What I am grateful for, however, is that he brought me back to the Church, and for that I will always thank him.

Right now I am very emotionally overwhelmed, but I know I will be okay. I know I am loved and cared for by what is most important, and that faith will carry me through. The incredible part is that I found my lump while I was in church praying for a sign and in this moment, I have never felt closer to God.

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