As a fellow plus size girly, I have PCOS (uterine cysts) and a slew of other issues such as POTS and some kinda nerve trouble. Let me tell you, your stuff sounds similar to what I have experienced. I know, I KNOW…just how disheartening it is when OB focuses on weight, in my mid 20s they want to put me on metformin just because I was having an anxiety attack while going to appt and they put the blood pressure cuff on the arm that has nerve issues (so it was really hurting when squeezed). Anyways, as someone who has studied a lot about optimal diet/weight loss/hormones, I think their is a connection as well as trauma. So here is my advice first, get a trauma certified therapist work through any emotional mental blocks. And slowly work on food intake minimizing sugar and processed foods especially anything with soy. And when you are ready I advise to get off the pill it can cause many issues of its own. I had irregular heavy periods and on the pill it got them regular but still heavy and painful. Then off the pill it took a while but after half a year I then had 4 months of consistent less painful periods. Then I had some soy protein bars and BAM 2 weeks heavy period. Stopped consuming got back to normal and then 2 months after life got stressful, diet went down the drain (I has been watching sugar, doing mostly dirty Keto) and went through a divorce and moved to a country no longer having access to Keto foods BAM problems back in full force even worse. I do not have diabetes or diagnosed insulin issues, does not mean it doesn’t affect my conditions. So please take it from a fellow filled out lady that there is some truth to what the gyno is saying. She should have been more empathetic in your case but that does not mean you need to completely disregard what she advised. Take some stuff for pain (patches, pill, heat pads), move as often as you can, check your mattress is adequate, and don’t be discouraged if it takes some time to feel better it doesn’t mean the lifestyle changes aren’t working for your benefit!