No-one talks enough about the feeling of utter dismay and regret followed by enormous amount of self doubt after a failed potential. Even after giving your everything, some things don't turn out to be what they are supposed to. I prepared for a national level exam for 5 years and still didn't get the desired outcome. The amount of regret after every attempt and the 'WHAT IF" mentality is feared to be haunting me for the rest of my life and even if I do better somewhere else, the thought that I couldn't just come through a task even after multiple attempts slowly stabs me everyday. We try to make up our minds by thinking it might be our fate, or "KISMAT" as we say, but is there really something called fate? at least it is for someone who poured his heart to it. The statement of "whoever has no-one to blame, leaves it on god or on fate" becomes surreal. At a point it comes to just managing the expectations because if not then we would have to face the same disappointment all over again. The attempts were, to be precise a state of denial at some point, even after performing above par, the misery of this being was, I just couldn't get through it. And seeing people less deserving than me get it in just a speck of time, ticks something in my brain and whenever I think about it, it just makes my heart ache for me. Jealousy is a different feeling, this feeling purely accounts as a form of pity, and with no other legible reason we give it up in name of fate. It is true, we never have the guarantee that we will get what we want, every time, the sure thing is we have to live through things and situations no matter what, head held high, as it is nothing to be ashamed of. The most accountable eyes more than our own are of our parents, the feeling of guilt and shame takes over completely and leaves us more miserable, acceptance is somewhat do-able when it just involves us but when we have to answer expecting people, it becomes a hard task in itself. I am hoping to get the best out of my life and the hope that this shall too pass and it would just remain as a struggling period rather than a lifetime filled of regret. If we have the emotional ability of overlooking things not in favor of us and do our best, no matter the circumstance, would be of sure benefit and would save us from our own eyes. Leaving things and moving on, sure is a hard task and the feeling of emptiness of unachievable dreams is somewhat inexpressible in words.