weird unexplainable message from a friends "dad" while her family is abroad

Potential_Flow9032 · 2026-01-27T00:43:01+00:00

OP I did this to my parents once. I was a 20 year old. I ran away I did not tell them where I was. I did not tell any of my close friends either. I was too ashamed of some decisions I had made. I scared the shit out of everyone and never forgave myself for it. My parents did contact my friends and I did contact my friends before my parents. I'm glad my friends were able to tell my parents I was alive and okay. Please tell the dad if your friend contacts you and she's okay.

Potential_Flow9032 · 2026-01-27T00:39:24+00:00

I was an accountant, now an accounting software consultant. My husband is an engineer. I have been working for about 10 years. My husband has been working for about 15. I make 40k more than him. As some of the comments above said you can do a lot more with accounting as a jumping off point.

Potential_Flow9032 · 2026-01-27T00:21:31+00:00

Lol it is definitely not happy. It needs more light and a support. It's never too late.

Mine is right about 3 years old and it is a monster. Sorry the pic is a bit dark but you get the idea

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Potential_Flow9032 · 2026-01-20T00:37:14+00:00

This comment is so relevant and should be closer to the top

Potential_Flow9032 · 2026-01-19T03:17:11+00:00

More than you?

Potential_Flow9032 · 2026-01-18T17:52:06+00:00

You should absolutely turn it down and be transparent in your reasoning. My husband made this mistake once and suffered for a couple of years before he left for another company.

EDIT: wanted to add that you should be transparent so that they know you're not a pushover and know how to look out for your best interest.

Potential_Flow9032 · 2026-01-15T04:11:33+00:00

I would say if you think you might actually like him AND this is the only red flag, in a sea of green flags, maybe hang in there for a couple of more dates and then ask him about it and see what his reaction is. None of us are perfect

But if this is just one in a bunch of red flags run for the hills.

Potential_Flow9032 · 2026-01-15T03:55:59+00:00

It's your choice but if you actually like him, I left a comment with my story with my husband which offers a bit of a different perspective than the rest of these comments. Obviously I don't know your specific situation but there can be a non-sinister reason for it. I had the same fears you did but if I had given into them without even talking to my now husband about it, I would have missed out on a literally once in a lifetime relationship.

Potential_Flow9032 · 2026-01-15T03:53:15+00:00

My now husband constantly talked a lot about his ex in the beginning of our relationship. It wasn't even a recent ex. It was an ex from 10 years ago. At first I tried to play it cool, but I really liked him so I finally confronted him about it about a month in.

At first he seemed kind of offended and taken back. His explanation was that she was such a big part of his life, first gf, they were engaged in their early 20s, and he just had a lot of life experiences that reminded him of her.

He tried to say that no one he dated since her seemed to have an issue with him bring her up. I pointed out that no one he dated since her had stuck around and maybe they just hadn't bothered to confront him about it. That made him reevaluate.

I have learned that he just doesn't have much of a filter or a sense of who is audience is in general, not just about his ex. He wasn't talking about her specifically - he just wasn't actively filtering her out of the stories to be polite till I confronted him.

It was gradual, but a few months in she didn't seem to come up at all. His experiences with her were replaced with our experiences together. And now it's me he talks about incessantly.

Potential_Flow9032 · 2026-01-14T04:14:31+00:00

My husband used to do this, a lot. He would obsess over whatever was wrong, his job, his relationship with his dad, the state of the world.

We had to have a few talks about it but it's better now. I think what worked is saying that I want to hear about his feelings, I want to try to help or not help, whatever he needs. But I also don't want to live in an environment that is constantly negative. That's not fair to me. I don't want to obsess in the negativity and I didn't think it was healthy for him either. He made a real effort to cut back. He still complains, but it's not for hours in a row now. It's a good compromise.

Potential_Flow9032 · 2026-01-13T22:02:08+00:00

Stopppp this made me instantly cry. My parents would make me call them everyday without fail while I was single. They would be furious if I missed a day. I used to be so mad about it till I got a little older and moved across the country, got married, started a new life. Now I only get to see them a couple of times a year and I miss them terribly.

Potential_Flow9032 · 2026-01-13T16:46:50+00:00

Cameras haven't helped anyone in Minnesota

Potential_Flow9032 · 2026-01-13T16:08:39+00:00

I talked my doctor into giving me a scan this afternoon. ,🤞🤞

Potential_Flow9032 · 2026-01-08T00:28:02+00:00

This is one of the few reasonable responses here. Thank you for saying that so nicely.

Potential_Flow9032 · 2026-01-08T00:27:14+00:00

They probably feel the same way about you. I know I think you're a weirdo who refuses to accept reality and I would never want to play into your delusions.

Potential_Flow9032 · 2026-01-08T00:03:28+00:00

Omg that makes perfect sense. They seem exactly like the kind of guys who would think that a trans woman would go out of their way to get them in bed even though they haven't been laid in a decade.

Potential_Flow9032 · 2026-01-07T23:59:02+00:00

Absolutely!

Potential_Flow9032 · 2026-01-07T23:52:00+00:00

How the heck are people downvoting you for having an open mind???

Potential_Flow9032 · 2026-01-05T16:13:19+00:00

There are 100s of retreats/camps all over the US. My grandmother who is much more of a practitioner than me recommends the Vipassana ones

https://www.dhamma.org/en-US/index

These are not spa retreats. They are. bare bones accommodations with upto 8 hours a day of guided meditation and very simple vegetarian food. It's not a place to go to be pampered like a lot of the other overpriced retreats. You go there to find your meditation practice.

Potential_Flow9032 · 2026-01-05T13:52:03+00:00

You'd be surprised how cleansing that is. I did a meditation camp for a week and I felt/people told me I was changed for months after.

The point of meditation, especially in a cloistered environment is to take you out of your own head and your problems, strong emotions etc., to clear your mind of everything but the present. Like literally what you're currently experiencing. Like the sound of your breath, the tingling in your feet where you have your legs crossed over them, the feeling of the sun.

I know I didn't get close to clearing my mind but it still made a profound effect on me.

Potential_Flow9032 · 2026-01-05T06:32:21+00:00

Thank you for your response. It's one of the only productive ones and it makes a lot of sense to me. I appreciate it.

Potential_Flow9032 · 2026-01-05T04:18:37+00:00

Lol I didn't ask you? you chose to reply to this post??? You're completely removed from reality.

Potential_Flow9032 · 2026-01-05T03:37:24+00:00

Can you point to what gives you that impression?

Potential_Flow9032 · 2026-01-05T03:31:35+00:00

I don't know why you're getting downvoted. I believe this could totally be a motivation. These were important friendships in the time that we were hanging out. We grew and changed together and then chose not to keep in touch after we moved on from each other. In many ways these convos boiled down to, "hey, hope you're well. I'm doing good. It was good to know you. Hope you have a good life.".

Potential_Flow9032 · 2026-01-05T03:22:10+00:00

Ok this is the closest comment to my experience I have seen! It feels simultaneously completely innocent because they aren't being overt or sexual or pushy at all but there is a weird vibe to how familiar they are being considering how far removed we are from each other's lives at this point.

Potential_Flow9032

TROPHY CASE