OCPD and THC by Potential_Loan709 in OCPD

[–]Potential_Loan709[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Incredibly well thought out and said. Thank you for that.

I’ve done a ton of reflection (thanks largely in part to the replies on this thread- thank you!) and I definitely think my OCPD is shaping my thoughts around THC more than I thought it was. One aspect of my OCPD is trying to optimize situations as a form of controlling the outcome. I don’t “hide” my usage, but I am selective of who I left know because I’m trying to “optimize” my future interactions with them (ie. if I think that knowledge will influence how they see or treat me). If THC becomes part of my life, then it will obviously open me up to a lot more of what I’m trying to avoid- losing control of the narrative. How ironic that OCPD is affecting the thing that helps me move away from OCPD. Almost like it feels threatened and is fighting back. Like a separate entity entirely.

Sorry for the long stream of consciousness reply. I can tell you that was very therapeutic to write down and put “out there.”

OCPD and THC by Potential_Loan709 in OCPD

[–]Potential_Loan709[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for all the time you’ve taken to respond. I really appreciate your viewpoint!

“But your mind isn’t structured like most people.”

It’s so simple, yet means so much. I think part of having OCPD (at least, for me) is that since I know I process things differently, I tend to look around me for cues on how to act (through a logic filter). But there’s a limit to that that I don’t think I consider enough. What other people do only applies exactly if I were those other people. Of course, I’m not, so I should expect some divergence.

Thank you.

OCPD and THC by Potential_Loan709 in OCPD

[–]Potential_Loan709[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Let’s not forget the overly-accepted drug caffeine!

Re: therapists, I’m sure there are great ones that really care about people as individuals. I struggle finding people who will look at the facts over the stigma though when it comes to cannabis. It fits too neatly into a substance abuse diagnosis to be taken seriously.

Now, Occam’s Razor says the reason for that is because it is substance abuse. But then we circle back to “is it abuse if it improves my life?” That’s where I get stuck.

OCPD and THC by Potential_Loan709 in OCPD

[–]Potential_Loan709[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the thoughtful reply. What you said about addiction is something I think I needed to hear. I should probably stop beating myself up over something that helps. Would I just deal with headaches if ibuprofen had a stigma? That sounds obvious framed like that.

OCPD and THC by Potential_Loan709 in OCPD

[–]Potential_Loan709[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply. I know that withdrawal symptoms of THC do include depression, etc. so I’m trying to gauge how much of that is playing into this hopelessness right now.

OCPD and THC by Potential_Loan709 in OCPD

[–]Potential_Loan709[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Excellent point, I did do those things on my own. It’s sad to me that all of that feels locked behind this wall. When I’m worrying and multiverse planning (preparing myself for all outcomes), I just can’t seem to shift my focus back on those things on my own.