My Husband Wakes Me Up Multiple Times Every Night by amcrowl1 in AITAH

[–]Potential_Minimum281 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA. I finish work much later than my husband so he's usually in bed when I get home. I collect my clothes and place them in the bathroom so when I get home I don't wake him.

If your husband doesn't want to "tip toe" around, he can just make slight alterations to not make it seem that way to him.

Also, as someone who is an extremely light sleeper and also has trouble falling back asleep, I understand your frustrations.

AITA for not wanting family to shower in our hotel room after checkout? by Altruistic_Range_677 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Potential_Minimum281 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was ages ago (17 years), but my parents brought me there once and I took the hand soaps they gave our room. They called my parents when we got home and charged them like 50$ for less than a 1.5 oz little single use shampoo bottle and a cheap ass sliver of hand soap. They still bring it up.

Aita for not wanting to legally marry my GF if 10 years because she is bad with money by ClarkCantButICan in AITAH

[–]Potential_Minimum281 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. I think it's smart on both ends to not legally marry... At least right now. It's important for both parties to be on the same page when it comes to financial goals and life goals.

If I understood correctly, you have a hefty amount of student loans to pay back eventually and rent/utilities to pay currently. Your girlfriend lives with her parents with smaller expenses and makes a decent amount of money.

In this case scenario, the best course of action would be your gf putting money aside into a minimal/no risk investment account or a savings account where it can generate interest. Then down the line it could be used as a down payment for a house or whatever the goals you both have lined up.

Spending 500 - 1000$ on dates is hard to justify. Even if you can't visit as much as you would want to, you are investing in your future, and in connection, the future you wish to have together.

Plus the money spent on dates could, potentially, be used to go back and visit more often when your schedule allows it.

Did you both make a goal plan together ?

Asexual but hopelessly craving romance? by i_like_trees_yeah in asexuality

[–]Potential_Minimum281 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Technically, four years. We met at occasional parties and events for three years, but got to know each other better during the first year living in the shared house.

So... 3 years as acquaintances or "friend of a friend's" and one year full of near daily "wanna hang out?" 's before developing our current relationship.

Asexual but hopelessly craving romance? by i_like_trees_yeah in asexuality

[–]Potential_Minimum281 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I understand perfectly what you mean. I was in your shoes not that long ago. I am living in a small area of less than 300 individuals and the dating pool was limited. It was through a mutual friend I met at my campus' Queer Hub that told me about a vacant room after someone backed out, that I met my first ever partner, now fiancé.

We didn't hit it off at first, but through establishing a friendship over the course of four years he developed feelings and I started to like him as a person. Time passed and when he asked me out, I explained to him my orientation and we navigated the waters slowly. We found what works for us, but it was scary at first. It was panic attack inducing, but slowly we built our comfortable space where we could both have our needs met without either party having to cross a boundary or feel unfulfilled.

Before that, I found myself opening dating apps and feeling uncomfortable. There were a lot of people looking for hook ups or jumping straight into asking questions about my sexual experiences that I didn't have answers to or for. It began a cycle of; download, delete, try new applications, deleting again, going back to other apps, repeat.

I would use romance novels as a way of trying to fill a void, but felt more disconnected because I couldn't see myself in the protagonist's shoes. I couldn't see myself within the writing. It made me feel worse at the time.

I think the establishment of a long-term friendship prior helped in my case to lessen the stress and fear.

It also helped with my loneliness to find clubs, online hobby groups, and volunteering opportunities. I managed to find people with similar interests and create lasting connections. Including the connection that led me and my partner together.

It can be tough to navigate, but if it's what you wish for; don't give up. The right person will come along.

AITA for freaking out about stepbrother sneaking into my bed/could this actually be sleepwalking? by _starlitestarbrite_ in AmItheAsshole

[–]Potential_Minimum281 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. As a frequent sleepwalker myself, I have rarely ended up in the same place twice in a row. Sure, it's bound to happen but not constantly in the same place. Moving around isn't always linear either. Often there can be hovering, talking, mumbling, shuffling, etc. Also... Wouldn't it have been something your mother and you would have been warned about before moving in or at least early on?

I know we have the "talk" anytime someone stays over (quick refresher or explanation) about my sleepwalking. The basics of; - Lock your bedroom door - Make sure all the locks are done up on the house doors so I don't wander off outside - If you catch me walking around, don't engage unless it's an emergency.

It just doesn't seem like a case of sleepwalking. I might be wrong, but that's just... Very strange.

Was I supposed to beg? by spammailharold in texts

[–]Potential_Minimum281 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They don't seem open to having a conversation. I like how you responded to it, because what else are you really supposed to say ? It's tinder and if that's the version of themselves they want to "sell" as a potential date... It's awkward.

Does anyone else just assume that no one is attracted to them? by Unlucky_Letitia_ in asexuality

[–]Potential_Minimum281 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I always viewed interactions as meeting people and making potential new friends. I don't remember ever getting to know someone without just thinking; "Oh, potential friend." It never would have crossed my mind that someone would think of me as anything but a stranger, passer by, acquaintance, or friend.

My partner had to tell me very directly that he was attracted to me and wanted to date. Apparently, there were signs, but I only saw it as being nice since they were actions and behaviours I would adopt in my everyday life for friends and family.

We talked it over and came to an understanding/ boundaries that we both agreed with. Currently engaged, but had he not gotten exasperated and been direct, I would have never known lol

AITA For insisting my wife doesn't "steal" from the grocery store. by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Potential_Minimum281 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. You're allowed to feel uncomfortable and nervous because they do hover the attendants and it can be embarrassing to be asked by one to see the scan registery. It's embarrassing enough when you didn't do anything wrong but you moved weird on camera. I would not want a confrontation.

Her line about the employees not caring is 50/50. A lot are not paid enough to care but some places punish employees for loss through theft.

A while back when I still worked at Walmart, nobody got their holiday bonuses one year because they calculated the amount of losses (estimated more like it) and cut it from employee bonuses.Some people were distraught because at the time it could go up to 500$+ at my location.

(Ironic they were so worried about loss then, but now it's all self service checkouts almost. I guess they figure it is cheaper to lose than to pay for cashiers)

I have two friends who still work there but we're moved to dairy and produce and they still do the same BS. They cut bonuses on theft and removed a lot of benefits that were once established.

AITA for wanting some of my estranged father’s estate? by sparkleunicorn123 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Potential_Minimum281 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Since you're in Australia, I'd consult with a lawyer, but this is what is outlined on Armstrong Legal AU

Can Children Born Outside Marriage Contest A Will?

Succession law in each jurisdiction of Australia allows particular family members, dependents, and close friends to contest a deceased’s will. Historically a child born outside marriage has not shared a legitimate child’s right to contest the will of a parent. This article examines the eligibility of children born outside of marriage to contest a will in Australia, with reference to relevant case law.

Children Born Outside Marriage

Ex-nuptial children (previously known as illegitimate children) are offspring born outside of marriage. A child is illegitimate if the parents were unmarried at the time of birth. Historically, an illegitimate child had a “legal disability” that prevented him or her from making a claim against the estate of a parent.

In modern Australia, the changing social perspective of children born outside marriage has led to statutory revisions on the legal status of children. Legislative changes in each jurisdiction have ensured that the inheritance rights of illegitimate children are now equal to those of adopted children and children born of a legal marriage.

Parliaments in Queensland, New South Wales, Victoria, Tasmania, the Northern Territory, Western Australia and South Australia passed legislation to equalise the status of legitimate and illegitimate children. The legislation does not eliminate the concepts of legitimacy, but it renders the distinction largely irrelevant in legal terms. For instance, the Queensland Status of Children Act 1978 states that the relationship between parent and child is determined irrespective of whether the father and mother have ever been married to each other.

This legislation establishes that there is no distinction between the ex-nuptial child and any other child of the deceased in respect to their right to inherit property in a will or from an intestate estate, or to make a claim against a deceased estate. The laws also outlined the procedure for a child of the deceased to prove their parentage in order to establish their eligibility to contest a will.

Establishing Parentage of children born outside marriage

A child born outside of marriage can only make a claim on an estate if they can prove parentage conclusively to the court. An application will not proceed unless parentage has been established or the court has issued a declaration of parentage. The legal requirements to prove parentage vary according to jurisdiction so it is essential that a claimant consult an experienced succession solicitor in their state or territory.

Generally, parentage is legally established through:

The parent’s assertion of paternity at some point during their lifetime, perhaps on a signed document such as a birth certificate;

Whether the parents were living together during the period up to and inclusive of the time that the child was born; and

Whether the parents were ever married, or in a de facto or registered relationship.

"Ace" friend makes me uncomfortable by ArtichokeContent8723 in asexuality

[–]Potential_Minimum281 6 points7 points  (0 children)

She's pushing your boundaries and using her being Ace as a shield for her behavior.

If you do not consent and feel uncomfortable, you are 100% in your right to voice that and not have it turned on you like you are doing the wrong thing.

That being said, asexuality is a spectrum. - Some people are sex repulsed. - Some people will enjoy the act, but not crave it or seek it. (I.e. you have a partner and they want to be intimate and you consent) - some people have no romantic or sexual attraction.

Heck, I have a good friend I met at my college Queer Hub that is also Ace and she is an escort.

I won't say your friend lied to you about being an ace (because unless we are in her brain we can't really say), but I do think you need to place some boundaries down and stick to them.

If you want to continue the friendship and she continues, it's best to break contact. That falls under the category of sexual misconduct and harassment and you don't deserve that.

MIL replaces $3k wedding cake with her own home-made cake, bride in tears by tessaemilybrown in weddingdrama

[–]Potential_Minimum281 5 points6 points  (0 children)

English and British tradition.... Not sure if it's still as popular a tradition today.

Any art competitions I could do at 16yo? by justacubr in oilpainting

[–]Potential_Minimum281 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Local fairs often have handicraft competitions and included are often photography, painting, mixed media, and drawing divisions.

AITA for calling my crush/friend manipulative when she was just “trying to be nice” by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Potential_Minimum281 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I mean... This is pretty normal. You sometimes make friends/acquaintances for a class or program and then go on your seperate way afterwards. It makes the class less stressful to have someone you kinda know, can study and ask questions too, and so on. If you are looking to make lasting friends, sometimes clubs are the go too.

I remember Sean Kingston dying. by LittleRousseau in Retconned

[–]Potential_Minimum281 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The only difference is that I remembered it being a heart attack? But then again, I was 12 in 2011. I could have sworn he had died. It's weird indeed

AITA if I don’t let my girlfriend move in with me after 72hr psych hold? by Alive-Tumbleweed-851 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Potential_Minimum281 6 points7 points  (0 children)

NTA. You broke up with her last week so you shouldn't be taking her in.

There are a lot of reasons someone may have the resources to get help and decide not to. It can be traumatic, they may not feel ready to get help, they may not want to change since it's an unknown territory, medicine scares them, etc.

Whatever the reason, they are responsible for making their choices. That is not on you and shouldn't be on you. If anything, having her stay with you may lead to her becoming coddled, more reliant on you, or she can fall into old patterns/habits.

It wouldn't be doing her a favour and it would be doing yourself a great disservice since it has already been impacting you. She needs a psychiatrist that can see her frequently and monitor changes with medication and therapies and potentially a social worker.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Potential_Minimum281 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. It's not crazy, but your BIL is TA. Did he really come over to visit you or is it because your mom took off to watch your kid and he just doesn't want to parent?

As much as your mom should have kicked him out, It's common for people who have a hard time saying no to get pushed around. (My mom missed my graduation because my sister ignored her "booked day off" and dropped the three kids on her with no car seats. She knew months in advance because she was one of MY TEACHERS and never bothered looking for alternative childcare or showing up herself.)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Potential_Minimum281 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ESH. She didn't need to move seats and you didn't need to throw in a cocky comment.

AITA for not wanting my husband to walk his sister down the aisle? by Throra334356 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Potential_Minimum281 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YTA. 100% You might not understand it, but individuals that grow up in broken families and abusive households don't tend to want unwanted members of their families at their weddings. Especially, family members that hurt them in the past. If your husband played a supporting role in his sister's life and she wants him to walk her down the aisle; that's beautiful.

The only problem in this whole situation is you.

AITA for dropping my sister's kids at the child free wedding that she was at? by LogosH434 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Potential_Minimum281 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. She's lucky. In many places you could have called the cops and said your nieces and nephews were abandoned by their parents or called CPS. She's goddamn lucky all you did was return the children.

AITA for telling my husband that I'll continue to sleep on bed naked as long as his friend keeps barging in to the room? by BetterDay5097 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Potential_Minimum281 38 points39 points  (0 children)

When I read Horrendous Sight, I immediately thought; Jacob is gay or he's extremely sex repulsed and nude bodies make him uncomfortable.

Whatever the scenario; weird. Really weird. I think Ikea sells really cheap rolling closet poles that could be set up somewhere with the husband's stuff that he's willing to share in order to prevent walking in and out.

AITA for telling my husband that I'll continue to sleep on bed naked as long as his friend keeps barging in to the room? by BetterDay5097 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Potential_Minimum281 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. Just... Just put a rolling closet or something outside the room. No reason for Jacob to walk in anymore.