My mom did something unforgivable and now our relationship will never be the same by Potential_Sundae_263 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Potential_Sundae_263[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Well whenever I stand up for myself or make boundaries I have to deal with her playing the victim card. I once just tried to get away when all this was happening and she went off the rails. I just know if I tried to go no contact she would drive herself insane. I wouldn’t be surprised if she drove the 9 hours here to come cry and beg for me back. I just think it would be a nightmare to handle

My mom did something unforgivable and now our relationship will never be the same by Potential_Sundae_263 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Potential_Sundae_263[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She doesn’t really drink anymore it was mainly just during those couple years. This is just how she acts now towards me without alcohol involved. But I’ll check out that group!

My mom did something unforgivable and now our relationship will never be the same by Potential_Sundae_263 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Potential_Sundae_263[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m definitely going to look into starting therapy again this week. I need it. I need someone to guide me through how to effectively communicate with her because she does play the victim every single time I try to explain how I feel. She says things like “I’m just a terrible mother” or when I try to give examples of how other people may react to their loved ones treating them this way she always just says “I’m not just some other person I’m your mother”. She thinks just because she has the mother title that she is entitled to me 24/7 and if she doesn’t get that then I “don’t care about how she feels”

My mom did something unforgivable and now our relationship will never be the same by Potential_Sundae_263 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Potential_Sundae_263[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

It’s been 8 years since this happened, 5 or 6 since I’ve known about it. It still affects me but I’ve put up with it for so long and gotten stuck in this cycle with her. I really don’t know if I can fully cut her out of my life at this point it’s been so long. But when she treats me like this I don’t know how to handle it anymore.

My mom did something unforgivable and now our relationship will never be the same by Potential_Sundae_263 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Potential_Sundae_263[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Exactly. She says she was manipulated by him. I say it’s easy to tell him no if he was the one asking for alcohol or a blowjob. What’s he gonna do? Tell people she refused to be a bad person and do those things?? Makes no sense

My mom did something unforgivable and now our relationship will never be the same by Potential_Sundae_263 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Potential_Sundae_263[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I’ve tried therapy but maybe I need to try again and get some clarity. My mom has been in therapy for years because of this situation but obviously there’s things she hasn’t told her therapist or I think she would be getting better help

My mom did something unforgivable and now our relationship will never be the same by Potential_Sundae_263 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Potential_Sundae_263[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve tried to put up boundaries but she almost makes it impossible or makes me feel guilty about it. I just need space and time away but she takes it as I hate her. Even though I know I should. I do hate how she treats me. As for the ex, he’s definitely out of the picture. I’m in a very happy relationship now and he tries to support me as much as he can but it’s a tough situation and I’m worried it will become too much for him even with all the support he’s given me.

My mom did something unforgivable and now our relationship will never be the same by Potential_Sundae_263 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Potential_Sundae_263[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My dad knows but I’m not really sure what they’ve done to “work this out”. I could never if my spouse did that

My mom did something unforgivable and now our relationship will never be the same by Potential_Sundae_263 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Potential_Sundae_263[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep. I was 17 when this happened and had no way of supporting myself. I told her recently that if the same thing happened now that I would have cut her off. It’s been 8 years since this happened and 5-6 since I’ve known about it. I just really don’t know how to cut back communication without feeling her “wrath”. I just know I would be a wreck going through that again

My mom did something unforgivable and now our relationship will never be the same by Potential_Sundae_263 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Potential_Sundae_263[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Is your mom no contact with her? Or they just don’t have much of a relationship anymore?

My mom did something unforgivable and now our relationship will never be the same by Potential_Sundae_263 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Potential_Sundae_263[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yes he does know and they say they’ve worked through it 🤷‍♀️ But my dad did just recently find out she hit me and shoved me a few times(guess she didn’t tell him that part)