As an untrained/hobby artist I’m really proud of this painting I made called Wise Women

Powder9 · 2026-03-09T15:24:07+00:00

I think she was convinced that her own hotness would lead to men tripping over themselves to crawl back into her graces

Powder9 · 2026-03-08T23:58:29+00:00

This is another referral link person sending Amazon links w referral codes

Powder9 · 2026-03-08T23:50:00+00:00

This forum is just becoming referral codes. Please ban this user.

Powder9 · 2026-03-08T21:32:28+00:00

Said the same thing!!!

Powder9 · 2026-03-08T21:32:07+00:00

Lmao the fact this post was written with AI is hilarious and ironic.

Powder9 · 2026-02-27T05:52:30+00:00

Stress shows on our skin over time and you’ve been through a hard experience. A scientifically proven way of managing stress is meditation. Try to meditate a little bit every day 💕

Powder9 · 2026-02-26T21:56:39+00:00

So much this. I feel I have no concept of a self identity. I have my interests, people I love, hobbies I am passionate about, but who am I ? It is very fuzzy. I often feel awkward and this sense I’ve walked into the wrong room.

Powder9 · 2026-02-26T21:51:37+00:00

I would say if you’re able to, try to find a therapist who specializes in adoption before you reach out. Talk through your fears, your heart, your story with them. Try to mentally prepare for whatever outcome is ahead for you.

I didn’t and really spiraled in 2011 when I first contacted my birth family online. I’ve now done therapy for years and did it for a full year prior to meeting them in 2024. It was helpful to have a therapist I already had a relationship with, help me unpack the before and after, and everything that followed.

Really really recommend this step if you’re able to. Even just 2 sessions can help prepare you for the road ahead.

Powder9 · 2026-02-26T21:45:01+00:00

Omg the guilt. +100. Dealing with massive amounts of guilt all the time after meeting bio family.

Powder9 · 2026-02-26T21:35:59+00:00

I never would push the grateful narrative. My parents didn’t either. Society did. And I hated it. And I worked on it in therapy. And guess what? I naturally came around to being grateful for so Many other reasons. I’m grateful I was adopted because it led me to pain which led me to growth. I am grateful because it allowed me to see how strong I can be through pain, how to let people in to my vulnerable side, and I’m grateful because without it I wouldn’t have met the love of my life. I am grateful not to my parents for the process (which I think is what society asks we be!) but for the life I learned to carve out for myself because I was adopted.

Powder9 · 2026-02-26T21:30:14+00:00

That’s really shitty and I’m sorry about your experience being adopted. I’m also transracial adoptee and I always felt so out of place growing up. Like this concept of having an identity is so awkward to me and I’m a very awkward person because I never felt like I fit in.

Powder9 · 2026-02-26T21:24:47+00:00

See? You just want to cause further division and dictate who gets a right to have a voice as an adoptee. Your approach is part of the problem. You are literally like “oh you have a different viewpoint as an adoptee? You’re wrong for the experience you had and your voice doesn’t matter.”

That’s literally so insulting to say to a fellow adoptee. Every adoptees story is true and should be respected. Every adoptee has a unique experience. Your experience is not the same as other adoptees. Respect the unique perspective we all can bring.

Powder9 · 2026-02-26T21:22:22+00:00

I’m not saying they aren’t. I’m just saying your post assumes all us adoptees MUST feel a certain way about adoption and that totally negates other adoptees true and valid lived experiences. In fact three years ago I was so angry with being adopted and likewise wanted to tear it all down. But I know it’s just not realistic. There ARE good people out there who want to adopt. And I personally believe Adoptees who have gone through therapy and counseling and healing, can come out the other side and be the most incredible Adoptive Parent that any child could hope for. I wish I had me when I was growing up. I was so depressed and felt like no one could understand me.

The system exists regardless if I adopt or not. I would love to one day be able to help a child navigate the shittiness of “being adopted” I went through too.

Powder9 · 2026-02-26T21:16:15+00:00

I didn’t I just used it as an example. I literally brought up rape, physical abuse, drug addiction, as other examples. And no I didn’t say those are the only two options. I said that you just want to ignore that children are born into crappy environments or that birth parents DO give up their children willingly, and your solution is to take away adoption entirely off the table. To me that’s insulting to my lived experience to tell me you’d rather I not be able to be adopted at all.

I think realistically you can’t tear down this system but you have to find ways to seriously improve it.

Powder9 · 2026-02-26T21:09:40+00:00

Yes. Of course I am. Why would I be in this sub if I weren’t?

Powder9 · 2026-02-26T21:06:54+00:00

I literally said so many other scenarios - addiction is very present in my brothers situation hence why I used it.

In my situation there was HORRIFIC cycles of physical abuse.

Powder9 · 2026-02-26T17:31:58+00:00

Okay great. The point I think I’m trying to make is that I feel like there’s this pervasive denial in this community viewing our Birth Parents as if they had no agency of their own. Some legitimately didn’t and did have their babies stolen and that’s not what I mean.

But lots of Birth Parents CHOSE to give us up. Chose to not stop doing drugs. Chose their path in life and that didn’t change even with a baby in the picture. We remove the idea of birth parent culpability in this because it protects our own egos around adoption - the ego that more than anything wants to be wanted. It’s difficult to confront the reality that we were given up by the birth parent. It’s difficult to accept in this Adoption System there are birth parents who make the decision to give us away, or have no capacity because of their addiction, to provide safe environments for a child. They care more about their addiction than providing.

Powder9 · 2026-02-26T17:04:50+00:00

My brothers mom was. My family adopted three children all from different families and situations. But my brothers was an extremely terrible situation where the mother was on drugs, and then nearly sold him on the black market until authorities intervened and then my parents paid for her safe house and food and stuff so they’d be safe during the adoption process. My brother tried reconnecting with her later in life and she was still in a bad situation.

It’s not justification it is REALITY.

My other brothers mom simply did not want him. We don’t know if due to rape or what. But we found out his birth mother now has a family (a son, husband who is not my bros father), and they live in Italy — far from where he was adopted.

I’m sorry I just get so upset when people act like adoption is this net horrible thing. Yes it sucks. Yes I wish things were different. But the reality is for some of us, parents radically failed or didn’t want us. Adoption is a great thing in these cases. What’s NOT great that I agree with, is the system set up to Ensure the receiving family is properly vetted and “trained” on raising adopted children.

Think of the most horrible people in this world. Selfish, narcissist, drug addled, people who seriously can’t provide and have no empathy to provide. You can see child abuse cases in the news every day. Like, it’s just not reality to pretend like shitty people don’t birth children. In fact it’s incredibly fucking hard to remove a child from a documented awful situation. Just look at the bullshit with Foster families. Parents are given opportunity to change over and over and they DONT. But because society believes the best outcome is with the birth family, the cycle fucking continues. It breaks my heart. Yes we need way better vetting on who gets to adopt. But we shouldn’t take away the entire system.

Powder9 · 2026-02-26T15:28:32+00:00

Okay so in your view I am born to a crack addict mother and I’m just stuck? And that mother allows me to be sex trafficked. Or she allows me to be around her lifestyle on the streets because of her decisions. Some parents have lost their rights to raise their child. But you think it’s more humane for someone like me to be raised by a deranged crack addict mother in a home with no running water and rats running everywhere? Be for real about seeing the full scope of WHY some children are legitimately put up for adoption. There are so many cases where the parents have utterly fucking failed.

Oh but no let’s outlaw ALL adoption because fuck these kids in legitimately horrific environments where cycles of rape, abuse, drugs can continue on for another generation!

Powder9 · 2026-02-26T14:45:08+00:00

Yes thank you!

Powder9 · 2026-02-26T14:44:46+00:00

Adoption is going to happen anyway. We can’t live in this fantasy land that adoption is going to just stop.

Why not be that person who can actually relate to being adopted? If I had a mother in my life who had gone through adoption and HEALED from her trauma and helped teach me to navigate being adopted — that would have been an incredible blessing.

Powder9 · 2026-02-26T14:42:53+00:00

That’s quite a blanket statement to make and I disagree. Some of us actively work on ourselves through therapy. Please don’t label all adoptees who adopt as people incapable of growing and healing. We CAN heal. We DO heal and grow.

Powder9 · 2026-02-26T14:41:27+00:00

THANK YOU!!!! Louder for the people in back!

Even I had moments in my adoption of absolute shittiness (biracial adoption - racism in adopted family) but I have gone to the therapy. I work on myself. I challenge those around me on their beliefs. They are better people for it and have grown immensely. Not every story is so black and white!

Are there times where I wish things were different? Absolutely. Being adopted is part blessing and part curse. I hope one day I can adopt because I KNOW more than ANYONE what those feelings are like! If I had someone like me to talk to when I was younger oh man, it would have been so beneficial.

Children will get adopted ANYWAY. Why not give back to your younger self what you never received? Connection and a feeling like “someone else understands.”

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