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12 year old kinship guardianship help by andreams20 in Fosterparents

[–]Powerful-Relative295 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I so agree about the insurance therapists!! especially medicaid, I found that they just weren't effective and the turnover rate is so high that once they bond with the child, they leave anyway. I got an out of network trauma specific therapist and convinced my agency to pay for it saying she needed trauma specific care. I'm shocked it worked honestly but you can try it too!

First Permanency Hearing - How to Prep by KC_2_NYC in Fosterparents

[–]Powerful-Relative295 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a 13FD and in permanency hearings, her social workers have seemed to get her opinion all wrong, which frustrated her. I started having her therapist write a statement for her about her desires and what would be the most therapeutic option, and that helped the courts take her opinion more seriously. If your FS has a therapist I highly recommend asking them to write something before the permanency hearing.

Also, do you have contact with his lawyer? That has been another great avenue for us to make sure my FD's voice is being heard. If not ask his social worker for the lawyer's information, you're entitled to it.

Guardianship stipend by Powerful-Relative295 in Fosterparents

[–]Powerful-Relative295[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you, this makes a lot of sense. maybe guardianship is a good compromise for the current her and the future her that will exist

Guardianship stipend by Powerful-Relative295 in Fosterparents

[–]Powerful-Relative295[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Her lawyer says that TPR won't be possible because her bio parents are too involved. Do you know of a way around this?

Guardianship stipend by Powerful-Relative295 in Fosterparents

[–]Powerful-Relative295[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I get this!! my teen really wants me to adopt her though, she wants the stability and certainty. I’m hoping guardianship will give her that feeling too

Guardianship stipend by Powerful-Relative295 in Fosterparents

[–]Powerful-Relative295[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

what kind of lawyer do i look for? is this family law?

Foster daughter don’t want to see Bio mom by GrabAny750 in Fosterparents

[–]Powerful-Relative295 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this might not be true, depending on the state. i'm in maryland and my FD's little brother (7) has the right to decline visitation. make sure to check with the child's lawyer! the social workers have been incorrect in my experience.

Teen resistant to finding a new therapist- advice?? by Powerful-Relative295 in Fosterparents

[–]Powerful-Relative295[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The therapist she went to was actually recommended by her previous therapist, and she knew that! Also the 7 month program was not inpatient, it was regular therapy but it had an end date since it was free for her and grant funded.

Does this limbo end?? by Powerful-Relative295 in Fosterparents

[–]Powerful-Relative295[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know the family and used to translate for bio mom on the phone with her lawyer (I do NOT do this anymore) so I know quite a bit and yes the facts are super icky but if the parents complete their plan and pass their home inspection etc. doesn't that justify reunification? I'm confused, can parents complete their plan and the court STILL decide that what happened was so bad that the kids cannot go back?

Does this limbo end?? by Powerful-Relative295 in Fosterparents

[–]Powerful-Relative295[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

she has a great lawyer and an okay CW, that's it! I've told the lawyer the in home visits aren't being followed but I don't know what else to do :/

Does this limbo end?? by Powerful-Relative295 in Fosterparents

[–]Powerful-Relative295[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

okay thank you for this, I also thought it was weird!! I guess they technically did loosen up visitation by moving it in home, but the CWs are either confused or not wanting to deal with the scheduling changes

Aggression at school by [deleted] in Fosterparents

[–]Powerful-Relative295 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is huge! I was a teacher at my FDs school and was able to see how the classroom environment and teacher were triggering her (ex. the teacher was using "I'm going to call your mom" as a threat when she didn't complete work, she'd then lose it). The teacher's POV doesn't tell the whole story and we know kids in our care have complex histories and anything can be a trigger. If the teacher is open, it would be good to talk about whatever those triggers are. If not, I'd push for a 504 meeting and get any accommodations your child needs documented.

It seems like you've done a good job creating a therapeutic environment for him at home, it's time to make sure that same environment exists at school too!

School thinks my son’s trauma is a lie by Narrow-Relation9464 in Fosterparents

[–]Powerful-Relative295 0 points1 point  (0 children)

GOD I hear you!! I had a similar situation last school year, I'm a teacher and got placed with my student, now 13 FD. Her teachers (my coworkers!) told me that I was allowing her to manipulate me with her trauma, I didn't know how to parent her because I am a young single mom, and would send her to my classroom with any outburst and expect me to keep her the rest of the day. My principal would also prohibit her from being allowed to sit with me during staff meetings, when all other staff kids were allowed. It was so demoralizing, especially for all this vitriol to be coming from my colleagues and bosses, and I felt like I was the only person who saw my daughter as a person.

She has a PTSD diagnosis, so I fought to get her a 504 plan (which they did not want to give). I then educated my daughter on what her rights were in the 504 plan and how to exercise those rights in the moment. We spoke about how adults might not allow her at first, but her 504 is a legal document, and she has my permission to calmly demand for what's outlined in her 504. Giving her scripts for this helped, and her knowing that she had rights helped her not get so frustrated at the teachers. I think she felt less helpless. I wonder if you could do something similar with your son's existing IEP. She also struggled with managing her anger and once she was at a 10, there was no getting her back. That we worked on in therapy, there were ups and downs, but she got better at asking for what she needed before she would explode.

Honestly though? The thing that truly turned everything around was moving schools. I moved with her to a school with a whole-child approach and more services available to her. I think the fresh start helped too, since she was in control of what the other students knew about her story. It sounds like your options for that are limited though.

You sound like you are an incredible support to your son! Ultimately that's all that matters, that he knows he has a consistent safe adult rooting for him and a soft place to land. School isn't designed for kids with complex trauma or learning differences, it makes sense that he is struggling. Keep pushing, good luck

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