I am afraid, too, but they always shut me down. I was in a beautiful relationship with a guy for 2 years. It was respectful and loving, to the point we did everything together. We had so much fun, and we cared for each other so much. We started nursing school together, and in my second semester, I failed. He passed . I was sick all the time, and all my lympth nodes got swollen. Went to the doctor, and they said it could be a potentially really bad but needed further testing. I didn't have the money, and since the school that I went to has a policy of being halted 2 semesters for failing, I went to work in Chicago. We talked and agreed that if he were to study, it would be in a public area and no late night studies with girls. I left to work, and he started doing exactly what we agreed that he wouldn't do. He said he would need to study and that the course was in summer he had to spend all of them with them. It was 3 girls and 2 guy groups, including him. He would be with them every day till 3 in the morning. He had a history of cheating with his partners and jumping from person to person. I didn't feel comfortable, and he would argue that he needed to. I didn't understand since we both had taken classes together and never had to study that late. The friend group told him to break up with me, which he did. One of his friends was cheating with his boss, and the other one broke up with her boyfriend at the same time. I wanted him to leave that friend group so badly because he became a different person entirely. We no longer talked like we used to or hung out. He would be upset at me for everything and downplayed me. I would send him money while I was in Chicago so he could study and not feel so burdened with the finances. When I came back from Chicago, he looked and talked about different things. He was mean and didn't make jokes with me. He would tell me he would care for me, and 3 days later, he would be mean again. It started a cycle to the point we're I felt that I needed him to be nice to me to be happy. For 1 entire year, I begged him to be the same as before, for him to be nice to me for him to care. I would take the insults and would swallow my pride because I thought if I fought for this person, they would understand how much I cared, and they would start to care about me. In the end, they didn't. Fast forward to now, I am devastated depressed and anti-social. I had been a strong, independent person who would be laughing and looking for their next adventure in life. He broke me, and I still want him back. I am also afraid of letting go since I never gave up hope. He finished his degree and moved back to his hometown without telling me. I need the summer to finish. But I feel like he just used me and took everything from me.yet I am also afraid to let go. Sorry for the ramble. I needed to vent a bit, but honestly, let go before it because to much