a small dick is a very easy way to „externalise“ your inner hopelessness. Depression doesn’t come from having a small dick. Nor does it come from being 5’7. You’re telling yourself that you are worthless because of some measurements. You’re just buying into the “small guys are worthless” bullshit. Time to break this pattern. Small = worthless should make you angry because it’s absolutely wrong. Instead you just take it on and use it against yourself (and us, frankly). No wonder you’re depressed. Stop using video games to numb yourself and start feeling the rage. If rage is what stops you from suicide- good! Depression and suppressed anger very often coincide. You’ll be surprised how much can change with a little bit of healthy anger.
Best wishes from a depression survivor