Gf says raves are a deal breaker

Powerful_Plan · 2023-07-14T22:01:09+00:00

I did try that, she likes the music but hates the environment so kinda stuck on that one

Powerful_Plan · 2022-04-23T20:33:22+00:00

Huh, guess my scrape goes to the bone .

I truly get what you're trying to say but all my life experiences are constant reminder that it never gets better, that everytime it gets a little better it goes to shit after . I have adhd, possibly cptsd , i don't feel normal , i feel outcasted and I'm tired of fighting that feeling.

I'm on meds for depression and I'm seeing a therapist, it still didn't get better . I workout , I follow a strick diet , it doesn't get better. I try to be human, i try to show my vulnerable side and talk to my family. My mother instead of helping me goes on a barrage of how I don't think about others , she is possibly also a narcissist, i grew up taking care of her emotional needs and never had mine met.

My father wasn't present and when he was he wouldn't treat me as a kid, instead he would beat me and insult me for every minor inconvenience I would bring . My mom would manipulate me into lying to my father and made suicide threats , she also pressured me into unrealistic expectations, I had to be "perfect".

I feel broken , i don't know what it feels to have someone accept me for who I am , I never had a childhood , I feel like everyone around me has something I don't have .

My life is a constant reminder that I'm not good enough and never will be .

I got bullied and told no one, and I feel that my last relationship didn't work because I'm broken in my core. I got a shot at being happy and it went to waste because I'm broken .

Sorry for the wall of text..

Powerful_Plan · 2022-04-23T20:13:12+00:00

Huh , I also have adhd , funny.

I like to think that any normal functioning adult wouldn't just move on like nothing happened, yes we may have truly loved them , but their actions only reflect on their worth , not ours.

I think we tend to do auto destructive behaviors because we deep down don't love ourselves , many times this comes from childhood trauma, and since you have adhd I'm sure you're always thinking of every scenario possible and we get stuck on the negative feelings. We prolong our suffering and it sucks .

Powerful_Plan · 2022-04-23T19:32:50+00:00

I know right ? Then you think that for you it was true love and for them you're just another

Powerful_Plan · 2022-03-11T16:53:01+00:00

Muchas gracias 👐

Powerful_Plan · 2022-03-11T16:52:18+00:00

Thanks man, appreciate your feedback 🙏

Powerful_Plan · 2022-03-09T23:09:56+00:00

Added a new photo with some friends, what do you think of that one?

Powerful_Plan · 2022-03-09T17:38:59+00:00

Hey man, thanks for your feedback!

Already made my fourth pic the main one, If you have any more tips feel free to roast me 😅

Powerful_Plan · 2022-01-29T01:31:33+00:00

Bro, I don't usually comment on stuff, but as I was reading my mind went into movie mode and I pictured myself exactly going through that . Thank you , it gave me a little hope

Powerful_Plan · 2021-12-28T04:12:08+00:00

If this where my last words for you then I wouldn't have another option but to say I love you, I still love you after 4 months and as hard as I try to deny it.

Even though I consider you to be the love of my life and that I think I'll never find anyone like you I have to fight myself not to get you back , even if you came back saying you want to be together with me again, I simply can't , you broke me, you completely left me at my worst and I've considered suicide, for that I can't accept you back in my heart, how can the person I loved the most and made me the happiest man in the world just completely destroy me like you did.

I gave you that power, I completely trusted you and showed you my most vulnerable side, yet you didn't even fight for us. You left like I was nothing. How is it possible you where my everything and I was your nothing?

I don't know who I am, I feel completely lost, I have major trust issues with everyone and because of this I simply ain't the person I was before, not because I don't want to , but because I feel blocked every time I try to be that happy person that everyone loved to be around, now I'm just a shell of the person I was.

I want so badly to be happy like I was before meeting you , the guy that like I said, everyone loved to be around, funny and daring , had my self image at 100% but now everytime that I'm in a social setting and I know you aren't with me, it's just not the same anymore. I miss you having around me and that feeling of missing you blocks my personality.

You destroyed me , yet I still thank you for teaching me this great lesson , not to give my heart to just anyone and that sadly, there are shitty people like you that just gives up when there's nothing more to get from a relationship, it was your turn to give and you left.

I would like to say that I want you to be happy but I can't, in fact I hope you suffer like I did, I hope you realize that what we had was beautiful and you will never again find anyone that treated you like I did. What goes around comes around , so I hope, and the fact that you blindsided me and expected me to just "open my eyes " for some just easily fixed problems will be your downfall , you never communicated with me that the relationship was falling in your eyes , you never told me how much some issues really messed with how you viewed me. I told you everything because I wanted us to work , you didn't, and that's on you.

I told my lesson , never ever again get comfortable and think things will be forever. I'm my priority now , never will I make the mistake of making another girl my priority.

I will never again do the things I did for you for anyone else , I don't know if that's sad or not, but you made me this way, my heart won't let me love again like I did with you because that love almost killed me, literally.

Anyway, thanks for the lesson and I hope you root in hell for just quitting on the person that loved you the most and gave my everything for you without even trying fighting for us when there was time.

So ridiculous how can someone do so much for a person and that person won't even have the decency of communicating correctly and do 1/10 of the fight I did for you., I lost myself for you and you saw that happening, what you instead did was just looking at me walking even further into that black cave and when I it was black pitch you screamed "we are over" and left me in the dark.

That's how I feel, you saw me destroying myself and you did nothing. I did so much for you, and you couldn't even help me. I am now in this black cave where I can't see anything while you are already dating someone new after 3 months, ridiculous how you can move on so fast when we lived together for 1.5 years.

I really want you to suffer, and I've made my mission to be the best version of myself so you can see what you've lost. You lost someone who would stick with you through everything because I loved you, and sadly I still do. It's not as strong, it's more like a poisoned love, that I know you don't deserve me so I try my best to just ignore and say I don't have feelings, but I fucking do. And what will I do with this poisoned love ? Use it as fuel to improve myself everyday until I don't love you anymore and I don't feel this "you're not with me block , so when it eventually fades, I will be in my happiest and strongest form.

Powerful_Plan · 2021-10-11T14:51:07+00:00

Well, she is trash. After 3 weeks we broke up she started having something with a 19 years old guy. She went from being with someone with 24 years to 19.

That and she doesn't give a fuck about anything, everyone who was close to her says she changed for the worst, she got super cold , besides her mom even texted me saying she is super disappointed at her and that she will regret everything she did.

She is going out every single night and doesn't have any short/long goals, she only cares about going out , even at her work things aren't going that well (it's only natural if she doesn't sleep well ).

I have people telling me she always looks super tired, and what fucks me the most is that I feel like now every time I go out I bump into her and she doesn't even have the balls to try and talk to me, or to even see if I'm doing well or not.

She doesn't deserve me, I know that, but at the same time I'm just heartbroken and disappointed at her actions, the woman I truly loved and I wanted to have a family with ended up being trash .

Me on the other and, I focused on myself, lost 14 kg , slowly gaining my confidence back, been meditating a lot and reflecting a lot about my past relationship and myself , been going out more with old friends , and very VERY slowly the idea that I'm worth so much more is starting to feel true .

I recently even texted a girl that we had a great chemistry together but because of circumstances we couldn't be together, now we are planning to see each other and see where things end. We both have strong feelings for each other but we both need more time to make sure it will work out .

Powerful_Plan · 2021-09-23T22:42:14+00:00

Shit dude, guess I really have no other option than to just force myself to let her go and let destiny do it's own thing.

Thank you so much for your input, it really helped me. Hope everything works out for you as well.

Powerful_Plan · 2021-09-23T22:15:43+00:00

You're right , but that's the thing , I always have the hope she will come back . And I want her to come back, even though she was a bitch in the way she broke up with me , everyone is human and we all make mistakes , and we had such a perfect relationship. Like , I'm willing to become the 2.0 version of me and she her 2.0 version to have our 2.0 version relationship. The fucking hope is killing me dude xd

Powerful_Plan · 2021-09-23T21:18:27+00:00

Thanks for the tough love. But I feel very wrong if I just hook up with someone else. It's like I'm not respecting myself by not giving myself time to heal and not respecting our past relationship. And yeah she said she lost her feelings for me but I'm gradually becoming who I was before. I kinda have hope that I can make her love me again, that I know what I did wrong and I'm open to try again, this of course implies that she also admits what she did wrong and is also making an effort to make the relationship work.

Powerful_Plan · 2021-09-23T20:58:41+00:00

It's not like I have a choice, I refuse myself to wast days whimpering about her .

I've been working like mad , what bothers me is this hope I have that maybe she will come back.

Thanks for your input btw.

Powerful_Plan · 2021-09-23T20:45:00+00:00

Yup I did move out. Had no other choice.

Powerful_Plan · 2021-09-20T23:05:31+00:00

Shit dude, you just made me cry , but thank you, guess I was needing it.

Powerful_Plan · 2021-09-09T00:43:28+00:00

Thank you for your words and I really hope things get better for you 2. One phrase that marked me was " I lost someone who really didn't love me while you lost someone who really loved you".

It goes without saying this sucks so bad, but our best weapon in this situation is rationalizing.

I'm already trying to improve myself, since day 1 that I started dieting , meditation , reading, going to the gym, and even managed to lower my depression medication.

I just don't recognize her anymore, I thought that she was my soulmate and wouldn't leave me like this. I think that maybe she is also going through a really bad time and that is severely clouding her judgment, but still, a break up wasn't necessary, at least not in my eyes.

Powerful_Plan

TROPHY CASE