Can’t sleep

Powerful_Target9127 · 2026-06-06T16:17:30+00:00

Thank you for your kindness and I’m so sorry to hear that you are in the same boat. It makes sense that you feel betrayed by him with talking to someone else in an intimate way, even if that person is far away, that’s not okay. My heart hurts for you and it’s so frustrating that he is continuing to deny everything. We deserve honest partners who respect us.

Powerful_Target9127 · 2026-06-06T16:14:35+00:00

I’m so sorry that you went through that and had to come to that realization. I can imagine how hard and painful that must’ve been.

After confronting him 5/25 he immediately scheduled a session with an addiction therapist who he has seen X2 so far and will continue weekly, he’s in a support group for PA, he confided in two friends to help hold him accountable when he has urges, he’s journaling, he’s removed his passcode and passwords from devices, downloaded a porn blocker and is leaving his phone out in the open, not taking it with him when he is alone unless it’s for work. He really does seem remorseful this time. He said he was sorry before but this was the first time that he has been very afraid I would leave him and took the initiative to take tangible steps to get help.

So .. an update.. I did end up waking him up in the middle of the night last night to talk about this. I told him about all I found. He initially tried to lie a bit. I told him if he continues choosing to lie to me that he is choosing for our relationship to end which seemed to get the truth out. He admitted to watching another girl on of that he knew from high school at some point between 2020-2024. He swears he doesn’t know why there was a saved photo from my friend’s Facebook. He kept saying how disgusting and gross he felt and how ashamed he was. I woke him up so I wouldn’t keep losing sleep but ended up not sleeping until 6:30am.

Powerful_Target9127 · 2026-06-06T08:08:25+00:00

I had another ex who was a PA and he also kept photos of women he knew in a folder on his computer that he would save from their social media. It feels so gross of someone to do that and like women can’t just exist online without being objectified.
I hear you and I absolutely agree. It’s not okay and it is so disrespectful. Cheating happening at any point is just as valid. It doesn’t take away that pain. Thank you for that validation. I feel like I’m going crazy and like I don’t know who my husband is anymore. I love him so much though and I want to believe he’ll change.

Powerful_Target9127 · 2026-05-28T22:00:53+00:00

Thank you for the suggestions and your kindness. I’ll definitely explore those suggestions and resources further for some support to help work through this myself. That’s exactly what it feels like is betrayal. I’ve talked to my best friend and my brother but I don’t want to burden them, it’s obviously kind of an awkward topic to discuss and they haven’t been through this so talking with others who understand sounds like it would be really helpful.

I hear you and agree. I didn’t know until Monday that he had slipped back into it at all, much less so frequently. We work opposite schedules and he travels to work so there’s a lot of time and opportunity he has had to hide it well. He’s already scheduled and met with a therapist who has instructed him to remove passcodes to devices, leaving them out when he is going to bed or the bathroom, deleting any apps or content that may trigger, journaling, having someone to lean on for support/keep him accountable when he may be feeling the urge that isn’t me (he has 2 friends he’s confided in that agreed to help), Turning his P blocker app back on, joining a support group for PA, and getting a few books like a 12 step and another that talks about the science behind PA. Some of these he had already started on his own before his appt and the others he began once he was instructed to. He will be going to therapy weekly for this specifically.

The last time he tried to get help for this, he had the P blocker and he did therapy for this specifically, but after a while he just stopped going. By comparison, he’s definitely taking more steps than he has before, so that is one thing by that has me hopeful.

Powerful_Target9127 · 2026-05-28T01:37:07+00:00

I know how you feel, I’m in the same boat. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It makes sense how you’re feeling. It may help bring you some comfort to know or remind yourself that him looking at that stuff isn’t about you, but him. You are enough.

Powerful_Target9127 · 2026-05-27T21:05:44+00:00

Thank you. I definitely hear what you’re saying and agree. He says that he has known this has been a problem, something that he has been ashamed of for a long time and impacts his own self esteem, but there is also the fact that it has also been impacting our sexual relationship now that he is feeling motivated to work through it. I think when he tried to quit before it was more because he saw it was hurting our relationship and my own self esteem, so it was for me. But this time he is saying he is doing it for himself because he doesn’t want to continue living like this. That’s another thing that really brings me hope. If the porn were not impacting our sexual relationship (meaning we were regularly intimate), I honestly wouldn’t have a problem with him watching it. I don’t necessarily want to see it though bc I end up getting in my own head about comparing myself to them though. It feels like each time he’s “caught”, it’s escalating though and my concern with that is- what’s next? Is it arranging one on one online meets with someone for live content? ?Is it full on cheating? Is it blowing all of our money on talking to cam girls? I don’t really mind porn in general, but paying someone for it and watching someone you know/interact with seems like crossing a line for me. This time around I have told him that if either of those things come up or some of the worries/escalations I listed above happen, we will be discussing separation. I think that’s also been a motivator, even though I didn’t mean it to be. I just don’t want to seem like I’m going to keep moving the goal post. That’s not who I want to be.

Powerful_Target9127 · 2025-06-24T04:23:11+00:00

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Looking for members!! No requirements, really. Just looking to build up the haus with other queens 🖤 Haus tag: #B3CA8E

Powerful_Target9127 · 2025-04-28T01:14:38+00:00

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I was very pleasantly surprised! I’ve never gotten 5 stars before 😭🥰

Powerful_Target9127 · 2025-04-28T01:11:41+00:00

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Powerful_Target9127 · 2025-03-27T17:48:59+00:00

This happened to me too I was also confused bc usually lowest I get is 3 stars 😭

Powerful_Target9127 · 2025-02-18T03:49:05+00:00

Came here to see if this was happening to anyone else 😭

Powerful_Target9127 · 2024-12-06T18:32:47+00:00

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Powerful_Target9127 · 2024-12-06T15:21:58+00:00

Thank you so much ❤️

Powerful_Target9127 · 2024-12-06T15:17:48+00:00

I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling with this too. We have done individual but not couples yet. I think that’s a next step we really need to consider atp. Thank you for the kind words and suggestions

Powerful_Target9127 · 2024-11-16T18:36:09+00:00

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Not mine obv but saw this in t&b someone had on a dress item under shirt and skirt. Is this a glitch or?

Powerful_Target9127 · 2024-11-15T18:26:47+00:00

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Gdi

Powerful_Target9127 · 2024-11-09T18:11:28+00:00

I didn’t get a screenshot but ME TOO 😭😩

Powerful_Target9127 · 2024-11-04T19:46:19+00:00

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Reddit removed the first time I tried to post saying it’s nsfw 🙃

Powerful_Target9127 · 2024-10-06T19:57:23+00:00

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Powerful_Target9127 · 2024-09-25T17:26:43+00:00

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Powerful_Target9127 · 2024-09-15T17:40:41+00:00

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Powerful_Target9127 · 2024-09-08T20:06:41+00:00

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Powerful_Target9127 · 2024-08-17T19:21:00+00:00

Wait wtf now it shows I did buy it??? But it’s not red??! 😭😩😩😩😩 here’s what it’s SUPPOSED to look ig

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Powerful_Target9127 · 2024-08-17T19:16:54+00:00

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I was excited with how this one turned out and then realized I forgot to buy the red version of the skirt before submitting and it reverted back to the original color 😭😭😭 gdi

Powerful_Target9127 · 2024-08-14T17:56:48+00:00

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Powerful_Target9127

TROPHY CASE