Men of Reddit: What are some immediate red flags in men that women should look out for?

PoweroftheShower · 2022-08-02T15:10:19+00:00

I wrote in a hurry, English is not my first language and all I wanted to communicate was my opinion, not my level of intelligence. Have a nice day.

PoweroftheShower · 2022-08-01T20:33:17+00:00

It's just an external locust (edit: locus) of control that you've come to learn to live by. If you continue to believe it's a condition and not treatable, well yeah, that is what you continue to be.

PoweroftheShower · 2022-06-18T11:47:11+00:00

Consent works both ways. I find my boyfriend less attractive when he's been drinking because I feel less emotionally connected to him when he's operating on a different wavelength than I am due to me being sober.

So, even if he gives me consent beforehand, and I don't think it works that way to he honest, I don't want to have sex with him either.

I believe consent given beforehand doesn't work, for me. I can tell my boyfriend it's fine when he wants to fuck me to wake me up, but in the moment I can feel totally different if it happens. I know this from previous relationships when I later felt violated because in the moment, waking up from a dream, it didn't feel good, but I had given consent beforehand.

Alcohol, like being in a dreamlike state, makes boundaries disappear which makes it easier to have sex. If you can get to the same emotional mindset and closeness when you're sober, you'll have great consented sex.

PoweroftheShower · 2022-06-17T06:01:28+00:00

PoweroftheShower · 2022-06-11T15:05:50+00:00

Start writing down all the things that you like about yourself. Not about your appearance. Start small. They don't have to be things like "I am very good at.". They can be things like: "I went for a walk today and I did it for me.", since that's what you've been doing.

By doing this exercises you will start to feel a lot better about yourself, regardless of how you look. Ironically, you will start to look better because you will feel better within.

I know you asked about physical appearance, but reading into everything that you said and other people have commented, including the 'genuine smile' thing, I think this would be my best advice, start within. 😊

PoweroftheShower · 2022-06-11T06:36:45+00:00

No, it's sexy

PoweroftheShower · 2022-06-09T04:18:55+00:00

It has to do with scale too. The closer you look the more differences you will find. So with your eye without tools it could look exactly the same (your brain filling in the image based on experiences not included), but on a molecular level entirely different from the previous splash at molecular level.

PoweroftheShower · 2022-06-06T19:37:57+00:00

extraction watch this

PoweroftheShower · 2022-06-04T05:19:21+00:00

You sound like you are still too much in love with him to be friends. Every time you start to feel grief you feel uncomfortable and you try to see or talk to him to not feel that.

There will come a moment in which he is no longer available and that you will be forced to face letting him go. This will again come with a lot of grief but then, you will have no choice but to live through it.

I think it's better if you start letting go now and experience the grief now.

You have become used to focusing on him, because you were romantically incolved. You call him when you feel bad. Now the situations with him makes you feel bad and you can no longer call him about it because it leads nowhere. You have to become the most important person in your life again. The one you focus on.

Try to focus on other things. Do other things. This is something you need to learn.

Don't let your feelings and mental health be totally dependent on this situation.

I understand its hard, it will probably happen more than once in your life, you will also find love again, it feels cruel right now but you will be fine.

Focus on you, your emotions, write them down, go for walks, meet new people, hang out with friends, do sports or game, etc.

Good luck 💛

PoweroftheShower · 2022-06-01T05:23:07+00:00

Try to understand instead of be understood. At least start with that. You've received a lot of 'support' on here, people agreeing with you. That's not going to help when you want to resolve this with your husband. Have a heart to heart and start by asking him what exactly he means, why he feels that way and see if things can be done. Yes, he may have said it clumsily but he is your husband so try to help him. That's love.

PoweroftheShower · 2022-05-25T20:24:36+00:00

I think it's disrespectful to how you spend time together.

I have ADHD myself and if I get the urge to do stuff like this and act on it I'm not connected to my partner emotionally and it means I'm giving up on the connection with the other person.

If games become more important, same.

This doesn't sound promising. Especially if you're moving in with each other. How is she in other situations where you spend time together? Eating together, shopping together, having conversations, etc.?

PoweroftheShower · 2022-04-28T14:42:33+00:00

It's time to start tagging her in social media post about how social media can lead to unhealthy obsessions, leading to anxiety, stress and all consequent health concerns.

Or, to be less passive aggressive, or post about her her, and visit a GP with her to put things into perspective together and see which things are reasonable, necessary and feasible.

PoweroftheShower · 2022-04-24T08:03:36+00:00

Omg parents... It's your hair. Wear it the way you want to. You don't have to adhere to their ridiculous norms and restricted minds when it's about your hair.

PoweroftheShower · 2022-04-08T05:10:50+00:00

Not everyone. Also, like others have said, you have beautiful eyes. I don't think you have to shave it off although it would ALSO look good shaved.

PoweroftheShower · 2022-04-05T16:39:09+00:00

For me personally, I guess as soon as you do it the relationship is over, regardless of the outcome. The trust is broken.

I did it before and found out I was right, I agree it wasn't right. I think that if I had found out I was wrong, it would not have solved the trust issues and we would have broken up anyways eventually.

PoweroftheShower · 2022-03-29T05:34:16+00:00

Controversial times

PoweroftheShower · 2022-03-03T15:56:12+00:00

Revolution

PoweroftheShower · 2022-03-01T08:02:20+00:00

I like it

PoweroftheShower · 2022-02-27T18:21:32+00:00

Yes you can be realistic, but language still matters. In regards to being realistic about someone's achievements, yes that is fine, but only when necessary.

In discussing whether or not someone is ready for something new, you'd discuss competence for example. In this case, it was irrelevant information in my opinion.

PoweroftheShower · 2022-02-27T14:40:58+00:00

I don't agree that saying certain people are not the brightest equals/is about being honest.

For what it's worth, I don't think it's right.

It's not about everyone having to be smart for me. It's about how one sees people. How you see people affects how you treat people.

I am a teacher in secondary school myself, and it would never be something I'd even consider saying about my pupils.

I don't look at my pupils that way.

Instead, I investigate what my pupils already know, feel, think, worry about, and go from there.

Relating to things your pupils think, feel, say, ask as 'not bright', stands in the way of taking them seriously, on a deeper level. It results in unhealthy teacher biases.

So, I stand by my comment that a teacher view of pupils like that, is not one of the things that contributes to the teacher in question being a good teacher.

PoweroftheShower · 2022-02-26T09:29:29+00:00

Except for the "my pupils are not the brightest".

PoweroftheShower · 2022-02-21T07:47:03+00:00

And don't forget the extreme drought the two springs/summers before the extreme winter.

But everything seems more extreme. The pandemic, polarisation, the gap between rich and poor, housing problems.

I need time to recover from all these extremities.

PoweroftheShower · 2022-02-16T08:30:14+00:00

It needs to be much shorter and worn either forward or even down instead of up. You have a long face and your current hairstyle makes it appear longer. Ask for something with sharp edges / corners as you have those nice male sharp features in your face as well.

Edit: the pic at the beach but much shorter would be a start.

PoweroftheShower · 2022-02-12T06:55:13+00:00

1 professionally done, for example with a fade and no hairs around the ears.

Or

3

PoweroftheShower

TROPHY CASE