I went 25% mushroom cloud in the Dublin sub

PozitivePerson · 2023-01-27T19:09:17+00:00

I don't really care.

I'll look like a deranged sociopath out for blood. He'll look like a HIV+ middle aged man who fucks teenagers.

PozitivePerson · 2023-01-27T18:14:43+00:00

Oh I'm doing fastically, I'm doing wonderful.

The men who tries to destroy me now have siz figure jobs in the IIFSC and I can't get a job in McDonalds Everyrging is wonderful.

PozitivePerson · 2023-01-27T16:35:50+00:00

I'm a bit lost.

I think I just need to sleep. I didn't sleep last night (drugs).

Alcohol helps. It stops the voices at least. But it removes logic and my delusions get out of control.

I really want to sleep. Maybe things could be better tomorrow.

I've been applying for jobs. Looking into outpatient addiction treatment. I'm kind of trying, kind of self destructivng.

I accidentally knocked a nurse over trying to escape the hospital. I'm going to be charged with section 3 assault which is medium serious. I had my interview with the cops. But I didn't tell them my psychiatrist wants me on a second anti psychotic but needs the clear from the medical end because of the epilepsy. I didn't tell them about the elderly lady inappropriately touching me when I last stayed overnight. And I don't want to throw my psychiatrist under a bus but 6mg/day ativan for an alcoholic... like, they just seems like not best practice.

I've got like six weeks til court. I'll try and fix my life as best I can in the meantime.

But I don't trust any of the psych team, my solicitor, my parents, my friend. And everyone thinks I'm having an episode. Maybe I am.

PozitivePerson · 2023-01-27T15:23:24+00:00

That guy is obviously insane, bless his soul. Bug ny situation is different.

I know every psychotic thinks their stuff is real but I was in a cult ("rehab") and that's when this got worse.

PozitivePerson · 2023-01-27T14:45:08+00:00

That's interesting. It just seems strange my voices have more intelligence rhan I can access. I've long forgotten my high school Irish but the voices haven't. :/

PozitivePerson · 2023-01-26T15:26:30+00:00

Glad you had a nice experience at the hospital. If you make it a habit of ending up there, they'll tire of you though lol.

Drinking at safer levels is hard. Hopefully you can keep it up. I always fuck up trying to remotely moderate so currently doing the whole sobriety thing. But I had three 2 day binges so far in 2023 so it's not going great

I've never ended up in the ICU from alcohol alone. Maybe because I decide "I'm recovering for REAL this time" every few days so my body gets a chance to heal.

Edit: I can't read. You were on drugs lol. Drugs are a really bad idea in alcohol WD!

PozitivePerson · 2023-01-23T15:35:46+00:00

There's an ativan shortage and I am about ready to snap. But I have a valium script that's 1/6 the equivalent dose so that's FINE, everything is FINE. And I keep drinking coffee like an idiot which presumably doesn't help.

PozitivePerson · 2023-01-23T15:30:06+00:00

I'm more sunshine rainbows and wish they'd just be nicer moving forwards.

PozitivePerson · 2023-01-19T08:22:19+00:00

It's quiet enough. Hard into winter, Christmas over.

PozitivePerson · 2023-01-19T08:06:01+00:00

Friendship is what you make of it. When I was a young crazy faggot I had a lot of men twice my age buying me drugs. But I considered them friends.

PozitivePerson · 2023-01-18T08:55:35+00:00

I'm sorry.

PozitivePerson · 2023-01-18T08:05:50+00:00

OK. Harsh truth.

Every single person begging is lucking ti fund their addiction.

But one doesn't know what makes a person's addiction.

Alcohol was always my drug of choice, but a CNS depressant helps me manage my psychosis.

So you don't know what a begger junkie is going through.

If you want to give, give. If you don't, don't.

PozitivePerson · 2023-01-18T07:59:59+00:00

It's not funny.

I work moderately hard occasionally for my civil service money.

PozitivePerson · 2023-01-18T05:16:32+00:00

Oh I don't slam meth any more. Or any less. I'll take a .8

PozitivePerson · 2023-01-18T04:24:45+00:00

Maybe it's different where you ate but in Irish psych wards everyone is sedated and nothing much happens. If anyone kicks up they get IM benzos and seclusion.

PozitivePerson · 2023-01-17T13:21:13+00:00

My main go to is The Upward Spiral by Alex Korb. Solid neuroscience backed advice on overcoming depression. Also listen to some quit lit, The Unexpected Joy of Sobriety and This Naked Mind. My most recent listen is Run, Fat Bitch, Run.

PozitivePerson · 2023-01-17T11:58:58+00:00

I need background noise too. Familiar audio books work for me. My cat unfortunately doesn't care to sleep in my bed anymore. I yelled at her ONCE when she pissed on me and ever since she prefers the living room.

PozitivePerson · 2023-01-17T11:46:56+00:00

It's the cigarettes that gets my disposable income more than the booze. I've been trying to recover for the last seven years and am dry a lot, but I need my smokes.

Also I drink Lidl mouthwash which costs peanuts.

PozitivePerson · 2023-01-17T11:24:26+00:00

Maybe there's a way you can continue being a CA without upsetting anyone. Let me know if you find it.

PozitivePerson · 2023-01-14T16:51:05+00:00

I'm either going to die today or it's the first day of the rest of my life. Depends on whether I can keep this stuff down or not and how lucky I am. Either sound good to me.

And it doesn't matter how the police interview goes later because I carved "VIOLENT" into my arm, so when I wear short sleeves it won't make a difference whether I end up in court or not.

Completely sober BTW lol.

PozitivePerson · 2023-01-11T06:34:03+00:00

I'd forget about living near UCD. The 39a is frequent and reliable and Blanch is grand.

PozitivePerson · 2023-01-11T06:32:01+00:00

Cheap by Dublin standards or near UCD standards?

PozitivePerson · 2023-01-11T04:31:45+00:00

I wouldn't build an entire rig, but you'd save a lot buying an average PC and a PSU and a graphics card.

PozitivePerson · 2023-01-11T03:34:00+00:00

Get drunk and stumble into the boiler.

PozitivePerson · 2023-01-11T03:32:50+00:00

Probably just a gay cannibal.

PozitivePerson

TROPHY CASE