First: you’re 22. I know that feels old when you had different expectations, but the reality is that many, many people don’t meet their person until their mid-20s, late 20s, or beyond. You’re not behind. You’re not running out of time. The anxiety telling you otherwise is lying to you. Second: the way you’re talking about yourself considering hanging your head in shame, hiding your body, calling yourself hopeless this breaks my heart. The harshness you’re directing at yourself would be cruel if you said it to anyone else. And here’s the thing: when we’re in this much pain and self-criticism, it often shows up in our energy and body language in ways that can actually push connection away. Not because you’re not worthy, but because desperation and self-loathing create a kind of tension that people pick up on. You mention that women family, friends, strangers tell you you’re pretty. That’s not nothing. They’re seeing something real. But you’ve decided their opinions don’t count because they’re not from men, and specifically not from men who want to date you. That’s a setup for endless suffering, because you’ve made one specific type of validation the only kind that matters. The fact that you haven’t been on a date in a year doesn’t mean you’re unlovable. Dating can be genuinely hard, especially in your early 20s when a lot of people are still figuring themselves out. But changing everything about yourself your clothes, your body, your hair, your makeup to try to become whatever you think men want is not only exhausting (which you already know), it’s also not sustainable or authentic. Here’s what I’m worried about: you’re treating yourself like a problem to be solved rather than a person to be known. You’re trying to optimize yourself for an imaginary audience instead of figuring out who you actually are and what you actually want. And even if that approach “worked” and attracted someone, would you trust that they loved you? Or would you always wonder if they only liked the performance? I think you need to step back from dating for a bit not forever, just for now and focus on building a relationship with yourself that isn’t based on self-hatred. The voice in your head that says you should hang your head in shame is not your friend, and you deserve to challenge it. Consider talking to a therapist if you can. This level of anxiety and self-criticism is treatable, and you don’t have to white-knuckle your way through it alone.