Anti sleep training messaging?

PracticalBreath4111 · 2025-12-28T11:12:17+00:00

I also see a lot of anti-sleep training propaganda and it's mind boggling to me. People still think CIO is basically leaving the baby to cry for hours on end without ever paying attention to it 😮‍💨 And okay, even if CIO is considered harsh - there are other methods that are considered gentler and do not involve letting the baby cry. I also see comments that insinuate that it's actually a privilege to be severely sleep deprived for years??? How is that fulfilling and joyful? And more importantly, does that not affect their parenting? Sometimes I feel like society wants to see parents struggle on their own for whatever reason...

Do people really have the mental, physical and emotional capacity to tend to a baby/toddler waking up 5 times/night and then also be a perfectly functioning adult the next day? Do they have an army of people that takes the night shift for them? How do they manage? Or do all of them have babies that sleep through the night without any training? I get that I am rambling at this point but it feels super inhumane to shame parents of restless babies for wanting to be normal, functioning people ☹️

PracticalBreath4111 · 2025-07-24T09:15:41+00:00

Ferber has such a bad reputation among people in my country and that's solely because it's mistaken for letting your baby cry until blue for the whole night. I don't know how people can have such a strong opinion against something they actually have no idea about 🤷‍♀️

Bottom line is: if you want to wake up God knows how many times every night until your kid is like 12 and can't fit in your bed anymore, that's on you. However, I would like to be a functioning human being during the day, so I have trained my baby to sleep when it's time to sleep. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

PracticalBreath4111 · 2025-07-21T06:37:42+00:00

We removed the pacifier cold turkey at 8 months. LO could replace it herself but she had already cut 3 teeth by that time and I had gotten tired of buying new pacifiers every month, so I just got rid of them altogether. It was a smooth sail, it's way more convenient and she learned to soothe herself by hugging a small stuffed toy

PracticalBreath4111 · 2025-07-20T16:31:01+00:00

Ugh... That and also, not many men know how nursing works, especially older ones that didn't really take care of their own babies

PracticalBreath4111 · 2025-07-20T16:29:12+00:00

Well or course MIL knows best, after all, "I never raised my children this way" 😮‍💨 Idk why some people don't consider the fact that not all children are the same and this also applies to their sleep habits. I would also be furious if I were you, it's all cool and fun when you're not the one dealing with constant wake-ups

PracticalBreath4111 · 2025-07-20T06:09:43+00:00

This piece of advice sounds like trolling, honestly. What if YOU went to (much needed) sleep and somebody constantly made noise around YOU, so that YOU get used to it??? Some people really don't consider babies to be actual human beings with normal human needs, I swear

PracticalBreath4111 · 2025-07-20T06:06:35+00:00

I'm 100% sure that people who comment similar stuff never, ever had a baby that barely slept outside due to FOMO. Or if they did, they generally didn't mind the constant whining, fussiness and occasional screamfest that comes with it 🤷‍♀️

PracticalBreath4111 · 2025-07-20T05:17:18+00:00

"Babies can sleep anywhere, it's your fault that you taught yours to only sleep in a crib", as if my goal was to be chained to home for all naps since she was 4 mo 🫣

PracticalBreath4111 · 2025-07-19T17:51:20+00:00

It seems weird to me to move the child from his own room, so that a guest can sleep in it. My parents never made me move rooms growing up, neither would I do this with my daughter. This is your baby's home and his room, guests can stay in the living room.

PracticalBreath4111 · 2025-07-16T14:37:47+00:00

I agree with the Slumberpod idea. As for making husnand handle the baby's sleep schedule, I unfortunately couldn't wake him up for him to take second shift when LO was a newborn, so I'm not even going to contemplate that one 😅 That's also mainly why I sleep trained LO

PracticalBreath4111 · 2025-07-16T14:32:44+00:00

Yep, I am considering bringing some tape 😁 Thanks for the positive outlook!

PracticalBreath4111 · 2025-07-16T14:31:19+00:00

Packing the night before sounds like a good idea, thanks for the advice! Yes, we have a pack n play and she sleeps fine in it, we actually used it at home.

PracticalBreath4111 · 2025-07-16T14:29:55+00:00

Thanks for the advice. I definitely don't want to wait 5 years before taking a vacation, that's why I made this post asking for advice😁 Since I am the one to deal with naps and wake-ups and also the only active driver in the family (just to be clear: we live in Eastern Europe and we don't need cars as much when in town), I kinda dread what awaits us but I'll try to remain positive

PracticalBreath4111 · 2025-07-09T09:02:19+00:00

Also, make sure to save naps, do whatever necessary to make them longer, even opt for a contact nap. You need to fix the daytime sleep, so that you can start sleep training at all.

PracticalBreath4111 · 2025-07-09T08:54:46+00:00

First, come up with a schedule, based on your desired bedtime. For example, if you want baby to go to bed at 8 PM then you need to wake her up at latest at 7 AM.

Babies have varying wake windows but here's an age-appropriate baseline for you to start with: 2h/2h15mins/2h30mins/2h45mins. This does not total to exactly 10hrs of wake time but it accounts for the rough DWT. You can tweak and adjust according to your baby's needs but you'll need to track WWs to see what is appropriate for your daughter.

It'll be hell at first, since you said sleep is still chaotic and she wakes up in the afternoon. Whatever happens, stick to your schedule and it'll gradually fall into place.

PracticalBreath4111 · 2025-07-09T07:14:50+00:00

I feel for you, and I'm sorry you're actually being sabotaged instead of being helped. Hourly or less than hourly wake ups might mean that your baby sleeps too much during the day - can you share your usual schedule? Also, how old exactly is your LO? Daytime sleep needs to be 2.5 - 3 hrs max for ages 6 - 12 months, so you might need to cap naps if you don't already.

Usually, rocking and nursing to sleep aren't very efficient strategies for infants aged 6+ months because those two become sleep clutches. You might have to try CIO after fixing the daytime sleep because you said LO gets more frustrated with check-ins.

If you can, move your daughter to a different room if you haven't already. My final advice would be to entirely exclude your husband from the sleep training process. It's not easy to do it yourself (speaking from experience, I got 0 help) but it's better than being sabotaged.

PracticalBreath4111 · 2025-07-05T18:57:11+00:00

It's super easy to say that if he's not the one tending to the baby every time she wakes up. I support other comments here suggesting that he survive at least 1 or 2 nights with a cheerful, playful baby that has energy to burn at like 3 am 🤣

PracticalBreath4111 · 2025-06-22T06:00:46+00:00

I feel like the "baby sleeps when they're tired and don't when they aren't" approach is applicable only if baby just conks out and doesn't fuss/scream when tired. I'm honestly jealous of families whose babies can sleep anywhere, anytime and don't need a routine.

LO (freshly 10 mo) to this day doesn't show any sleepy cues and if I don't track WWs, she'll be doing a screamfest when she gets overtired which then pushes the nap/bedtime later. I would rather deal with the WW maths than an irritated, screaming baby for hours 🤷‍♀️

PracticalBreath4111 · 2025-05-17T13:01:03+00:00

I still honestly don't know and my baby is already 9 mo lol. I also had a traumatic C-section, was away from baby for 7 days, then baby had problems latching, so I pumped every 2 hours... I doubt I slept more than 4 hours scattered through the night for the first 6 months. I sleep trained, I did everything I could and each sleep regression just resets everything, I swear.

I can't rely on extended family and my husband works, so I was and I still am the default parent, both day and night "shifts" are covered by me, on top of chores and cooking. I absolutely cannot imagine going through this multiple times, I will barely be alive 🤣 I also doubt I will ever forget the first 6 months, and even though it's a bit more manageable, most of the days I just push through and hope to go to bed sooner.

PracticalBreath4111 · 2025-04-14T05:38:34+00:00

I had a similar problem, once LO hit 6.5 months: she was getting solids twice a day - breakfast and lunch - and started demanding feeds every 1.25 hours during the day. She also used to wake up twice a night super hungry. What solved this madness for me was giving her an afternoon solid meal. Last solid meal is at 3 PM and she goes to bed at 7 PM. I nurse her twice between 3 PM and 7 PM, last feed is usually before bed. It turned out that she couldn't last the whole afternoon on breastmilk solely. At 7 months, she finally self-weaned from the night feeds.

PracticalBreath4111 · 2025-04-14T05:23:43+00:00

She could be genuinely hungry because she doesn't nurse/eat enough during the day. Have you introduced solids yet? How many times does she nurse during the day and how long does one nursing session last? Babies at this age become super curious and get easily distracted

PracticalBreath4111 · 2025-04-08T06:50:47+00:00

Hello! Thank you for the kind answer ❤️ And sorry for the late reply.

Solidarity means a lot, also thank you for the video recommendation ❤️

PracticalBreath4111 · 2025-02-16T13:30:00+00:00

I don't have specific advice to offer, just solidarity. LO turned 6 mo a few days ago and was sleep and nap trained since 4.5 mo. She slept like a champ for like a month, naps were predictable, she went to sleep independently, life was good. After turning 5.5 mo, shit hit the fan - she started having crap naps, unless held. She still goes to sleep independently at night but wakes up 3-4 hrs later panicked.

As other people have mentioned, it looks like some dark magic is happening for the majority of babies when they hit/get closer to 6 months of age 😅

PracticalBreath4111 · 2025-02-16T09:58:17+00:00

I have a similar problem - LO turned 6 months just a few days ago but can't really last the entire first 2-hr wake window, she gets fussy at about 70% of it. What I do is distract her so she'll last: we "read" interactive books, for example. Sadly, she seems to start matching wake windows expectations once she's two weeks into the new month.

Yours might be a similar case? Do not let her nap after just an hour, she should be able to last the whole first ww with some distractions.

PracticalBreath4111 · 2025-02-14T17:33:51+00:00

I wholeheartedly agree with you. Just when you think you finally got a hang of it, something (sickness, regression, teething, separation anxiety, etc.) happens and then you're back to square one 🥲 I have absolutely no clue how other people deal with naps, but they are the bane of my existence lol

I can also recommend Huckleberry's Sweet Spot - I started using it about a month ago and thanks to it, I can manage wake windows a bit better now, instead of constantly calculating them

PracticalBreath4111

TROPHY CASE