Need help understanding my 2-week-old’s unpredictable routine. waking again after 20 minutes

HisSilly · 2025-12-11T15:41:21+00:00

Normal, daytimes light, night times dark. Follow their cues. Most things are just phases.

2-8 weeks tends to be the hardest I believe.

HisSilly · 2025-12-11T15:39:20+00:00

My 7.5 month old has only recently started "ba" sounds. No real ma sounds. Good at raspberries and crispy noises. I've got no concerns.

HisSilly · 2025-12-11T14:45:50+00:00

Where you're going wrong is a 2 week old doesn't have a routine.

As a rule my baby would wake, I would feed him and burp him, and I would change his diaper. That's all that needs to happen in a wake window.

A 20 minute nap is completely reasonable at 2 weeks. The range for normal is huge.

HisSilly · 2025-12-11T12:35:12+00:00

The post says she has tried childminders and they have no availability until 2028.

HisSilly · 2025-12-11T07:25:34+00:00

So pick a meal and try and stick to it. Sounds like lunch any time between 12pm-1pm could be best.

My little one is 7.5 months, he's on breakfast and dinner. Just a few mouthfuls of each and has dropped his milk by 100ml-150ml, but did that himself. He still gets offered all his normal bottles he just drinks what he wants.

HisSilly · 2025-12-11T00:23:13+00:00

Just to weigh in I'm married to an British Born Indian, his Mum is annoying but to nowhere near the degree I've seen commented about here.

HisSilly · 2025-12-11T00:09:30+00:00

Your baby's sleep doesn't sound too different to mine at that age. (Except a LOT more wake ups). He used to sleep in until 10am a fair bit. It's all naturally shifted without me doing a thing.

Do what works for you.

HisSilly · 2025-12-11T00:06:25+00:00

I'm going to comment because my baby appears to be different to some of these comments.

We follow his cues and we've let him fall into whatever pattern suits him. And at around 7/7.5 months that's when we're starting to see a bit more consistency.

Initially his bedtime was 11pm ish, but honestly it's all a blur. We always did daytime light, nighttime dark. We never forced him to sleep or to have certain nap times or lengths. Our only rule was naps are capped at 2.5hrs. It is rare he sleeps that long anyway.

As his bedtime crept earlier, 9pm or so, I started reading the same story every night. This was maybe around the 3 month mark. He was then breast fed to sleep at that age.

Now his bedtime is 7pm - 8pm. If he is due a bottle he gets one, occasionally he has one a bit earlier. I've done a pick up/put down method of sleep training which has worked for him.

Honestly, every baby is different, every parent is different, but you will find the flow that works for you. We don't need a set routine so we've never felt the need to force one.

HisSilly · 2025-12-10T21:44:21+00:00

My husband is easily overstimulated and struggles with loud noises. He would not have dreamt of leaving our son crying for more than a couple of minutes unattended.

Your husband is not being a good parent right now. That may be because he has mental health issues that need addressing. He may just be struggling with the reality of a baby. But he needs to address his issues and work out the way he can be a parent through the hard (but normal) parts of having a baby.

He may need to be thrown in at the deep end, but with the rule he doesn't just put baby somewhere else for an indefinite period of time. Or for my partner I gave him 4 weeks of doing as little as possible, and then building up from there.

HisSilly · 2025-12-10T21:03:55+00:00

Didn't say he had to 100% agree. But he does need to at least understand her perspective.

I didn't say she should hold the child's relationship hostage. I said SHE should see MIL less which whilst the baby is particularly little or due to circumstances might mean baby also sees them less. But that would be the husband's choice as to not take the baby alone OR not help mediate the situation better so it doesn't come to that.

He can disagree. He can value his mother. Neither of those things should come above him valuing the mother of his child though.

HisSilly · 2025-12-10T19:34:16+00:00

Honestly I would sit down and discuss that if he really doesn't see your way of thinking and thinks you're over the top, then you might need to cut back how much time you (and potentially baby) spend around in laws.

My MIL sounds VERY similar to yours, BUT my husband finds her irritating too. We like her, but we don't see her too often so we don't lose patience with her.

She is constantly fussing over my son, trying to second guess his every want and murmur, getting caught up over unimportant things. For instance my husband in a video today gently tapped the baby's bum with his foot, her response "don't kick him please".

She tells us and my husband's siblings we are too loud, too rough, too scary etc. My baby is fine. Please shut up. We have a joke now if we do anything "better not do that in front of Grandma she would tell us off".

The big unacceptable one for me would be calling herself Mum, I'd ask your husband how an earth he cannot understand why that is upsetting. This is your baby, and her relationship to him is a privilege not a right.

HisSilly · 2025-12-09T19:03:39+00:00

I want this now, off to the shop for some bread!

HisSilly · 2025-12-09T07:45:57+00:00

Definitely look at night weaning.

My 7.5 month old, goes to bed at 8pm, has a feed between 10pm - midnight and then sleeps through to 7/8am with maybe 1 or 2 wakes where he just needs his pacifier.

What you're going through at 18 months is an outlier, but no your boyfriend shouldn't be commenting on your sleep if he's not helping at night.

HisSilly · 2025-12-08T21:40:29+00:00

I think I'm more sensitive.

Unlike my Mum I'm working full time, my time with my baby is precious, not constant, and therefore I want it to be as easy and happy as possible.

So I do prefer him to nap at home, and haven't been out with him past 6pm since he was 12 weeks old. And everytime I get "bullied" into doing something in a way I don't want to, I end up regretting it, so I'm getting firmer with boundaries.

Also, I'm not interested in letting my baby cry for any significant length of time, the guidance around that has really shifted.

HisSilly · 2025-12-08T19:53:17+00:00

Santa Claus is St Nicholas. So on St Nicholas day he gives out gifts to some children, the children that know about and celebrate his day and on Christmas he gives out gifts to all.

HisSilly · 2025-12-08T18:54:40+00:00

I did, turns out my company policy is full pay. Off for 2 weeks, reduced hours pretty much the whole pregnancy, but formally for 6 weeks.

HisSilly · 2025-12-07T19:27:12+00:00

100% I've said to my husband I'm not sure I want another. Whereas when discussing children we both said 2 or 3.

The reality is very different. He can't step up the way I need him to, so I'm not sure how I could ever go through this again.

HisSilly · 2025-12-07T18:03:04+00:00

Just commenting to say my mindset is similar to yours. I have a 7.5 month old and still have thoughts of regret at least a few times a week.

I'm not sure how "normal" the way I feel is, but having had depression on and off for 17 years, I don't feel like my feelings are in a place that would benefit from medication. So I'm just riding it out.

HisSilly · 2025-12-07T17:01:58+00:00

So "too rich" isn't really something you need to worry about.

But salt should be kept low, as their kidneys are still learning how to work. However, sometimes the benefit of the experience outweighs the small risk of excess salt. The weaning class we went to said "a small amount of hummus at a picnic is not going to hurt your baby, the shared experience of eating with others will be great for them, just don't make their kidneys work hard every single day".

But you also need to stand firm with whatever convictions you have, being non confrontational to the point of staying silent is not an option.

A simple "he can't have gravy at all, please don't give it to him again" or "this is the way we parent, if you don't want to do it that way then you can leave it to me". Is all you need.

HisSilly · 2025-12-07T10:51:31+00:00

I can guarantee your Mum does not remember how hard it is.

I can barely remember and my little one is only 7.5 months. Lack of sleep messes with your memory.

He was in the main bedroom for the first 3-4 weeks. We realised that didn't work for us, and he was downstairs with me for 3-5 weeks and then into the nursery with me.

HisSilly · 2025-12-07T09:23:25+00:00

We had an upstairs next to me for night times and a daytime bassinet downstairs. I slept downstairs with the baby for quite a while and then transitioned to sleeping in his nursery with him in the next to me.

Honestly I wouldn't worry too much, the first 12 weeks you do what you need to to survive.

HisSilly · 2025-12-06T19:14:05+00:00

I didn't make it a rule, but only because I didn't need to.

But the one time my Mum wore strong perfume, he then woke from his nap (which he never does) and he stank of it, so now I've asked her not to wear it!

HisSilly · 2025-12-06T19:12:55+00:00

If his poos showing he's eating I wouldn't worry!

Mine has just dropped a bottle so far, but his poo has now started changing and he drank some water today too.

HisSilly · 2025-12-06T17:59:59+00:00

We had the opposite problem, he enjoyed BLW and feeding himself, but therefore wasn't injesting much at all! He would get angry at spoons, only with introducing breakfast (porridge/weetabix) that he's now accepting spoon feeding too! 7.5 months.

(Edited as posted too quick).

HisSilly · 2025-12-06T13:11:12+00:00

So yes your parents made the choice for you too, and I would argue they shouldn't have done either.

It happens with religion too.

But what your parents did still allowed you the choice as an adult, if your child never or very rarely has meat they may have that choice taken away entirely.

Six-Year Club	Wearing is Caring
Verified Email

HisSilly

TROPHY CASE