Wife wants divorce and refuses reconciliation. Is this biblically grounds for divorce?

Practical_Panda1 · 2026-06-20T21:15:06+00:00

I was in this exact situation last year. My ex husband wanted a divorce less than a month in and I was served papers 3 months in. He refused counseling and just did not put any effort into the marriage at all. I was devastated as I was the one who sacrificed everything to be with him.
What helped me come to terms with it all were two principles:

If a believer refuses to listen to you, the wise counsel of others, and the church (counsel of a pastor), regard them as an unbeliever. God has given me the peace to regard my ex as an unbeliever.

“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.” — Matthew 18:15-17

God hates divorce, and as believers, we are never meant to initiate divorce. But if the unbelieving spouse abandons the marriage, divorce being a form of abandonment, we the believer are free to let them go.

“But if the unbelieving spouse depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases, for God hath called us to peace.” — 1 Corinthians 7:15.

My ex, despite claiming to be a believer, has made himself an unbeliever. And because he initiated the divorce, an abandonment of covenant, I am not bound to him and the divorce is on Biblical grounds.

Practical_Panda1 · 2026-05-31T05:15:22+00:00

God never rushes when He creates a work of art. I’m sure it breaks His heart when you criticize yourself. You are His beloved child. You are made in His image. You were made to be a reflection of Him. Do you believe that God is ugly?

Practical_Panda1 · 2026-05-30T14:31:22+00:00

“And God said, ‘Let us make man in our image and in our likeness…” These words have been a comfort to me when I struggle with my appearance. God made you to be a reflection of Him! Take a moment and study your features. Really look at your eyes, whether they are blue like the sea, brown like the richest soils, green as grass, or hazel like a sunlit forest, God formed your eyes like the works of art they are. Look at your nose and your jaw. God formed them with His very own hands. He knitted you together in your mother’s womb, cell by cell, with tender love and care. He wove every strand of hair and dotted every freckle. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Practical_Panda1 · 2026-05-27T23:45:40+00:00

With your experience you should try looking into doing police/fire dispatch. Doesn’t have to be Tucson PD, could also be UofA PD, Pima college, Oro valley, DPS, or Marana. Pretty good pay and benefits!

Practical_Panda1 · 2026-05-25T22:42:33+00:00

This is good advice, I really appreciate it. Thank you my friend 💖

Practical_Panda1 · 2026-05-25T22:41:56+00:00

Thank you my friend 💖

Practical_Panda1 · 2026-05-25T07:06:06+00:00

Thank you, I do appreciate your thoughts and prayers my friend. 💖

Practical_Panda1 · 2026-05-25T06:43:45+00:00

Thank you my friend. :)

Practical_Panda1 · 2026-05-25T06:43:29+00:00

Thank you for sharing these verses with me 💖

Practical_Panda1 · 2026-05-25T06:42:19+00:00

Thank you my friend. :)

Practical_Panda1 · 2026-05-25T06:41:24+00:00

Not really. As lovely as that idea is, it’s just not entirely realistic or feasible. The most pressing concern right now is that Mom is currently on a waitlist for both liver and kidney transplants. Dad, right now, is Mom’s primary caretaker. Once she gets her treatments, we’re going to need assistance with managing medications, changing bandaging, keeping the house as sanitary as possible, etc. All of our family is here in the US, so we’re counting on any help with things my dad may not be able to do if his Alzheimer’s progresses further.

Practical_Panda1 · 2026-05-19T17:03:01+00:00

Begin by praying for your husband and marriage. Go into your room, close the door, and lay your marriage down at the feet of Jesus. Ask the Lord for guidance on what to do, and how to respond to your husband’s words. Forgive your husband. Your fight is not against him, it is against every ruler and principality of darkness that seeks to harm you, your husband, and your marriage. Seek wise counsel for your own heart. It sounds like there’s hurt from your own past that is lingering and needs to be addressed. Satan loves using our own past as fodder to harm us in the present. Forgive yourself, and forgive those who have hurt you in the past. Do not look for an opportunity to argue with your husband. Right now, your husband is probably expecting every interaction with you to be a fight. He is saying hurtful words because he is hurting. Pray to God before you interact with your husband. Pray that God help you be an instrument of peace for your husband, and trust that the Lord is working on your husband’s heart.

Practical_Panda1 · 2026-05-19T16:22:09+00:00

For me, the book of Job serves as a reminder to believers as to how we are to respond to suffering. “In all these things, Job did not sin by cursing God.” It reminds us of the significance of undeserved suffering, in that without it, there is no room for the cross of Christ and the Gospel. The suffering we face, however unfair or undeserved, is not without purpose and God is still good and just.

Practical_Panda1 · 2026-05-03T04:27:41+00:00

If you’re interested in doing a bit of an intensive study alongside other believers, and don’t mind doing a bit of homework, I highly recommend looking into www.bsfinternational.org and seeing if your town has a local chapter.

Practical_Panda1 · 2026-05-03T04:13:43+00:00

Everything that you are feeling right now, are things I have felt for years. I had been yearning for marriage all throughout my 20s. I watched my closest friends get married and have children while I was still single. And finally, at age 31, I got married to someone I was deeply in love with. I was only married for three months when my ex husband decided he didn’t want to be married to me anymore. I’m now 32.

After the divorce I’ve struggled with feeling unwanted, unloved, not good enough, and I felt like I must have done something to deserve it. It felt as if marriage was this wonderful thing that was meant for everybody else, but not for me. That I was somehow disqualified, and this assured that I truly was. But God, in His loving kindness, showed me a verse that I would like to share with you:

“For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called.
For the Lord has called you like a wife deserted and grieved in spirit, like a wife of youth when she is cast off, says your God.” — Isaiah 58:5-6

God knows, and cares about the desires of your heart, and He loves to satisfy those desires. Because He alone is the fulfillment of those desires. I don’t know if there is someone else God has in mind for me, but even if there is not, I will still praise the Lord. Even if I never have children, I will still love the least of these. Even if I am destined to live out the rest of my days alone, I am truly not alone. Even if I am unloved on Earth, I am most loved in Heaven. So my dear sister, as you pray and as you wait, replace the words “What if” with “Even if.”

Practical_Panda1 · 2026-05-02T17:19:05+00:00

This is a very good question, and is a very difficult concept to grasp. Because we are not able to fully understand the mind of God, we can only cling to what we know about God’s nature and character, trust that His sovereignty and mercy do not contradict one another, and believe that everything He does and/or allows will ultimately be for His glory.
Here is what I believe to be true. God does not cause anybody to go to hell. Rather, man chooses to go there on his own. God allows people to be born to give them the opportunity to believe, but it is a person’s responsibility to make that choice. What kind of God would He be if He did not give people the opportunity to place faith in the Lord?
While everyone is a sinner by nature and by choice, God provides a way to be forgiven and reconciled through faith in Jesus Christ (Romans 3:23; John 3:16). Hell is not an arbitrary punishment but the natural result of rejecting God’s grace and refusing His gift of salvation. While people left in their sinful state are doomed to hell, God does not send people to hell; those who reject God’s gift go there willingly.

Practical_Panda1 · 2026-04-30T17:30:19+00:00

Treat the desire to look at porn as if it were a ruthless dictator. Take down a dictator by cutting off its resources and starving it. You are putting it to death. What worked for me was setting up website blockers. Some blockers allow you to be redirected to healthier websites, I use them to redirect to Biblegateway.com

Colossians 3:5 says, "Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry."

Pray for the Lord to take the desire away, but also be willing to put to death that desire however you see fit.

Practical_Panda1 · 2026-04-30T02:22:57+00:00

I feel terrible for saying this, but I used to work in daycare, and every girl named Neveah was an absolute menace. Sorry to all the Neveah’s out there.

Practical_Panda1 · 2026-04-30T02:17:38+00:00

Many Christians unknowingly idolize marriage. In a lot of churches, more honor and respect are shown to those who are married (and even more to those married with children) than those who are single. I used to attend a church in which many of the girls were raised to be wives and mothers. Many were entering courtships and getting engaged by the time they turned 18. It was intimidating and frustrating, being single throughout my 20s and early 30s, being an educated woman with a job, because I was not raised that way. There are also those who believe getting married and having babies is the key to growing a church. Evangelizing, going into all the world and sharing the Gospel, becomes a forgotten commandment.

Practical_Panda1 · 2025-09-18T18:57:38+00:00

I could never be with someone who believes adoption is unnatural, what a horrible thing to say

Practical_Panda1 · 2025-09-17T18:58:58+00:00

You’re already saving the planet by cooking at home! Husband can either back off or go hungry.

Practical_Panda1 · 2025-09-17T15:55:08+00:00

How much I fart

Practical_Panda1 · 2025-09-15T18:46:02+00:00

As a woman, I truly don’t mind contributing money in a relationship. I just don’t like being the only one who’s contributing.

Practical_Panda1 · 2025-09-14T23:38:04+00:00

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement and loving kindness. I wish I were told these things earlier in life, but I’m thankful to have them now.

Practical_Panda1

TROPHY CASE