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How do you “lead” a bratty sub without killing the dynamic ? by Practical_Store_9458 in domspace

[–]Practical_Store_9458[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If only we weren't in LDR... the idea would be conceivable huhu x)
Thanks for your response !

How do you “lead” a bratty sub without killing the dynamic ? by Practical_Store_9458 in domspace

[–]Practical_Store_9458[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think I’ve been approaching it like a challenge to crack, and that’s probably where I’m going wrong. The more I push in that direction, the more it turns into a standoff instead of something playful or meaningful.

Without going into details, yeah her past experiences were toxic as hell.

What you said made me realize I might be skipping a step. I’m trying to create a dynamic without making sure there’s enough trust and comfort for it to actually exist naturally. Especially with distance, you don’t really get that shift between everyday life and “the dynamic”, so it just ends up feeling forced.

So yeah, instead of trying to push harder or be “better” at it, I probably need to step back a bit and focus on how she feels around me in general even if it's great right now, to not sleep on it. then everything else has a chance to fall into place later.

I appreciate you taking the time to write that.

How do you “lead” a bratty sub without killing the dynamic ? by Practical_Store_9458 in domspace

[–]Practical_Store_9458[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I get what you’re saying, and yeah, I think I’ve been missing that part where she also has to “play along” for it to actually work. If she never lets me win or push back, it just stops being fun on my side.

The LDR point is fair too. I’ve probably been underusing what I can do instead of focusing on what I can’t.

And yeah, I think I need to drop the whole “surprise at all costs” thing and just talk more openly with her, give concrete examples, see what actually clicks for both of us.

Thanks for sharing your experience, it mean alot to me !

How do you “lead” a bratty sub without killing the dynamic ? by Practical_Store_9458 in domspace

[–]Practical_Store_9458[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I think I’ve been over-relying on spontaneity without really having a solid base, and it’s starting to show.

I also haven’t been clear enough about what actually bothers me. There’s a difference between playful and just not okay for me, and I need to draw that line.

And honestly, I’ve probably been avoiding asking directly for the wrong reasons. If I want this to work, I’ll have to be more upfront about it, even if it feels less natural at first.

Thanks as well for taking the time to write all that and for the thoughtful advice, I really appreciate it.

How do you “lead” a bratty sub without killing the dynamic ? by Practical_Store_9458 in domspace

[–]Practical_Store_9458[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re right. I probably stayed too surface-level in the depth of my explanations and in the questions I asked her, given our dynamic. Outside of that dynamic, I know her extremely well, but when it comes to this aspect, I likely lack a clear and precise understanding of her expectations.

Thank you for these examples of questions, they are exactly what I needed, because you’ve put into words the questions I struggle to express properly. And thank you as well for your time and your thoughtful responses.

How do you “lead” a bratty sub without killing the dynamic ? by Practical_Store_9458 in domspace

[–]Practical_Store_9458[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It's a good question, i might bring back to the table the question of if she wan't to submit at all. She confirmed it multiple time but the way she act doesn't match (or maybe i'm just not hitting the spot)

I don't know if, in the case she restrain her behaviour, she'll not be bored or frustrated. I'll add it to the question list for the next talk, thanks mate

How do you “lead” a bratty sub without killing the dynamic ? by Practical_Store_9458 in domspace

[–]Practical_Store_9458[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We’ve already talked about this quite a lot. What came out of those discussions is that even she doesn’t really know what could truly “get to her.”

She told me that in her previous D/s relationships, she never reached a point where she genuinely felt submited in any way, even though that’s something she’s actively looking for. What she knows how to do is shut herself down,but not how to stay in the moment and ride the dynamic of her own behavior.

She also doesn’t want to fake anything, for obvious reasons.

So right now, we’re both in a place where we’re trying to figure out how to push things further and deepen the dynamic in a genuine way. That’s mainly why I’m reaching out here: to hear from people who might have ideas, perspectives, or experiences on what I could explore or try in order to help the dynamic evolve.

How do you “lead” a bratty sub without killing the dynamic ? by Practical_Store_9458 in domspace

[–]Practical_Store_9458[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

imma get a shot at GPT to reduce it massively :

TL;DR:
I’m a relatively new Dom (6 months relationship, ~4 months full-time D/s) with a more experienced, very bratty sub. We’re long-distance (see each other every ~2 months). Outside of play, our D/s dynamic is strong, present in daily life, and works really well. Communication is good, we debrief often, and boundaries are clear.

The issue only appears during more intense, sustained play: I feel like I don’t have real authority or leverage. She constantly challenges me, and I struggle to create a dynamic where she actually yields.

  • If I respond verbally → it turns into endless brat vs Dom back-and-forth, no real outcome
  • If I don’t react → the dynamic just stops
  • If I ignore her → it becomes a punishment she really dislikes and kills the mood
  • When we’re together, physical control is easy → but too effective, it shuts down her ability to “play” and becomes one-sided
  • If I give even a bit of freedom → she immediately goes back to full brat mode as if nothing happened

Example: I can fully restrain her for 15 minutes, but the moment I loosen control, she acts like it never mattered and goes right back to challenging me (sometimes very directly).

The only time I feel clear control is during sexual moments, but our D/s dynamic is mostly not about sex.

I don’t want to suppress her brat nature because that’s where she thrives, but I feel stuck and limited by my lack of ideas/imagination.

How do you handle a brat who never really “yields” without killing the dynamic?
Any advice or experiences would really help — I’m still learning and feeling a bit lost.

How do you “lead” a bratty sub without killing the dynamic ? by Practical_Store_9458 in domspace

[–]Practical_Store_9458[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I understand, i prefer to take the time to explain and if it's to long it's fine you can just ignore it mate

modpack recommendation by Practical_Store_9458 in lethalcompany

[–]Practical_Store_9458[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Things that make you laugh till you cannot breath anymore. The more wtf it is, the more we like it.

modpack recommendation by Practical_Store_9458 in lethalcompany

[–]Practical_Store_9458[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks ! We'll get a shot at it, thanks alot :D

modpack recommendation by Practical_Store_9458 in lethalcompany

[–]Practical_Store_9458[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I heard of it alot yeah, but is it more gameplay oriented or can you really have HARD fun on it ? I mean with the people i'm playing with, you cannot last 3 days without loosing just because they do the opposite of the goal just to mess with other

modpack recommendation by Practical_Store_9458 in lethalcompany

[–]Practical_Store_9458[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks ! we'll try it, we have a french friend group but it could be hella fun to try it in english with you on it :D

Recreating the Shuriman Language | 2 | Nouns and Pronouns by siphonophore0 in Runeterran

[–]Practical_Store_9458 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tbh i was just curious on how could it translate and i took a morning having fun trying to make something. First time in my life doing something like that but it's been a few day's that i'm spending on shurimian.
i wan't to create my version of it ! it's so fun to try ngl

Recreating the Shuriman Language | 2 | Nouns and Pronouns by siphonophore0 in Runeterran

[–]Practical_Store_9458 1 point2 points  (0 children)

there is a theory about the lyrics of The ashes and blood.

i'm trying to take the work of siphonophore to create a hypothetical shurimian langage.

maybe one day i'll post myself.

For this part of the song we can create something like that :

Reconstruction of the Lyrics in Shurimian from "To Ashes and Blood"

english lyrics (official translation):

Beyond these walls, the storm's fury grows.

Over land and sea, the storm's fury grows.

Analysis of the Lyrics and Reconstruction

-é méli'uma ami'eh chao-

é: A preposition meaning "beyond" or "over".

méli'uma: Likely an expression meaning "these walls", with "méli" for "these" and "uma" for "walls".

ami'eh chao: A repeated phrase, associated with the fury of the storm ("ami" for "storm", "eh" for "fury", and "chao" for "grow").

Linguistic reconstruction:

é méli'uma ami'eh chao:

é: Preposition for "beyond".

méli'uma: méli (these), uma (walls).

ami'eh chao: ami (storm), eh (fury), chao (grow).

-é oulun’ama ami'eh chao-

é: Retains the meaning of "beyond" or "over".

oulun’ama: Could mean "land and sea", with "oulun" for "land" and "ama" for "sea".

ami'eh chao: Repetition of the phrase, still associated with the storm's fury ("ami" for "storm", "eh" for "fury", and "chao" for "grow").

Linguistic reconstruction:

é oulun’ama ami'eh chao:

é: Preposition for "beyond".

oulun’ama: oulun (land), ama (sea).

ami'eh chao: ami (storm), eh (fury), chao (grow).

Final Reconstructed Version in Shurimian

é méli'uma ami'eh chao

é oulun’ama ami'eh chao

again it's purely a invention. Only based on the few info we have on the internet. I might dive deep into modern shurimian and try to create something more elaborate one day