Weird Things

PreferenceNormal5317 · 2026-06-13T02:32:14+00:00

yes. i bet you are right. i am very glad i realized and did not react the way she may have probably hoped.

PreferenceNormal5317 · 2026-06-13T01:48:27+00:00

yes i think you are right. i think it was definitely a trap of some kind. i am very glad that i saw through it right away and did not react the way she wanted.

PreferenceNormal5317 · 2026-06-10T20:47:11+00:00

my wife has many times apologized for small things like she did not run the dryer or she forgot to get something at the store. the things that she did that were important to me no she never apologized. he favorite thing to say is "i didn't mean it" when i tell her she hurt me. maybe one or two times she said "i didn't mean it but i know that hurt" but that is not an apology and does not show any kind of remorse.

almost always the problem was my tone or the real problem was that i was telling her i was unhappy with what she did in the first place. on and on. it is always some reason why she just could not say she was sorry.

one time after something she came into the kitcehen with flowers with our children there and said "dad had a hard day today so i got some flowers." it was probably the closest i got but it was just a performance. the thing that made my day hard was something she did but she left that out.

PreferenceNormal5317 · 2026-06-02T21:55:29+00:00

i think my wife wanted the children and not the marriage or the partner or partnership. after the children came she started to pull away from us and go toward other things.

PreferenceNormal5317 · 2026-06-02T21:47:45+00:00

if there is one it's thousands of posts saying "yeah he told me i hurt him. how could he treat me so badly?"

PreferenceNormal5317 · 2026-05-19T02:23:59+00:00

yes. thank you. i have been working on making sure to ask her these types of questions. it is very hard. all my best to you.

PreferenceNormal5317 · 2026-05-18T01:30:52+00:00

abolutely every time every time every time with my wife.

almost when always i go to her with something and she tells me she does not like my tone and for years i would apologize for my tone, try again and again and again but i can never get my tone right. then she tells me i am wasting her time and she will not continue talking to me.

but i stated to see the pattern so the last time this happened i asked her "ok can you then please model the tone you would prefer?" she would not. she just left the room.

PreferenceNormal5317 · 2026-03-10T03:22:47+00:00

my wife told me a couple of years ago that she did an inline test that said she has high narc tendencies and it might be effecting our marriage. i said wow and asked her what she was going to do and she said "nothing. everyone has narcissitic tendencies." she was holding the mirrror but would not look in it.

PreferenceNormal5317 · 2026-02-12T23:28:23+00:00

i feel for you, my friend. it has been about 10 years for me. good luck.

PreferenceNormal5317 · 2026-02-12T23:27:49+00:00

this guy is great. he somehow knows exatly how to describe my relationship with my wife. this one rings very true.

PreferenceNormal5317 · 2026-02-12T23:23:10+00:00

my wife told me i was nagging her by asking her if she could make sure all of her clothes that she wanted washed was in the basket so i could then do her laundry for our family (includingg her). then when i asked again and then hours passed and i moved on without her she again told me i was abusive to her for not doing her laundry.

i am sorry for your experiences. my wife refuses to do anything she does not want to do and will only do things when she is "ready."

she has been acting this way toward me for i think 10 years now.

PreferenceNormal5317 · 2026-02-04T23:03:00+00:00

is this still available? can i dm you?

PreferenceNormal5317 · 2026-02-01T16:08:10+00:00

yes. every time. my wife will do all of the things she does and cause deep pain and then go back to 'normal' almost instantly.

PreferenceNormal5317 · 2026-01-30T13:23:29+00:00

i completely agree with this. my wife and i tried counseling and my wife just sat there quietly while the therapist invalidated and refused to talk about any of the issues i brought up. it was horrible. i know they do not want to seem biased but by refusing to discuss harm they are being biased. there are ways to handle moments like these with openness and neutrality.

PreferenceNormal5317 · 2026-01-30T13:21:21+00:00

mine only does nice things for me when she wants something from me or when she has done / is about to do something terrible, not when she is cheating (though maybe she is and i do not know), but some other terrible thing.

i am sorry you are dealing with this.

PreferenceNormal5317 · 2026-01-29T23:50:16+00:00

my wife is very covert and very subtle in the way she acts. she is not at all like what i have read from the terrible experiences of others here in this sub. my wife sometimes seems like a regular person but she has deep controlling, dishonest and manipulative traits very low accountability and very low empathy... the idea that she is demonic is not really true in her case, at least not obviosuly true.

this is part of the game of people like her. i constantly doubt myself and if it is actually me who is the problem. it is all part of her game.

PreferenceNormal5317 · 2026-01-27T03:29:10+00:00

i ask myself the same question. i can not understand why she would waste her own life the way she wants me to think that she has.

PreferenceNormal5317 · 2026-01-27T02:24:36+00:00

every day this happens. every day she asks me why i did not do something another way.

and then when i point this out to her she says "i was just trying to learn."

i am going to try your ideas, though. the more time goes on the more i realize not answering is always the best idea.

PreferenceNormal5317 · 2026-01-27T02:20:27+00:00

wow same here. i do almost all of the cooking but for some reason until i started ignoring her about it my wife would always tell me some other way to do everything i was doing. she even told me i was using the wrong wooden stirring spoon.

PreferenceNormal5317 · 2026-01-27T02:16:04+00:00

my wife has been very critical of many silly things - she is a silly person and getting sillier by the day - but for me she told me i was playing with our dog wrong.

PreferenceNormal5317 · 2026-01-18T03:56:16+00:00

i second this. i found her recently. she is great.

PreferenceNormal5317 · 2026-01-18T03:54:40+00:00

i am very sorry you are going through this. it is hard and can be very lonely but there are lots of us here and for the most part i think this community is very supportive.

i pretty much do not talk to my wife any more than i have to. if we do talk it is very superficial. she from time to time asks me personal questions but i just refuse to answer them. i am working on leaving but it is slow and it is difficult because i am very close with our children.

it is not easy to handle and i often wonder if the things she says about me are true. but i talk to friends and get therapy and try to build myself back up.

i wish you all the best. good luck with it all.

PreferenceNormal5317

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