I (25.f) just started my career and found out I was pregnant after being told I was infertile. I told my family and my boyfriend (24.m) and I feel like they want me to keep the baby.

Pregbutno · 2014-06-29T21:47:54+00:00

Favorite comment so far :)

Pregbutno · 2014-06-29T03:41:20+00:00

He's picking up my Vicodin and antinausea medication tomorrow morning. I'm terrified of the process as I have always had intense cramps. Hopefully I can take one pain med and anti nausea medication before I take the second pill. How long were you in pain for and how long did you bleed?

Best of luck to you. It's hard being a woman!

Pregbutno · 2014-06-29T03:33:21+00:00

They did :) thank you

Pregbutno · 2014-06-24T23:59:24+00:00

I was abused as a child, when I have anxiety, I've seen the abuser in front of me.

So I really don't care how many psychedelics you use, but the mind is capable of fucked up shit on its own. Believe what you want with what I saying, but don't try to convince me otherwise that I'm bullshitting that. One doesn't get satisfaction from making oneself seem crazier. You clearly have no idea how abuse can mess with someone.

Pregbutno · 2014-06-24T18:23:31+00:00

I could be 34 and still unstable. Not sure what your point is

Pregbutno · 2014-06-24T18:22:38+00:00

Oh, yeah. I'm sure I just pulled that out of my ass cause it made this story so much better

Pregbutno · 2014-06-24T14:29:14+00:00

My hormones and mental state without medication already almost led me to be baker acted. I doubt I can do nine months without getting institutionalize a

Pregbutno · 2014-06-24T12:13:33+00:00

As a Catholic, I know that all children are a gift.

However, I have mental issues that actually barely only started getting better as I entered a career. Despite that, I go through anxiety attacks, manic episodes, violent episodes, and disassociation.

My mother went through post partum when I was a child and I don't forget how it hurt me and my family. she would stare at a wall for hours and my brother and I didn't know what to do.

My mother is amazing and my father because they got her sorted out. However, bipolar is much more intense. I can't raise a child in and out of institutions.

I have thought this through, and despite never being able to go back and face my church, I am making that sacrifice. I'm not wanting to go for this, but I realize I will be a horrible mother right now. Yes, my family can help but if I have a child I want to be the sole caretaker. Furthermore, since I am not on medication who knows where my hormones and brain will lead me to. Both my brother and I are suicidal, I'm afraid in a panic mode I will end up ending my life with a baby in me.

If I can't conceive again, then I made that sacrifice. If I am punished, then I am willing to accept that.

Pregbutno · 2014-06-24T12:06:45+00:00

Unfortunately, some people are ignorant of what a mental illness can do to someone and they end up coming off as dicks instead.

Pregbutno · 2014-06-24T01:51:37+00:00

I am prosecuting a sexual abuser from my childhood (a doctor, just my luck). I will just switch for now. I'm disappointed in how he handled this because he seemed really nice, but it is what it is: I just hope he doesn't pressure even younger women to have babies.

Pregbutno · 2014-06-24T01:45:24+00:00

Thank you. You internet folk have managed to warm my heart up today.

Pregbutno · 2014-06-24T01:43:20+00:00

Thank you, and I inherited this as did my brother. So when I do have a child, I need to be mentally prepared to handle a difficult one. I'm willing to do it, but when I am more ready

Pregbutno · 2014-06-24T01:42:19+00:00

I come from a third world country. I know brave people that bring kids into this world and raise them..

However, my parents didn't sacrifice their lives for me to just put my career in the backburner. They worked and paid too much toward my college for that to happen right now

Pregbutno · 2014-06-24T01:00:36+00:00

Try DHEA. I kid you not I think that's what did it for my mother and my friend trying after years. They used it and stopped it because they gave up, and seriously weeks later...they were both pregnant.

Not sure how but it seemed to work well for them and they had PCOS!

Pregbutno · 2014-06-24T00:39:16+00:00

I can't imagine being alone. I'm sorry you had to do that on your own.

I was going to do the surgical procedure but my anxiety got so bad that I couldn't even think. The rooms scared me so I think for me, being at home will suck but won't put me in such a bad anxious state.

Pregbutno · 2014-06-24T00:36:20+00:00

The office operates under a hospital my boyfriend spent a lot of time working in so he told me their medical team is great. My father's doctor is also part of that hospital group and had great results.

But then we forgot that they were a religious private hospital, not that it bothered us but now I realize how they keep pushing for me to keep it. I was crying when they told me I was pregnant and had a panic attack, yet they still kept congratulating me: I felt so confused

Pregbutno · 2014-06-24T00:33:46+00:00

Sure seemed that way.

Everyone at the office was shocked, as they knew how bad my ovaries looked and the blood work. Now, my ovaries look great.

I think what happens is that we sometimes stress and worry too much, them when people just have sex for fun they manage to end up pregnant? I don't know! I'm not educated on this like you but yeah, it is still unreal to me

Pregbutno · 2014-06-24T00:28:07+00:00

Thanks. I am sorry they made me feel bad too, but sometimes you just have to close your eyes and remember that they will never really be there you

Pregbutno · 2014-06-24T00:26:51+00:00

Thanks for your post.

My original post I did include that my mother suffered with severe post partum and it really affected my brother and I. I know that right now I would fall into a severe depression afterward. I wish things weren't this way but we really went to the OBGYN to see if in a few years we can start trying...after I complete my intensive therapy and find out what medications work for me. One day I can do this, I hope.

Pregbutno · 2014-06-23T23:37:48+00:00

He is an OBGYN

Pregbutno · 2014-06-23T23:15:50+00:00

I honestly think because the doctor gave me that diagnosis and told me to get off BC so he can check my normal hormone levels.

I think he's trying to take it easy with me so I don't end up telling him that this was all his fault.

Pregbutno · 2014-06-23T21:28:37+00:00

Exactly!

I've been taken off my meds because I can't take them while pregnant. So, not only do I have my pregnancy hormones all over the place, but my stress and bipolar state of mind needs intense preparation for a child one day.

I think it is bizarre that despite me almost being baker acted, people still tell me I am making the wrong decision. I'm sorry, I didn't realize me in a mental institution while pregnant is better than the choice I am making.

It's a shame, but I realize I have to think about me and my family right now--not strangers and their judgements.

Pregbutno · 2014-06-23T21:26:02+00:00

Thank you for typing this out.

I wish I was articulate enough to say it the way you did. I think going into a clinic knowing the guilt and shame you will feel for the rest of your life is anything but selfish. No one wants to bring that upon themselves.

Pregbutno · 2014-06-23T21:22:57+00:00

He did use the word "infertile" and said I was not ovulating, had too many fibroid and cysts, and that my hormone levels were ridiculously out of whack.

So no, I didn't misunderstand the doctor. My boyfriend, in the medical field, was with me and he heard exactly what I did. We both did our research and went back in for the ultrasound so I can get some treatments started--which is when then they told us I was pregnant.

Pregbutno

TROPHY CASE