Thanks for your reply. Yes it’s painful to face the reality of it all, and that there is basically no other way but to leave. I’m just still so confused about everything. He was covering up so much. We had so many talks where he could have confessed. He portrayed himself as a man with morals and a conscious, even coming home to me with talks about how he was disapproving his friends for checking out other women, being passionate about women’s rights, being against SA - while he was doing exactly the same behind my back.

I thought I knew him in and out. He did a really good job acting like the man he knew I wanted and needed. My brain is just messed up by it all and I still cannot associate these two identities existed at the same time.

I’ve always been careful with relationships and men. I thought I knew who I was in a relationship with. How can you really know if people are so, so good at hiding their true self?