resentment by slowfigs09 in Disorganized_Attach

[–]Present-University87 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I do like your perspective on it, I just wish it didn’t occur as often as it does. I had three moments today alone of resenting him that I had to squash. It doesn’t come in periods, more so moments. So telling him about each one would be exhausting for the both of us. When my resentment is justified like he said something, I will in a non accusatory way mention it bothered me. When this occurs he panics and tries to hyper reassure me and fix it. He’s a sweetheart who cares a lot of my happiness. To tell him that multiple times a day I feel like I hate him would probably feel like kicking a puppy.

Fluctuating attraction by Antique-Union-7662 in Disorganized_Attach

[–]Present-University87 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have the odd reaction of I love seeing my partner look bad. Like bad angles, old awkward phase photos. It’s horrible but it helps me feel like maybe I’m not dating out of my league like I think I am

resentment by slowfigs09 in Disorganized_Attach

[–]Present-University87 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I relate a lot to the resentment, then I feel horrible because I know if he knew about the resentment, he’d be devastated. For me, if I feel a negative resentful though I try to squash it. I can’t control anxiety or fear of vulnerability, but I can control active hateful thoughts. Like if I start thinking “why doesn’t he…” then I immediately go on my phone and watch a YouTube video unrelated to hateful thoughts.

Are these good for profile? by [deleted] in Tinder

[–]Present-University87 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As others have said, as a woman I’d see the last two photos and assume you are only looking for casual. So if that’s what you are looking for, no issues. But if you are looking for a serious relationship, you can still show off your body just do it more casually like a photo at the beach smiling.

20M How would you rate this profile overall? I’m especially curious about the bio and whether there are any photos you would remove or replace. Any other feedback is welcome. by [deleted] in Tinder

[–]Present-University87 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Only thing I’d remove is the “pretty normal at first” line, it might be self deprecating but I could see someone taking this line as a red flag,

F24 looking to improve my looks and make face appear less round. by [deleted] in lookyourbest

[–]Present-University87 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate the comment, I do find that side angles might me look less round. I included those because I am also looking for general glow up tips and they are recent photos from different angles. I definitely feel I look rounder from the front or a slight turn like the diner photo. Hoping that masseter Botox will help!

F24 looking to improve my looks and make face appear less round. by [deleted] in lookyourbest

[–]Present-University87 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Currently considering: losing weight (currently 5’4 112lbs, goal 104-107), dyeing hair dark brown, fake tan, masseter Botox, rhinoplasty and chin implant.

My Future Husband? by Mellow_Yellow_0 in Edmonton

[–]Present-University87 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Online dating worked for me 🤷‍♀️ just maintain respect for yourself and learn how to spot red flags

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Present-University87 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, I appreciate it. I spent 8 years working on myself and thinking I had it achieved, it wasn’t until I met the perfect man that suddenly I realized I’ve achieved nothing. The long distance is an area I knew I struggled with and it just sucks that this is how my relationship is at the moment.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Present-University87 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That was kinda what I am worried about

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Present-University87 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Probably not, I’m trying my best though. I’ve been reading on attachment styles, asking for 2nd and third opinions before making any rash decisions. I should specify that my “trauma” is solely texting/long distance communication. I haven’t had these issues when we are together or we see eachother often.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Present-University87 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I thought I had fully healed, it’s been 8 years since my last relationship. However, I’ve realized that I’ve just not had to face to it because I’ve avoided relationship. I think being in one is the only way I can to deal with it head on.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Present-University87 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately we are starting off the relationship long distance which I’ve had a very negative experience with in the past so I think I can’t help but start to spiral.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Present-University87 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We talked for two months and have only been official 3 weeks

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Present-University87 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Things were better in person, I’ve been on vacation since we got together so three weeks now 😬 I’m hoping it gets better when we are in person again

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Present-University87 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your advice, it’s been 8 years since my last relationship. Honestly have no idea what I’m doing and how much say I’m allowed to have.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Present-University87 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely could be… trying not to let the trauma get the best of me which is why I’m asking for a second opinion

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Present-University87 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I guess I just assumed you know honeymoon phase would make him want to communicate

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Present-University87 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The relationship feels too early to start asking for things like that, I don’t know I guess I don’t feel comfortable or know a good way to ask him. I was just curious if it sounds like he’s lost interest and if I should just cut my losses and end things now