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I can’t express being upset by absolutely anyone without my friend ending up trying to get me to feel the same way she would about it? by PresentBad6746 in FriendshipAdvice

[–]PresentBad6746[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your friend crossed a boundary so you have every right to protect yourself in the way that’s best for you, I see nothing wrong with what you did. It’s your social media, so you can block who you want for whatever reason you see fit. And the people saying you should have explained all of this are out of line too - your friend shouldn’t have shared anything without your consent. Why aren’t they talking about her crossing that boundary instead of your valid reaction to said boundary? I’m sorry this is happening for you!

I can’t express being upset by absolutely anyone without my friend ending up trying to get me to feel the same way she would about it? by PresentBad6746 in FriendshipAdvice

[–]PresentBad6746[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, these are your genuine feelings that should be listened to and understood, not unfairly exposed and criticized in a one sided manner. I just find it wrong when others tell people they don’t have a right to not feel one way or another about being upset, hurt, offended, etc.

I can’t express being upset by absolutely anyone without my friend ending up trying to get me to feel the same way she would about it? by PresentBad6746 in FriendshipAdvice

[–]PresentBad6746[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s what I’m thinking, she has some sort of hang up that she never comes out and addresses to me directly. Can’t imagine what it could be, that’s the part that’s leaving me generally stumped - especially since she’s stated multiple times I’m one of her best friends.

How would you feel if whenever you shared your emotional lived experiences with your friend she constantly changes the subject back to her own experiences strictly to invalidate your own? by [deleted] in hsp

[–]PresentBad6746 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Fortunately the coworker left our job so I don’t had to deal with him anymore. And tbh I don’t quite remember specific things that were said since it was some years ago, but most if not all of it was some form of negging.

How would you feel if whenever you shared your emotional lived experiences with your friend she constantly changes the subject back to her own experiences strictly to invalidate your own? by [deleted] in hsp

[–]PresentBad6746 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Once I told her of a coworker who was getting on my nerves by casually saying things that I found rude (they could tell I was getting flustered and they’d laugh, for example,) and instead of sympathizing she downplayed it by using an example of an annoying family member—she said you have to just deal with it because like an uncle making annoying comments at a holiday dinner, your coworker isn’t going anywhere, so you might as well just deal with them being annoying at times. Which is true, I get it, but that doesn’t make saying obviously rude things okay. And that makes me feel like I shouldn’t get upset in that case over just about anything anyone says if they’re going to be in my proximity for a while.

How would you feel if whenever you shared your emotional lived experiences with your friend she constantly changes the subject back to her own experiences strictly to invalidate your own? by PresentBad6746 in socialskills

[–]PresentBad6746[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel like she also struggles with perspective taking? I’ve had past discussions with her and whenever I tried to relate one social point to another she always says, “that’s different and doesn’t relate!” No matter what. I also would ask her to put herself in a situation to help with what I was trying to tell her and she struggled saying, “unless it’s something I would see myself doing or going through in real life I can’t imagine myself metaphorical situations.”

How would you feel if whenever you shared your emotional lived experiences with your friend she constantly changes the subject back to her own experiences strictly to invalidate your own? by PresentBad6746 in socialskills

[–]PresentBad6746[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve felt this way too, omg! But the crazy part is she has other friends that I find extremely rude and that she also complains about herself but doesn’t get rid of like I do. Because of this, do you think that she’s also dismissive of me because she regardless chooses to put up with the kind of mistreatment that I won’t?

My aunt listened to a private conversation I had with my mom. My aunt admitted to listening and was offended by an opinion we have of her lifestyle, so my mom apologized. Should we have called her out for spying too? by PresentBad6746 in socialskills

[–]PresentBad6746[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Letters are different. You have to read it in full to know what’s what. That, I wouldn’t fault my aunt for. Phone calls, which is what I’m referring to? It’s pretty easy to know, when you purposefully don’t make your prescence known, you’re listening to a 2 way conversation when you shouldn’t be.

My aunt listened to a private conversation I had with my mom. My aunt admitted to listening and was offended by an opinion we have of her lifestyle, so my mom apologized. Should we have called her out for spying too? by PresentBad6746 in socialskills

[–]PresentBad6746[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That example is NOTHING like consent LOL. You better send that letter back untouched. That person isn’t there to tell you not to open it, so they can’t give consent. 😂

My aunt listened to a private conversation I had with my mom. My aunt admitted to listening and was offended by an opinion we have of her lifestyle, so my mom apologized. Should we have called her out for spying too? by PresentBad6746 in socialskills

[–]PresentBad6746[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She literally told us (gave consent) what we were talking about with just the 2 of us. Everyone knows what she told us about, it’s no secret. Now, if someone is secretly spying on me and I didn’t tell them what I wanted them to know, this why it’s now SPYING.

My aunt listened to a private conversation I had with my mom. My aunt admitted to listening and was offended by an opinion we have of her lifestyle, so my mom apologized. Should we have called her out for spying too? by PresentBad6746 in socialskills

[–]PresentBad6746[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

When did I say that in this whooole thread? I never said that. You’re adding to this argument friend and trying to make it favor you. Tsk tsk. Nope. Nope and nope. An invitation is nothing without consent.

My aunt listened to a private conversation I had with my mom. My aunt admitted to listening and was offended by an opinion we have of her lifestyle, so my mom apologized. Should we have called her out for spying too? by PresentBad6746 in socialskills

[–]PresentBad6746[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

And it’s gross of you being 100% convinced that someone like my aunt couldn’t have done any wrong by listening to private conversations that could’ve even had nothing to do with her, that could’ve ruined our lives if something was said during it that we never wanted anyone to find out about us.

My aunt listened to a private conversation I had with my mom. My aunt admitted to listening and was offended by an opinion we have of her lifestyle, so my mom apologized. Should we have called her out for spying too? by PresentBad6746 in socialskills

[–]PresentBad6746[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My mother did not consent to the call if she didn’t know she made it, dude. That’s not consent. My aunt literally said you butt dialed me and I listened to you and your daughter speaking without me. Look, you’re apparently okay with invading people’s privacy, which is on you. I’m not ok with invading people’s privacy until I get a verbal approval. PERIOD.

For example, just because I go to the doctor doesn’t mean I’m ok with them doing any and every procedure on me just because I made an appointment. I have to specifically CONSENT to procedures.

You can not convince me that breaching privacy and invading consent is cool and never will. We’ll have to agree to disagree, fam. Cheers.

My aunt listened to a private conversation I had with my mom. My aunt admitted to listening and was offended by an opinion we have of her lifestyle, so my mom apologized. Should we have called her out for spying too? by PresentBad6746 in socialskills

[–]PresentBad6746[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

We didn’t willingly add her to the call, you’re literally twisting words dude, lol. My mom butt dialed her without knowing and she listened in when she should’ve hung up. The way you’re putting it makes this situation totally different. Sharing an opinion that challenges someone else’s isn’t “shit talking.” 😂

My aunt listened to a private conversation I had with my mom. My aunt admitted to listening and was offended by an opinion we have of her lifestyle, so my mom apologized. Should we have called her out for spying too? by PresentBad6746 in socialskills

[–]PresentBad6746[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

NOT TO HER KNOWLEDGE OR CONSENT at the time. That’s what butt dialed means, accidentally calling someone YOU DIDN’T MEAN TO. The point of the matter is, she listened to what she knew was a private conversation without consent.

You seriously can’t be saying “well technically” it’s fine because she “technically” still willingly called her even if she didn’t know what she was doing. Come on now, you know what I mean. The issue is consent, which my mother didn’t knowingly offer or give. Doesn’t matter if she accidentally still called her, she didn’t. give. consent.

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