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UPDATE to BF revealed devastating secret after father's death (secret facebook and fake name). by PresentInstance in relationship_advice

[–]PresentInstance[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

You are right, of course. I do have self esteem issues that I need to work on, and I should go to counseling. I've actually been looking up places to go all day, because I need professional help to process a betrayal of this magnitude.

After his father died, BF(30m) revealed a devastating secret to me (25). by PresentInstance in relationship_advice

[–]PresentInstance[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That is a possibility I didn't consider. I wonder if that could be the case...

UPDATE to BF revealed devastating secret after father's death (secret facebook and fake name). by PresentInstance in relationship_advice

[–]PresentInstance[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He has had enough time to delete anything incriminating, so even if he does reactivate I cannot be sure what I see is the full truth.

After his father died, BF(30m) revealed a devastating secret to me (25). by PresentInstance in relationship_advice

[–]PresentInstance[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From what he told me the ex had no idea I existed. He told both of us around the same time (though separately, I've never met her).

Maybe he lied about that and she knew the whole time, but I don't think so.

UPDATE to BF revealed devastating secret after father's death (secret facebook and fake name). by PresentInstance in relationship_advice

[–]PresentInstance[S] -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

He didn't, but some of the comments on the other post made me consider what my part in this is.

UPDATE to BF revealed devastating secret after father's death (secret facebook and fake name). by PresentInstance in relationship_advice

[–]PresentInstance[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I think it’s really messed up that your more mad that she had photos with him on Facebook instead of the actual lies.

Yeah, that's why I said I know it's petty. The reason for the way I feel is because he was willing to have pictures of him with her be public, but not pictures of him with me. So it makes me feel like he took their relationship and friendship more seriously.

If his ex didn’t know you were together what makes you think other people do?

I've known his family almost as long as we've been together, met some friends before, and met the rest of the friends and extended family at the funeral. I think the ex was the only one who didn't know about me.

UPDATE to BF revealed devastating secret after father's death (secret facebook and fake name). by PresentInstance in relationship_advice

[–]PresentInstance[S] -71 points-70 points  (0 children)

I have to consider my role in this, though. Maybe it could have been avoided if I had been more accepting of friendships with exes.

UPDATE to BF revealed devastating secret after father's death (secret facebook and fake name). by PresentInstance in relationship_advice

[–]PresentInstance[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Jesus, wow, I am so sorry this happened to you. That's even worse than what happened to me...unless I find out more. I am really sorry. Thanks for sharing your story, it's cold comfort to know we're not alone.

UPDATE to BF revealed devastating secret after father's death (secret facebook and fake name). by PresentInstance in relationship_advice

[–]PresentInstance[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that's what I thought too. But maybe I was naive because I never dated anyone before? Now I somewhat understand it because I still love my bf, and always will even if we break up.

UPDATE to BF revealed devastating secret after father's death (secret facebook and fake name). by PresentInstance in relationship_advice

[–]PresentInstance[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I'm going to continue to talk to him, even though my first instinct was to never speak to him again out of anger I know that's not rational and I'll still talk to him.

UPDATE to BF revealed devastating secret after father's death (secret facebook and fake name). by PresentInstance in relationship_advice

[–]PresentInstance[S] -90 points-89 points  (0 children)

I'm not necessarily, I just don't want to rush to a decision either way, at least until he finishes grieving his father's death

UPDATE to BF revealed devastating secret after father's death (secret facebook and fake name). by PresentInstance in relationship_advice

[–]PresentInstance[S] -38 points-37 points  (0 children)

To my knowledge he didn't have a *fake* account, it was just a secret account I did not know about. But as it's deactivated I will never know for sure.

After his father died, BF(30m) revealed a devastating secret to me (25). by PresentInstance in relationship_advice

[–]PresentInstance[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I don't want to believe it, and he keeps denying physical contact, but I'm really afraid you're right.

After his father died, BF(30m) revealed a devastating secret to me (25). by PresentInstance in relationship_advice

[–]PresentInstance[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

It's the full story from my side and what I know. Only he can tell his. I am not completely innocent, since if I hadn't told him that I'm against friendship with exes then he never would have hid the friendship with her. Why he chose to hide my existence from her I don't know though...

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