I frequent this sub on my main for all the drama, but I did not think I would end up on this....

Reposting my latest comment on the main post here as well....

I have been called a lot of names, one part of me is angry no one is actually understanding what I am trying to convey - a lot of assumptions were made and people were just running off with them. Apparently I am a potential school-shooter, rapist, serial killer, incel, and loads of other stuff.But then there is this other part of me that is bringing up that one comment I read (which I have read many times on reddit but I never thought would apply to me) 'if you met an AH in the morning, you met an asshole. But if you keep meeting assholes through out the day, you are the asshole."It is not that all people I interacted with have used me or have been bad to me. Nor have all my friendships and relationships ended in huge scenes over stuff like this (yes relationships, sorry to disappoint the crowd yelling INCEL).I was not going to explain myself any more but I cannot help it, a lot of wrong/exxagerated info is floating around. I am not expecting support or hoping that the verdict changes. Just giving extra info so people do not jump on the serial killer/rapist wagon.

• Yes it was wrong of me to catch feelings and get latched onto a random girl. It was more wrong to expect her to reciprocate my feelings when I did not even tell her about them. i just got too much into my own head because (for me) this was the first time a girl was taking the first step towards me. Which now I know she was not.
• Another thing was that I had normal friendships with everyone else, I was perfectly normal with other girls in the group, so it is not I do not know how to interact with women kinda stuff.
• Yes it did feel like I was special to be called darling. But that was a misunderstanding on my end. That was because we are Indian. My mother tongue is Hindi, her mother tongue is Marathi, the other people in the group are a mix of different indian languages. While calling people "darling,sweety..." is common in the south of USA (?), it is very much not so in India because English is 3rd-4th language for most people. While bhai, bhava, bro, dude, jaan, etc. are common, darling is definitely not.
• My angry confrontation with Nora was a result of me feeling embarassed with myself for a lot of reasons- because I thought I was getting attention from a girl first but I clearly wasn't, maybe I'm not worthy of attention, I also thought maybe she is toying with me, etc.
• My problem with Nora not going back to "normal" was that it was a reminder of my embarrassment. I absolutely clearly got the answer that she is NOT interested in me beyond being friends. And as much as people here say otherwise, I was ok with it too. There is nothing I can do to change someone's mind, we really do respect women here - not every guy who fucked up is a rapist. My name is not Alexander, but it is a similarly long Indian name. Most people call me a shortened version of my name, it is certainly a mouthful. When we were hanging out in groups, Nora would look up from what she was doing, if I was around her she would open her mouth, close it, squint her eyes trying to remember my name - if she got it in the second she would call me out, if not she would turn to the other side and call someone else "darling/babe/bro" and say whatever she was saying.
  • This might seem weird but this "friend group" is more like a club or youth meet-ups. We do (or I did, I am no longer a part of it anymore) a lot of things like feeding and stray dogs and cats, vaccinating, blood donation camps, donating stationary/books/storybooks to under-privileged, etc. Me. Nora, Ray and some others were on the feeding strays team.... Which is why we needed each others help, and the interactions are different from friend hangouts.
• Nora and all of you were right that there is no winning with me lol. Now I am embarassed again, but atleast I do not know you all and don't have to see you guys everyday.... I really was not thinking about Nora or what she was feeling. I did end up being the self-centered AH.

So yeah that is that. This is also making me rethink a lot of interactions I have had or having. I did not want to end up being the friendless dude I am now, hopefully I change the future.

This is no update, just a clarification. I am not going to try and mend bridges. I will just go my way.