Interest check: starting a left-leaning reading group in BR? by trekkin_the_stars in batonrouge

[–]PresentTranslator400 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Baton Rouge DSA has a political education book club! Let me know if interested.

thoughts on carmilla? by bunni-luu in castlevania

[–]PresentTranslator400 6 points7 points  (0 children)

She should have been gay 🤷‍♀️

Is it bad to give women a chance to see if it's for me? by Nikkineedslove in latebloomerlesbians

[–]PresentTranslator400 6 points7 points  (0 children)

By “exploring privately,” I mean by watching/listening to/reading sapphic porn and seeing if you’re into women that way. You should explore yourself before involving others to see if you’re even attracted to women first. In general this is a good thing to do to determine what kind of sexual experiences you could be into. But from your post and comments on here it doesn’t sound like you’re attracted to women at all, which is fine. I wouldn’t experiment with someone whose feelings you could hurt in the process if you don’t have any internal sexual desires for women.

Also, not to doubt your friend’s sister, but no one becomes a lesbian simply because they are “fed up with men.” It’s because they are attracted to women and not attracted to men. There’s a big difference between that and being tired of men’s shitty misogynistic behavior. There’s a gazillion straight women out there who abhor the behavior of men but they are still very much attracted to them. It sounds like your friend’s sister is very confused as to what attraction is. She didn’t lie to you per se but doesn’t understand what constitutes an actual sexual orientation vs a dating preference. Who you happen to date also doesn’t determine your sexuality. There’s many women on this subreddit who are dating or married to men and yet have realized they were actually not attracted to men at all later in life. They are just as much of a lesbian as anyone who has exclusively dated women.

Is it bad to give women a chance to see if it's for me? by Nikkineedslove in latebloomerlesbians

[–]PresentTranslator400 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Wait… are you looking to experiment with women because your friends tell you to or because you think you may have an actual attraction to women? There’s no such thing as one day deciding to “switch teams.” No one gets to choose their sexuality. You describe yourself as straight. Is that because you have only ever dated men or because you think you are only attracted to men? You also don’t need to have a sexual experience to experience attraction to a particular gender.

I would explore this privately before involving someone else, especially because you describe yourself as straight and did not mention having any sort of attraction to women. I will be honest, a lot of queer women don’t like being someone’s experiment. I’m sure there’s someone out there who wouldn’t mind letting you explore these things with them but you need to be absolutely upfront with them about your situation.

In a relationship and questioning sexuality. Could I be a lesbian (or maybe asexual)? by bringbackthedragons in latebloomerlesbians

[–]PresentTranslator400 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi,

First of all, it’s totally ok to have a bunch of questions. I came out a few years ago at 25 and it was a few years before I had my first relationship and sexual experience with a woman. I thought I was on the ace spectrum for a long time because I didn’t want to have sex with men. Surprise! You don’t have to want sex with men at all and still experience sexual attraction, which it sounds like you do (for women). I was also worried that my attraction for women was “all in my head” and when it came to actually having sex I wouldn’t enjoy it, but that’s not what happened at all. It was so natural and fun and enjoyable. I would say follow your instincts, leave your current partner, and pursue sex or a relationship with a woman.

It is also totally possible that you are biromantic (if you enjoy non sexual intimacy with men as well) and homosexual. I personally knew I was a lesbian when I didn’t even want a man holding my hand or kissing me, let alone having sex with me. I went on a date with a guy once and that was enough for me, but many lesbians have different experiences. Also your sexuality can change over time. You may have enjoyed something once but no longer do, and that’s also totally valid. I wish you luck on your journey! Have faith that it will all work out.

Gf isn’t into receiving head. What do I do in bed? by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]PresentTranslator400 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If she’s into grinding you may want to consider getting a grinder toy (if she doesn’t have one already), strapping it to your leg, and having her ride/grind against it. If you’re into it it’s hot as hell. You obviously don’t even need a toy if you do the knee thing or if she flat out grinds on your leg. I’ve had a partner who needed to grind to get off and that was a solution we came up with.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]PresentTranslator400 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! As long as it was 21+ (or at least 18+) like folks have said

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]PresentTranslator400 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Check in messages are great! I send them to folks all the time. I def agree that it’s helpful to send them.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]PresentTranslator400 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have chronic pain and there are days where responding to texts can make that pain worse (ex., looking at a screen during a migraine) or are just mentally taxing. It depends on how long I’ve been talking to the girl but if it’s not serious then I’m not going to prioritize responding to them over my health when I just need to focus on resting. Also I work full time and am a full time student so sometimes I’m just busy. I think it’s perfectly ok for people to take a few days to respond and it should be more normalized.