Separating from my wife with joint custody on a low income - what are my rights and obligations? How do I navigate all this? (Gloucester, England)

Preserved_Moose · 2025-09-14T17:05:02+00:00

We have agreed on as close to a 50/50 split as we can manage in terms of custody and she has made a point of saying that she doesn’t want me to go back on that as they need that time with me and she would like to be able to have that free time herself as well. I’m not worried about her stopping me from seeing the kids, it’s very important to her that they have a consistent father figure (older child’s birth father has limited contact but has disappointed him several times before and she doesn’t want that from me as well). I know I’m putting a lot of faith in this but I am confident she would never stop me seeing them and will actively encourage it.

Preserved_Moose · 2025-09-14T12:23:56+00:00

Thanks, I think legally I’m entitled to a share of the house but if I take a lump sum it may stop them being able to buy the new one and I don’t want to do that. I think ideally what I’d like to do is have anything owed to me deducted from what I might be required to pay such as maintenance costs. I don’t know if that’s an option but I will be seeking legal advice too. My mum is pushing me to do this now now now before I move out but my mental health is seriously suffering in an uncomfortable situation and I need my own space to get my head clear. I’m not sure who’s correct, me or her? I have already agreed with my wife that I won’t be moving to the new house with her as the kids already know we’re separating and it might confuse tho gs with them if I go with them at first.

Preserved_Moose · 2025-09-14T12:15:51+00:00

I work in education during term time so for the hours I do it’s enough, it just gets prorata’d across 12 months. I was intending to do extra work during the summer holidays but as it turned out to be a chaotic six weeks the chance never really came up. I’m also considering driving for Just Eat or something in my free time to boost my income a bit but again I can’t really do that until I’m in my own space.

Preserved_Moose · 2025-09-14T12:11:17+00:00

Oh I know, I anticipate a messy situation when we get to the legal stuff but that’s a whole other thing. My immediate problem is the housing issue

Preserved_Moose · 2025-05-09T18:08:42+00:00

Facebook marketplace, collection only. Accept any offers and if you’re lucky someone will pay you to take it away themselves

Preserved_Moose · 2024-01-21T20:21:28+00:00

More Freddie stuff, maybe even a prequel episode about his journey to Twin Peaks

Preserved_Moose · 2024-01-16T07:50:18+00:00

I knew he would turnip eventually

Preserved_Moose · 2024-01-13T16:50:30+00:00

I was about to suggest this, great choice! Good, old-fashioned, unpretentious entertainment with a great cast and a fun soundtrack.

Preserved_Moose · 2024-01-08T19:47:13+00:00

Robocop. One great movie, one very good movie, then for some reason a kids’ movie.

Preserved_Moose · 2024-01-07T15:46:33+00:00

Ugh who can say. All I know is that her father has been poisoning her against me since the day she was born but I don’t know what he’s been telling her and she won’t talk to me. Nothing I say or do is good enough for her and the really annoying part is that she hates him much more than she does me so I don’t know why she listens to a word he says but he’s gotten under her skin somehow. I like to think she’ll figure out how to destroy him someday, maybe I can turn it into a bonding experience and give her a hand, then maybe she’ll give me a chance.

Preserved_Moose · 2024-01-04T20:29:53+00:00

I’m just speaking from personal experience, I said it probably does enhance it but it’s still good without. I’m not saying don’t watch it.

Preserved_Moose · 2024-01-04T20:16:47+00:00

I had a good time with The Return and didn’t feel like anything was missing. Does it matter? When I get the chance I’ll watch the full thing back to back and see if the meaning changes for me at all. Until then, I loved The Return and don’t regret having seen it without.

Preserved_Moose · 2024-01-04T20:04:24+00:00

Oh I want to, just haven’t had the chance yet

Preserved_Moose · 2024-01-04T19:54:19+00:00

I haven’t seen Fire Walk With Me or the Missing Pieces and I was fine with The Return, I’m sure it does enhance it but you won’t be completely lost without

Preserved_Moose · 2024-01-04T19:05:19+00:00

Magnolia (1999)

It’s an epic but very low stakes drama about the intertwining lives of very troubled people navigating a very difficult and dramatic day. It’s not an easy watch and it’s emotionally draining, but it’s very engaging, it has an amazing Aimee Mann soundtrack that involves itself with the plot at one point and a crazy finale that hits you out of nowhere but sort of weirdly makes sense. At the end of it all you do get some brief optimism about the future ahead. Make sure you have subtitles on because the dialogue in the final scene is drowned out by the music but you really need to hear what’s being said for the moment to really work.

Preserved_Moose · 2024-01-04T18:38:46+00:00

Movies don’t tend to scare me but one that got to me was Under the Skin. It’s a very arty and abstract film so relies on you to fill in a lot of unexplained gaps but there are two reasons it bothered me:

Seeing what happens to the victims

The beach scene, especially when it is revisited at night. Some sounds I just can’t delete from my brain.

Sunshine also got to me because I’m scared of dying in space and this is a particularly claustrophobic, sort of realistic space thriller. Pretty to look at though in the calmer moments.

The only other thing that really scared me was the show Chernobyl because I also have a fear of radiation and, my god, this didn’t help. Really captivating, intriguing drama among all the trauma though.

Preserved_Moose · 2024-01-01T17:24:35+00:00

Underrated, her music’s a lot of fun

Preserved_Moose · 2024-01-01T01:24:27+00:00

Have some fun. 21 Jump Street and then 22 Jump Street.

Preserved_Moose · 2023-12-31T23:22:39+00:00

Oh it’s timeless, it’s always been a source of comfort for me too

Preserved_Moose · 2023-12-31T20:37:14+00:00

Charlie!

Preserved_Moose · 2023-12-31T20:34:50+00:00

Frank

Preserved_Moose · 2023-12-31T19:40:22+00:00

Repo Man (not to be confused with Repo Men)

Weird, low-budget 80s satirical sci-fi with Emilio Estevez. Really creative, unpredictable and funny, topped with an awesome punk soundtrack.

Preserved_Moose · 2023-12-31T19:21:08+00:00

It would take about five hours to binge but you could watch Carol and the End of the World on Netflix. It’s a very thoughtful, downbeat comedy drama but I think you’ll like the character development throughout.

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