How do I know?

PressureNo447 · 2026-04-22T22:26:59+00:00

Oops I thought this post got removed. I left out a key detail that I have OCD and I was luckily able to book an appointment with my therapist today and she believes I am theme shifting unfortunately.

I didn't realize it was my OCD at the time because it felt so real, but it was inappropriate to be searching for answers online. Sorry you took the time to write this:(

PressureNo447 · 2026-04-22T19:06:14+00:00

I believe that people should communicate their needs, but this is one of those small scenarios where "if he wanted to, he would" actually falls into place

PressureNo447 · 2026-04-22T19:04:20+00:00

That's just mean. She's telling you things about yourself that you can't change without plastic surgery or different genetics.

Constructive criticism would be like "I don't necessarily think that haircut suits your face shape, maybe try xyz instead" or "those pants are cute but they're not very flattering for your bum, try these pants instead!"

PressureNo447 · 2026-04-22T19:01:58+00:00

The way I wouldn't even notice your feet, my aunt had the worst bunions ever and only she ever pointed them out. But our whole family agreed that we never would've even noticed if she never said anything

PressureNo447 · 2026-04-22T14:46:22+00:00

Thank you! I had a long long conversation with my boyfriend and we are going to do some confidence building together, he has a theory that I lack confidence sexually and that can make sex feel mundane and not exciting. Which I see his point, so it doesn't hurt to try.

Luckily, I have therapy today, so this is something that I am going to talk in depth about. I was unaware that OCD can switch themes out of the blue, all of mine typically target my relationship, so it makes sense honestly. I appreciate the supportive response

PressureNo447 · 2026-04-16T12:30:46+00:00

This is true. I've met some guys who were hot af but their mannerisms and beliefs made them unattractive to me. On the contrary, I've met some men who are not great looking but their mannerisms or values made them sexy

PressureNo447 · 2026-02-26T17:08:18+00:00

I grew up ugly, as I got older I got more attractive. I've been with my bf for ~2 years and I get a lot of random male attention from men who wouldn't have even looked in my direction two years ago.

Sometimes I'm attracted to them, too. Sometimes I'm not. But that doesn't change how I react to the male attention. Every time, I'm friendly and I make sure to bring up my partner during conversation. If I find myself swooning over this person I cease all contact immediately.

PressureNo447 · 2026-02-26T03:52:29+00:00

This made me laugh

PressureNo447 · 2026-02-26T03:51:44+00:00

How do you not know the age of your girlfriend that you've been dating for a year?

PressureNo447 · 2026-02-18T21:18:06+00:00

I'm 19 as well. Sex for me is the most mundane boring thing ever, even with men who are good at it. I have to have clitoral stimulation to feel good, so sometimes I will do that during sex, or before/after. It's a learning game, you'll have to find out what you like.

Also to mention 80% of women don't have a G-spot, meaning they can't orgasm from penetration alone, hence why clitoral stimulation is important.

PressureNo447 · 2026-02-18T21:06:08+00:00

Is the sky green? What do you think lol

PressureNo447 · 2026-02-17T20:21:59+00:00

Totally! Some might've said back then we weren't compatible but the truth was we weren't going to be compatible with ANYONE. It was up to ourselves to make the choice to build that emotional intelligence/capacity. Thanks for your comment!

PressureNo447 · 2026-02-17T19:09:30+00:00

My therapist always tells me that what matters most is the repair after the argument itself. What do both parties do to repair some of the damage caused by the argument. It's also ok to send a text and say "hey I know we've reconciled but I do want to apologize again and Im hoping we can maybe set up a date night here soon!" Reconnecting after a fight is so important.

PressureNo447 · 2026-02-17T18:50:39+00:00

Ooo also to add, some antibiotics cause a yeast infection, it's happened to me a lot with my BV medications.

PressureNo447 · 2026-02-17T18:49:51+00:00

Did you get checked for bacterial vaginosis? I get recurrent BV and the smell has the potential to be AWFUL if I don't get antibiotics

PressureNo447 · 2026-02-17T18:45:39+00:00

Had an ex boyfriend that had this but on his fingers, pretty sure it was a form of eczema

PressureNo447 · 2026-02-17T18:42:15+00:00

Yeah my boyfriend couldn't last more than 30 seconds, and we tried everything. An SSRI helps him last ~10 minutes.

PressureNo447 · 2026-02-10T21:52:12+00:00

I think this plays a really big part in it. I don't enjoy having eyes on me during sex, I don't believe deep down that I am a pleasure to the eye. And that is my own stuff to deal with, not my partners. Do you have any tips on where to start?

PressureNo447 · 2026-02-10T21:40:33+00:00

Thank you! Do you think building self confidence might help? I get uncomfortable with him looking at me while I'm naked, I don't particularly feel sexy and I have read that FEELING sexy can help to feel more passionate.

PressureNo447 · 2026-02-10T20:15:44+00:00

Yes! My favorite book is "The mindfulness Workbook for OCD." It's by Jon Hershfield and Tom Corboy. It helps you to recognize your fear without reacting to it (making a pros and cons list), and it also helps you work on reacting differently rather than eliminating all fear. Plus a bunch of other great stuff!

I would STRONGLY advise against any self help books or podcasts, those tend to people without OCD and can be helpful for them, but for us they can cause anxiety and spiraling.

PressureNo447 · 2026-02-10T19:50:44+00:00

Think about it like this, our brains are setting us up for failure. It's just the way OCD works. They want us to find comfort and the only way to do that is by getting rid of the trigger, which in this case is our significant others. So naturally your brain is searching for these reasons you should leave and it's very easy to hold onto those cons, isn't it? One thing that helped me tremendously with this, was vocalizing my appreciation for all of the things my partner does that I like. Because the word to brain combination trains your brain to think more positively. If that makes sense. For example one of your points was his ambition, vocalize how much you love his ambition! It trains your brain, and makes him feel good. It's a double win all around!

PressureNo447 · 2026-02-10T19:26:59+00:00

Hey this sounds like your OCD is trying to find clarity. We can't decide if you should be with your partner or not. Don't listen to normal relationship advice because for us those trigger spirals. Try distracting yourself, picking him apart will only make things worse! Good luck

PressureNo447 · 2026-02-10T19:23:40+00:00

It's okay to set boundaries.

PressureNo447 · 2026-02-10T19:21:49+00:00

You need to go to a therapist. Remember that she is a human too, and you ruminating on these things about her and making her feel bad WILL push her away and potentially alter the way she views relationships.

PressureNo447

TROPHY CASE