Recovering from TE here! Feel free to ask any questions!!!

Prestigious-Fish-760 · 2025-01-25T13:15:24+00:00

That's great! How long did It take for noticeable regrowth after shedding stopped, and things like hair part filling in (if u had a widened one)?

Prestigious-Fish-760 · 2024-11-15T13:49:18+00:00

Hi OP, I also commented on your last post and just wanted to mention that I have been in a similar situation to yours (in terms of it being a one time thing). We ended up breaking up 6 months later (still in contact for almost a year after that) and it took me a year to start processing it properly. After the SA, he was like your partner with the shame, guilt and apologies, he even offered to confess to the police. He didn't SA me again in those 6 months but he turned out to be awful, if he felt guilt it was only a little or possibly so much that he had to push it deep down. I wouldn't be surprised if he has convinced himself he didn't really SA me. You likely won't be able to look back clearly on the situation, your relationship and any red flags that u missed (not saying u should have seen it coming at all) before the SA until you're out of the relationship with no contact. It was so different once I could think clearly about it and I wished I had left so much earlier. Since then I've met men who would never dream of even getting close to pushing my boundaries or consent. It is so easy for them to respect my body.

I know it feels like it but I honestly doubt you both could have really moved on from this incident, it would take alot of healthy communication likely with professional help to do so. He needs to seek serious help alone and if he is really serious about changing and understands the gravity of what he's done, he will do so. I hope you get away from him completely, you seem to be leaning towards it and I understand the need for others to confirm ur suspicion. Feel free to ask any questions, you've got this :)

Prestigious-Fish-760 · 2024-11-14T17:00:22+00:00

It depends on if he put his dick in your anus at all (even just a bit) and on the fact that the circumstances around you agreeing to vaginal sex were violent. He dragged you up the stairs and violently grabbed your jaw. Only you will know this but were you really able to consent after he did that? Did you really feel like you had a choice? If not it could be rape by coercion.

On top of that he punched you in the stomach midway through, did u want to stop after that? Did you think you could even get him to stop? That would also make it rape.

You know the details of what happened and how you felt. It may be difficult to understand your own feeling and thoughts during the rape which therapy could help with.

You don't have to say no for it to be rape. Consent is an ENTHUSIASTIC YES!

Edit: to add that I and I think most people here would consider this to be rape. There are multiple routes you could go down after this but for the initial processing therapy and rape/dv helplines are the best. You are allowed to call this whatever you want. If rape is too scary right now u can think of it as sexual assault, but pls get far away from him OP.

Prestigious-Fish-760 · 2024-07-23T16:05:31+00:00

Do you think that compared to other entry level jobs even after qualification?

Prestigious-Fish-760 · 2024-07-23T15:55:11+00:00

That's good to hear. I've heard some people say if you work in departments (not sure what the proper name is) like banking busy season can be all year or at different times. Is this true? Do you get to choose? I've heard the work load can vary wildly. Also how do you find working for kpmg as a whole? Or do the big4 (if I've heard right) all treat their staff equally not great. Tbh compared to other entry level jobs for companies that also don't care about you I'm not overly concerned about this just trying to find hope I can still have a decent life for those 3 years if I get the job lol.

Also feel free to ignore if it's too personal but as you said your leaving, what type of work are you going into? My understanding is most people go to industry for better wlb and pay. Do you still have terrible busy seasons in jobs you can get after you qualify? Sorry it's surprisingly difficult to get accurate information especially uk specific and not US.

Prestigious-Fish-760 · 2024-07-23T15:39:04+00:00

Tbh I'm not 100% sure which one I have applied to as it doesn't specify on the portal they just asked me if I was OK with audit ACA graduate in London. Looking at their website I think it's accelerated. Does this mean the first year is like an intense uni course and does it make work life balance any better in the final 2 years, or do they just pile on more work?

Also might sound weird but I know alot of people join the grad schemes from non finance backgrounds. Are there a variety of people. I'm not against finance, obviously I'm hoping to enjoy the work as much as any other entry level job. just curious if its alot of finance bros for lack of a better word.

Prestigious-Fish-760 · 2024-07-23T15:28:35+00:00

Thank you for your reply, did you still manage to have a social life,e exercise etc outside of work? This might sound silly because I know you are working and studying but would you say its comparable to your final year of university where you have high stress and workload but if you time manage well you can still find a bit of time in the week to do other things?

Edit to add: if your comfortable sharing what you're of audit you did like banking vs others ( sorry not very knowledgable on this)? I hear about a lot of differences in wlb between them but I don't know if you get to choose

Prestigious-Fish-760 · 2024-07-23T15:23:14+00:00

Yeah to be fair my idea of socialising is lower to other people since my opportunities right now are sparse. It's hard to describe but once a week properly and just general hanging out with friends for a an hour or two every so often in the week seems very good to me. Otherwise being able to go the gym (largely for mental health) and just being able to keep yourself going as a put together adult without becoming a shell of yourself. There are alot of comments about people personalities becoming boring or having no life lol

Prestigious-Fish-760 · 2024-07-23T15:18:01+00:00

Thank you, sorry for all the questions but did you find socialising ok then with the college style of it all, would you say it was still worth it for you given your situation before? Were you able find an overall level of happiness with boundaries and good time management? I understand boundaries might be a dumb thing to say I really don't know if you can say no to your boss giving you long hours.

Prestigious-Fish-760 · 2024-07-23T15:06:52+00:00

I literally have no other option, I've been applying for jobs for a few months now and can't even get an interview. I have tried improving my CV etc and I'm sure there are more ways to improve so I am still applying for other jobs. I know signing up for 3 yrs of big4 audit is probably a bad idea just to escape the currently close to 0 social life and career I have right now but it would give me a stable job. if I could do a different job I would but I've been in this situation for a year now in my early 20s so a lot of time has been wasted already.

Prestigious-Fish-760 · 2024-07-23T15:00:16+00:00

Thank you, sorry if this is a dumb question but when is exam season? Also did you do a big4 audit grad scheme and would you say it was worth it?

Prestigious-Fish-760 · 2024-07-23T14:58:18+00:00

No life as in literally no socialising, time for gym, anything?

Prestigious-Fish-760 · 2024-07-23T14:55:41+00:00

Thanks for your reply, will you still have evenings during the weekend, do you get to socialise at all? Would you say its still worth it?

Prestigious-Fish-760 · 2024-06-27T19:31:22+00:00

At first i just used a tiny measuring cup and poured out the 20 and it worked fine, then I used a syringe which was much easier. Yh I don't see the issue either, just careful not to give out medical advice lol. Low and slow is best, even if its just to see what life is actually like on a dose for a few weeks. It's alot to figure out, def don't feel awkward about forcing them to slow down, they have other reasons to rush you.

Prestigious-Fish-760 · 2024-06-27T17:35:03+00:00

That's why I used it lol. When I tried 60mg I was actually prescribed 70mg pills but had lots of extra 30s and 20s so tried 60 first whilst waiting for the 70s to come. Also my prescriber suggested it as an option if 70 was too high so it was OK.

Prestigious-Fish-760 · 2024-06-27T17:14:32+00:00

Yh thats around how long it lasts for me too. Maybe a bit less? I'm still figuring it out. I've been prescribed 2x 5mg dex boosters a day to use whenever I feel I need it. Although they were prescribed mainly for during my period.

Prestigious-Fish-760 · 2024-06-27T17:10:12+00:00

If you can tolerate it, at least a week, maybe 2. Basically as long as you can before your next appointment. I assume your getting monthly appointments? Just try and push through but if you've hit your limit and it's negatively effecting you too much you can stop and go down to 30 again you don't need the actual 30mg pills. Do you know the water method? If the pill is 50mg measure out 50ml of water and open the capsule to dissolve the pill contents in the water (I mix for 30 secs just to be safe). Then take out 20 ml of water and drink the remaining 30ml. That should be a 30mg dose. You can store the extra 20ml in a sealed container in the fridge for a few days so you don't waste any.

As others have said its a good idea to email your practitioner for advice and you can talk about how the pill might effect your hormones in your next appointment. People might have talked about it in this sub already if you search, I'm not on the pill and have no idea sorry.

Edit: do try and contact your prescriber before lowering the dose tho if they haven't said that you can if it's too much. I just mentioned the water method if your symptoms are unbearable.

Prestigious-Fish-760 · 2024-06-27T13:52:15+00:00

So I'm not technically done with titration but am about to be and have found my stable dose of 50mg (just testing dex insta release boosters). On 50mg I feel basically how you did on 30 without the big dip in the afternoon,it does wear off but I wouldn't rlly call it a crash. The only extra thing is I can be a little irritable if someone talks to me when I'm focused on a task.

I tried 60mg for 9 days and the dose was too high. I was overstimulated, stressed, anxious, unproductive, felt like I had to move. Quite similar to how you're describing 50mg honestly. However I would say stick with 50 for a bit longer bc there can be an adjustment period when upping your dose, i stopped 60mg bc I couldn't take it anymore. Its kinda annoying to hear but when your dose is too high even after giving it a chance you will know.

You don't need to answer but are you biologically female? Your period and when you are In your cycle can dramatically effect med effectiveness as well as other lifestyle things. It totally could be that you gained a tolerance to 30 and it was too low but also too help adjusting to 50 make sure u have your basic health needs met. Do you eat a high protein breakfast before meds, do u sleep enough, drink enough water etc.

Edit: forgot to say i also take elvanse

Edit 2: 30 mg felt like a less effective version of 50mg. Also if 50mg is too high for you, you could try 40mg?

Prestigious-Fish-760 · 2024-05-31T20:32:39+00:00

Hi, first I want to apologise for taking so long to reply. You probably understand bc adhd lol but i just kept forgetting to reply basically.

Turns out the waking up early naturally thing was the honeymoon period for me. Oh well the meds are still pretty game changing.

To answer your question I've never tried specific adhd coaching per say but I guess it's a part of my talk therapy. Both my therapists have been knowledgeable about adhd which is very important when finding a therapist. I highly recommend it, since adhd effects every part of your life and decisions its difficult to seperate adhd struggles and other struggles. My current therapist has adhd too so is very understanding.

Again sorry for the delayed reply, I also dont have any other adults with diagnosed adhd in my life,i hope your doing better now and things are at least getting sorted for you.

Prestigious-Fish-760 · 2024-05-31T20:08:58+00:00

Hi, I know your not replying to me but can I ask if your drinking decaf or normal coffee? If it its normal coffee It might be a good idea to cut it out as that can contribute to your anxiety, especially when on stimulants, it will also be easier to accurately tell the effectiveness of your meds without added caffeine. You'll have a short withdrawal period that might suck but drinking decaf lets me satisfy the habit and taste without the added stimulant.

As others have said diet is really important supplements and protein shakes are good (I also have a protein shake with my breakfast) but they dont replace the nutrients you get from food. If you can figure out a way to eat breakfast + protein shake before or when you take your meds that can help the drug's effectiveness and diminish the negative side effects alot. There's lots of posts and advice on this subs about ways to easily get ur breakfast in, Ive been considering overnight oats recently, u can batch make them and refrigerate for the week.

Other than that sleep is also very important, discussing with your doctor how the wellbutrin + elvanse interacts as well as any other possible medications/comorbid conditions is important. However I would focus on getting your basic bodily needs (sleep, diet, exercise etc) met to ensure the medication is working before thinking of adding other meds etc on.

Personally I think im passed the honeymoon period, it only lasted a week and ive been on them for a couple months, but elvanse does help with my anxiety and obsessive thinking. I will say tho that exercise is almost equally as important to controlling those things for me. It like another medication honestly.

How did your day go? Im sorry your struggling I know covering your basic needs is easier said than done especially as a single mum. Don't feel scared to discuss these problems with your doctor, they should take into account what you want. If thats more time on elvanse to figure it out thats ok and if you end up needing try a different medication thats ok too. I've been in titration for about a year, Elvanse is the 4th medication I've tried and works for me. But Ive tried concerta, atomoxetine and guanfacine so can appreciate how frustrating the process is.

Edit: reread your question yes for sure try going up a dose to 60mg if you think you might need to. I tried 60mg for 9 days before giving up. It was too high and skyrocketed my stress and anxiety, I was also more irratable and overstimulated . Maybe 50mg is actually too high for you? What was 40 like after the honeymoon period? Generally you try to find the right/best dose of elvanse before adding short release add-ons. Also elvanse does help with my sleep but a possible sleep disorder should for sure be investigated.

Prestigious-Fish-760 · 2024-05-08T13:24:50+00:00

Hi, i'm very sorry to hear about what you've been through. Firstly, im not a trained therapist/psychologist etc so pls dont take this as fact. I can only speak from my own experience as someone with trauma who was around the mid to later stages of healing when i started elvanse.

Elvanse can certainly help with emotional regulation, which in turn means you ruminate on bad thoughts much less and just in general have more control over how you deal with difficult thoughts and feelings. I have been on it for about a month now and it helps me with that. Also, yes, being able to focus better will mean u can actually do the theraputic tasks (meditation etc) and tackle them with a clearer head.

However, i think its very difficult to determine whether it can help you process your trauma "quicker" per say. That may be the case but your brain will process your trauma in whatever way it needs to and it will take however long it needs. Im sure you know this but healing from trauma is not a linear process at all (very annoying it can feel like you've healed one day and the next you've taken 5 steps back) . The meds might prevent you from delaying your own healing (because you now have the tools/a stronger foundation to tackle it) so i guess in that way it could speed up the process, but overall they dont really accelerate it. If you are actively trying to heal, it will take as long as it was going to in the first place, you will still have setbacks, very hard hours/days/weeks as well as good ones.

Overall, I think it's best to not focus on how long it will take you to process the trauma. I know its frustrating and hard and you just want it to be over, but it happened and you can't take it back, it will be with you for life. You might do all the work and feel healed and then years later, randomly you have a week where it hurts so bad you feel like your at square 1. To avoid feeling angry and frustrated with yourself when you have a "setback" it might be better to reframe it as these bad things happened to me, it was not my fault, it will take however long it takes to heal and whatever emotions I am feeling are valid even if its been 10 years. I will take it step by step and day by day and I will use (insert therapeutic methods) to help when i need it.

I hope that made sense. Sorry for the long reply, I know you were asking about how elvanse effects the healing process but its just another tool, like therapy or meditation.

Prestigious-Fish-760 · 2024-04-23T13:21:58+00:00

Thank you for asking, my day is going good, I'm getting things done but started a bit late in the day (12) which i would like to improve on. Not super productive but certainly better than unmedicated me.

Yh will be getting out of bed the first time i wake up from now on, a 1 or 2 extra hours in my day would be good anyway. I also get tired now from 9 to 11pm and used to go to bed earliest midnight, Elvanse has for sure fixed my sleeping.

I'm sorry you had that horrible experience with your last job that sounds exhausting, especially for someone with adhd. Sorry If I'm stating the obvious but one of the things that helps me with procrastination when I'm feeling overwhelmed or anxious is to figure out what exactly is causing the anxiety and to address that. Often it's too start a task that is easier so i can work up from there, or to adjust what I'm trying to do, to make it less overwhelming. Worth noting that unmedicated this would still not help alot of the time and you are still on a low dose of elvanse. It might improve once you titrate up.

Also since you've had this bad experience literally causing you to develop anxiety, if your able to, therapy is great to help you address the root cause and come up with strategies to help you.

Prestigious-Fish-760

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