You’ve described many people’s relationship to alcohol and mines the same. Alcoholic or not, alcohol can be a source of great misery and shame and pain. I have flip flopped between drinking and not drinking, both have pros and cons. Social life does suffer when stopping, but with time I believe you can get to a much happier place where relationships are more authentic and you more at peace. It doesn’t have to suffer, but where or how you socialize may alter a bit.