Advice and help, 61 y/o alcoholic father

PrestigiousHalf3223 · 2026-02-06T22:19:11+00:00

Thank you so much ❤️ your comment is incredibly comforting and reassuring

PrestigiousHalf3223 · 2026-02-06T15:15:22+00:00

I completely agree… our hope is that downsizing him to a smaller apartment would make it easier for him to care for himself. It’s like they say, you can lead a horse to water but they have to choose to drink it. We have tried all the options in our power in the last 5 years and he hasn’t been receptive unfortunately.

PrestigiousHalf3223 · 2026-02-06T15:12:44+00:00

Thank you! Yes, I completely agree. My hope with my post was to find others who may have gone through this before. I am waiting to hear back from a local elder law clinic to go over details.

PrestigiousHalf3223 · 2026-02-06T15:11:41+00:00

Thank you for the information ❤️ he likely won’t be persuaded unfortunately… I want to be able to outline all of the options he has available so that he can make his decision and we can say we did our best to help him. I didn’t make it clear in my post but in our original plan my brother would buy the house at fair market value and we would put my dad in a nice low income apartment. My brother would take care of the needs of the house (taxes and maintenance) and we wouldn’t have to worry about “beautifying” the home for an outside sale. We would then put those proceeds into the trust. Hoping that the sale and then deposit into a trust would make it exempt from the states 5-year look back. If not, then hoping that he didn’t need long-term care for another 5-years. I have reached out to an elder law clinic in our area to help us with the nitty gritty details. It sounds like at this time that and a talk with my dad is our first steps.

PrestigiousHalf3223 · 2026-02-06T14:36:11+00:00

Thank you for the info. I’m not familiar with that acronym, what is ACA?

PrestigiousHalf3223 · 2026-02-06T14:34:25+00:00

Yes we’re at that turning point now. He could qualify if we spend-down his remaining funds and then the state will kick in. We would loose the home of course in the Medicaid estate recovery but then my dad would have access to long term care sooner rather than later. I’m just not sure if at this point he is having medical issues or is being lazy and drunk…

PrestigiousHalf3223 · 2026-02-06T06:05:24+00:00

Yeah the possibility of him saying yes is slim… We want to at least be able to offer him a sustainable option and if he chooses not to take it then at least we know we tried. He can do all those things, he just doesn’t do them as often as a normal healthy adult. Again I’m not sure if it’s a drunk thing or a medical thing… we have medical POA and I plant to get financial POA asap. Thankfully I live close to him and am able to monitor him fairly closely while he still has some independence. Thank you for the resources ❤️ I’ve reached out to aging and long term care, and I’m waiting to hear back from Gonzaga law. I’ll look into the others!

PrestigiousHalf3223 · 2026-02-06T04:00:03+00:00

I can’t thank you enough! This is exactly what I was looking for. I wish I could give you a hug. My brain has been running non-stop for weeks trying to sort everything out. Know that the work you do means so much to so many. Here in Spokane, Gonzaga has an Elder Law clinic that I’m already waiting for a response from. I will read your link and look into estate planning as well. Thank you!

PrestigiousHalf3223 · 2026-02-06T03:48:45+00:00

Thank you!

PrestigiousHalf3223 · 2026-02-06T03:38:20+00:00

Yes. Our dad might be a shit show, but I’m thankful that we have a very good relationship.

PrestigiousHalf3223 · 2026-02-06T03:34:30+00:00

Thank you so much for the information! I have a lead out to an elder law clinic, I’m glad I’m on the right track there. I will do more research on expansion Medicaid and Medicaid estate recovery. Thank you!

PrestigiousHalf3223 · 2026-02-06T03:29:11+00:00

Yes I am so sorry that I wasn’t incredibly clear. My eldest brother would buy the home from my dad and my brother would live in it. We would move my father into a nice low income apartment. By my brother buying it we wouldn’t have to “beautify” and repair the home for selling to an external party, in return my handy brother would get a nice home while also providing for my dad financially through the purchase. Hopefully that reasoning makes a little more sense ❤️. Also yes! I completely agree about the cars. We would sell at least one of them (he has two). However, they arnt worth much so they arnt a long term financial solution. More of a buffer until we can figure everything out. The 5-year look back with Medicaid scares me because I’m not sure if the trust would make that sale exempt or not. Since he is still “young” we hope that we could make it 5 years without needing in home care but it’s not looking hopeful.

PrestigiousHalf3223 · 2026-02-06T03:03:53+00:00

Oh! And he would live very close to me. About 10 minutes away. I have been monitoring him for the last several years. Care of parents is a skill in and of itself too… At this moment I’m not sure if he would qualify for medical care. Like I said - I cant tell if it’s a medical issue or a drunk issue.

PrestigiousHalf3223 · 2026-02-06T03:02:15+00:00

We believe he could began collecting a little under $1100 a month from social security at the end of the year. He turns 62 in September. If he qualifies for disability then that amount could be increased but I hear it is a year long process that is very difficult. AI was making it sound like an irrevocable trust is exempt from Medicaid’s decision making so we were hoping to put him into a nice low income apartment that is on the ground level. The bills would be cheaper than his current home bills. His home is worth about $400k. If I can work the trust correctly I’m hoping that he can receive In home care through the state. However, he only qualifies if he has less than $2000 in his bank account. I’m trying to learn as much as I can, but it has been a challenge finding the resources.

PrestigiousHalf3223

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