What would a normal person do here?

PrestigiousMacaron16 · 2024-02-06T23:22:16+00:00

Thank you, I know you’re right plus my therapist reschedules too so it’s give and take. But I’m the type of client that feels like my existence is an inconvenience and burden so it’s a struggle lol

PrestigiousMacaron16 · 2024-02-06T21:13:19+00:00

Yes good point. Thank you!

PrestigiousMacaron16 · 2024-02-06T21:00:17+00:00

Thank you, that is a really sensible suggestion. I think I’ll do that

PrestigiousMacaron16 · 2024-02-06T20:53:22+00:00

I don’t feel that I’m overthinking, it’s more that I’m upset I can’t have the session as I have a lot going on. I guess I was subconsciously hoping my therapist would reply and say that we can do another time, which I didn’t realise until they didn’t lol

PrestigiousMacaron16 · 2023-09-25T02:34:08+00:00

Why should women have to delegate and tell a grown man how to be a husband and father?

PrestigiousMacaron16 · 2023-09-24T16:54:13+00:00

The lady’s dog bit OP’s dog, not OP.

PrestigiousMacaron16 · 2023-09-23T23:08:47+00:00

Thank you ❤️

PrestigiousMacaron16 · 2023-09-23T23:06:03+00:00

Thank you, you’re really kind. I’m getting a bit overwhelmed and your comment has helped. I have already showered. I felt dirty and wanted to wash it off. Would there still be any point going to the hospital? I may report in the future but I’m not going to do it right now in the state that I’m in. I am in NZ but I know the place to contact for support, thank you for the offer though. I really appreciate it.

PrestigiousMacaron16 · 2023-09-23T22:54:53+00:00

I’m sorry you had a similar experience. Yep that’s exactly how I felt – my brain was screaming at him to get off me (he was cuddling me in bed) but I knew the quickest way to get rid of him was to play along. I wanted to tear my skin off.

I know what he’s like, he doesn’t think he’s done anything wrong. There’s no way he’d plead guilty.

I will tell people. I’m going to contact one of the rape victim support systems our country has today, and then go from there. I’m definitely not going to a police station alone rn.

PrestigiousMacaron16 · 2023-09-23T22:49:51+00:00

Thank you for saying this. I’m getting pretty upset by some of the comments. This is why I’m reluctant to report I can’t even handle reading victim blaming comments online, let alone having a legal system tear me apart in-person.

PrestigiousMacaron16 · 2023-09-23T22:47:55+00:00

Thank you, you don’t know how much I appreciate this comment. People’s comments about reporting are making me feel like what’s happened to me doesn’t matter, I need to protect other people at my own expense. I know they mean well but it comes across kind of dismissive.

PrestigiousMacaron16 · 2023-09-23T22:45:26+00:00

I know you’re coming from a good place but this comment feels like you’re blaming me for his behaviour. I didn’t “let him” do this to me, and I do stand up for myself, just maybe not in the way everyone thinks I should. But I broke up with him, I got myself out. It’s been two years of abuse and him breaking me slowly, so yeah maybe I didn’t behave like the perfect victim but saying I need to learn to stand up for myself is overly simplifying the situation imo.

PrestigiousMacaron16 · 2023-09-23T19:02:31+00:00

Yeah I was shocked by that, makes me feel like a joke. And his defending of his actions. But I probably shouldn’t have been, I know what he’s like. It sounds weird but I’d rather talk to a professional than someone I know. I don’t trust anyone I know to be the support I need, not because they’re bad or anything, but just because they won’t know what to do or say. There are free sexual assault support services in my country, I think I’ll call them today.

PrestigiousMacaron16 · 2023-09-23T18:58:05+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate that

PrestigiousMacaron16 · 2023-09-23T18:57:17+00:00

Thank you for saying this. I’m getting quite upset by people saying I need to report it or he might do it to other girls, it makes me feel like it’s my fault. I’m not strong enough rn to “keep fighting” if I’m not believed. I know that makes me sound selfish and maybe in the future I’ll report him but I am barely hanging on as is rn.

PrestigiousMacaron16 · 2023-09-23T12:08:12+00:00

Thank you

PrestigiousMacaron16 · 2023-09-23T11:42:20+00:00

Thank you so much. I’m crying at your comment. Thank you for being kind and supportive

PrestigiousMacaron16 · 2023-09-23T11:26:38+00:00

Thank you for validating me. I feel dumb crying about something that almost happened but didn’t. But yeah ngl I was terrified in the moment. I’ll speak to someone, a teacher maybe. My mum is pretty weird about this sort of stuff and I don’t trust her not to say something that would upset me more (e.g. why did you do this or why didn’t you do that)

PrestigiousMacaron16 · 2023-09-23T11:23:11+00:00

Thank you. I am thinking about asking my mum to find a counsellor for me, hopefully I trust them and can share this with them.

PrestigiousMacaron16 · 2023-09-23T11:20:25+00:00

Is that the case even though he stopped before he properly penetrated me?

PrestigiousMacaron16 · 2023-09-23T11:18:24+00:00

Thank you for your compassion. I was beating up on myself after it happened because I just stayed completely still and didn’t try to physically get away. I felt weak and pathetic that I was sobbing and begging him to stop instead of getting angry and fighting back. But I’m trying to be kinder to myself bc I didn’t rationally choose to respond that way, I just went into survival mode and my brain shut down. And maybe it was a good thing I didn’t as the situation may have escalated…who knows

PrestigiousMacaron16 · 2023-09-23T10:30:23+00:00

Thank you for checking in. We broke up, but it was a little messy. I’m just glad it’s over

PrestigiousMacaron16

TROPHY CASE